Fear Of The Unknown

There is no greater creation than giving birth. Mother is the only God I know. Rather Parents are the only Gods I know. I cannot imagine what the parents go through in protecting, raising the life they created. How much can you protect? How I wish the world is all gooey, warm even if its dark. Like a Mom's womb. So that I can just float around in the safety and comfort of endless dreams.

One of my close friends recently asked me to inquire about the best school in town for her 3 years old daughter who will be ready for school next year. How much planning ahead do we do for our kids? Planning before even the kid entered the world. Does everything go as per our plans? And from what I knew, I suggested her this place and I see that the same school today is in news with a 6 year old girl being raped right in the school premises. Is anything in this world a safe place? Is such a thing a myth?

And the school is trying to protects its name from media. Do they even realize what they are doing as an educational institute? Whom are they trying to protect? School's prestige? The Staff? Their Profits? As a school isn't it THEIR responsibility to expose the culprits and do the justice to the parents and kids? Shouldn't it be the school the first to file the case with police. Till now the names of the culprits have not come out. Why doesn't media use their network to pull their names out?
Unfortunately I happened to see a video by Aaj Tak, where in this lady is interviewing the Delhi Gang Rape Victim and Survivor. She is taking him to the same exact places from where Nirbhaya & her friend hired an auto, where they got down and the bus they boarded. I am never ever going to watch Aaj Tak channel. Heights of stupidity. You can watch the video here. This shows to what levels media has stooped down and how good they do their job.

Few of my friends/ colleagues have their kids studying in the same school and they were speculating if its one of theirs. Seriously? Who the victim is of such importance to you? They may have good intentions behind doing this, which I may not understand. But what good does it do you, knowing the kid or her parents. Are you going to provide moral support? Yeah right, that is all we are capable of doing. Ain't it?

And am shocked to see people lecturing on teaching the kids, dressing style etc. How does what a girl wears or how she behaves or what she talks seduce somebody? That too a 6 year old girl. Why is that we have this tendency to defend? Defend the accused, unless you relate yourself to the accused what reason on earth do you have to defend the culprit and give advise to the victim? I have seen this in many a places. Pity comes into picture and somehow showing pity makes people feel like Gods. Do they even realize what damage they are doing to others lives who really are the sufferers? No one has right to take someone's life not even the court, but death is the easiest punishment. Everyone talks about punishment but why do we miss prevention? How can we not have such incidents happening in the first place?

If a normal day-to-day activity of sending your kid to school is such a threat that you would not know what would happen to her/ him, how can you ever be in peace through out your or your kids life?
This is just one incident. How about the accidents? How about the filth, the bad that lingers around almost everything nowadays? There is no way I can teach my kids that right will only result in right. That being good is not a weakness but a  virtue. 

Do I ever want to bring a life into such a place? A place where there is no safety, truth, justice or good? Where everything is corrupt. On my favorite show there is a quote which tried to answer my question - "The World changes when good people raise their babies right". I dont think so. I know for sure that the kid would only end up being a victim or the best case a loner with no one around to trust.

Also posted on MouthShut.

Life Is Grande

In my childhood America was my dream. My only dream. Not visiting it but living on this land of success. That is what it meant to me back then - Land of Success, Fortune and Dreams. I have said enough about how much I wanted to study abroad and settle down their doing some cut-throat research. Well am glad its just a dream.

Though later my priorities changed, this fading dream was still there. Somewhere. Somewhere in the zone of "if I get a chance why not". Then it was not for studies but for work. I wanted to work abroad. I really cannot say why exactly, but cause everyone else were doing it. Then later the age dawned on me, and it eventually became a place I want to visit. With time many more places got added to the list of places to visit. I wanted to visit Las Vegas( again not that I appreciate the city for what it is), but because what I hear from others and because its on everyone's bucket list( at least the people I know). And how does it feel when all this comes true? Amazing? Unbelievable? Not really.

So I had to travel on a business to this country of dreams and I had time to visit Las Vegas too. And my experience of the whole thing? It really does not matter where you are unless there is someone to witness your happiness, your excitement. Someone you love. Someone who cares for you. So that your life does not go unnoticed in the midst of billion lives of other people on this planet. When have I become such a hopeless romantic? Anyways, here's my take on my dream country  - Life is Grande here in Unites States Of America. Yes, one thing I learned from my trip - to live larger than life. I setup so many constraints, boundaries around myself. Home loan that made me frugal. Not traveling enough cause of lame reasons of health, work, Leo( my pet) etc. So yeah,  live life by your standards, not by standards set by someone else. Do not end up living your whole life saving for rainy day or for that special day.

Life is Grande

We tend to do so many things just because its fashion to do so. So I WANTED to have a cup of coffe at Star Bucks ( and it pretty much tastes the same). Since I took the plane to US of America, everything came in large.You order a small coffee, and its larger than the large in India( that did not sound right, but you get it right?). You order food the quantity is so much that two of us can share it. Not just food or drinks, the roads, the malls everything is so big, huge and so advanced. They do not have one fourth of the traffic that any Bangalore road has but they have 4 times bigger roads. Why? Take any infrastructure, its just huge. I still cannot get why? Nothing is just sufficient. Everything is in excess. Everything is large and you are larger than life.

Variety Vs Uniqueness

And talk about variety. Same stuff is available in so many varieties. No 2 cars are the same. I guess people are very unique over there. Unlike here in India where we just follow the flock. I was parked on a pretty busy road in Bangalore and there were 6 i10's among 10 cars. One among them is mine. Only uniqueness was the number plate. Yeah we do spend so much on fancy numbers :-P. Take from fashion to cuisine this country embraces every culture.

Discipline

Every time I step out of my home, there are two things that I dread. Chaotic traffic and having to use a toilet. Toilets in a restaurant, airport or any place that is not yours, use it like you are never going to use it ever again. Not only you, but anyone after you. That is the way we treat anything that is not ours. We are hygiene freaks when it comes to our home, our toilets, our car etc. But if its not yours, why do we treat them the way we do? And we are in such a hurry to get rid of any unwanted baggage, that we throw it anywhere we like it. Well again anywhere that is not my home. Why can't we keep the city clean? We boast so much about how patriotic we are, but where does it all go when it comes to simple act of keeping your city/ country clean? And then traffic. Only place I saw same traffic as on MG Road in USA is Las Vegas Strip. BUT. There were no honks. What a bliss? There are no speed breakers anywhere on the road, just a "STOP" sign written on a the road. People just stop whether or not there is another vehicle, pedestrian or a signal. How come they are so disciplined? Cause the fines are way too high? But what are the chances of getting caught in the first place? We gamble a lot with our luck. Everyday. More than the gambling that happens in Vegas. If no one sees us we break rules by betting on our luck. We would even drive on the opposite direction on a one-way. Anything to break the rules. If there is a queue, you would want to push through, as if you are in a hurry. We are in hurry all the time. In every queue that I had been in USA people were very patient. They always let me first. Irrespective of their age. I was actually ashamed that an older person offered me to go first.

Being Connected

Somehow I felt people are to themselves. Like in India people do not connect. May be cause I was a stranger there. Or may be not. Even at office I do not see two people socializing over a cup of coffee. And work ethic is so high. If a person is in office and s/he says they are working - they are really working. If they want to take time off they do not lie about it. They take a vacation. They value their self development and families enough that valuing work comes easily. They are not working cause the society is expecting them, but cause they need to support themselves or their families. Not because they are bored but because they need the job. I had a conversation with the shuttle driver who apparently is an immigrant from Indian Origin. He works 6 months and takes a vacation back in India for 6 months. No job is a bad job or a good job. Every job is equally respected. And there is no superiority in terms of social status. Every one is treated the same.

In the end...

There are many things to improve on for us. Not in terms of Government or Finance or Infrastructure. But first as good citizens. Responsible people. This is all it takes to be a better country. That is all it takes to grow. Be conscious, be responsible and respect discipline. There are no shortcuts. Now be one and vote :D.

All said and done, I love India. I love living here, being connected.  I love the festivals. I like the celebrations. I like the way we see and live our lifes - as if it were a box office hit masala movie - a great entertainer. And little of "chalta hain" attitude once in a while is ok, as long as it is to keep the humor on in life. And isn't my life grand here? It is in Indian Standards. So I would prefer to live a grand life here in India than be a nobody abroad.

Mere Bharat Mahan. Period.

Also posted on Mouthshut.

Whats Up With WhatsApp?

I used many mail service providers, messengers, tools at work for development. With all of these at least there is one annoying thing that makes me disappointed in them. Say ads, say documentation, say ease of use, or say stupid crazy processes that make no sense anyone.

My favorites among all are Perl( the programming language that I use at work) and the WhatsApp. Never did I like anything else more than these tools that I use in my day-to-day life. Why is it that WhatsApp is so popular? I have been using it only for an year and I am totally in love with this mobile application. What is so great about it - it's simplicity.

No Gimmicks
It does not ask for you email ID or for signup. No stupid reminders or advertisements. No invitation requests. If you are on someone's contact list they can message you. Of course there is a block feature to block users from messaging. You have a smart phone and whatsapp installed, then there is no better way to communicate with your friends and family than WhatsApp.

Share Anything You Like
You can share texts, images, files, videos, audio and what not. It uses internet to send or receive. How simple is that? It is platform independent. How cool is that? There is no upload first, set the privacy and then share. You send to the people you want to and there you go. Its shared.

Respect for Privacy
Is there a way to make your cover photo on facebook not public? Seriously? Who made those rules that cover photo has to be public for people to know you? How should I choose not to make these too personal? You share with only those who are on your contact list. Of course you share your number only with trusted people. And even on top of it you always have "Block" feature.

Ease Of Use
User interface is so easy to use that any naive user who is not a tech savvy can adapt and use it. How thoughtful of that? Most importantly it is free of cost for an year and a negligible subscription fee of 1$/year. I have my Dhobi's number on my contact list and am surprised to know that he uses WhatsApp too. He cannot even do a simple addition of numbers.

Literature
I send a message to my friend on Facebook and it gives me another notification to tell if the message is delivered or not. Showing me a red indicator that message was not sent. And how does WhatsApp do it? With simple tick marks. Not so fussy about notifications you see? Isn't that enough? Telling you the status using a simple symbol than "Sent" or  "Not Sent" blah blah. Who needs literature here?

Speed
And talk about the speed! I bet no other messengers can match that speed and THAT is why it beats the rest. Could you wait even for half a second when you have to share a good news with your loved ones? All the time spent on WhatsApp is on sharing but no on waiting.

And did it earn anything by being so cheap? Oh yes! Guess who's buying WhatsApp for 20 billion dollars. Gaint in Social Network Sites - The Facebook. When they started developing WhatsApp, did they get threatened, disheartened by other messengers available in the market? Did they think of the profits? Did they think it would sustain and beat the rest? What was their motive?  Did they have a strategy? Or it was just do it and lets see what happens, and then the luck favored them?

Also posted on MouthShut.

La Vie En Rose

I never believed that there should be one special day to celebrate love. And only one person to celebrate love with. Your valentine can be your Mom, a friend, even a pet apart from just the usual of having your partner as a valentine. Anyways Feb 11th is the day I  first met my husband. So this happens to be a special day and because everyone around talks so much about this month, and valentines day and blah blah we were forced to treat 11th as our special day.

My idea was to have a nice dinner at home watching one of "MY" favorite movies. Well before marriage I made a big list of movies I would watch with my husband again someday. So this time it was "The Bridges of Madison County". How our day ended up watching boring, cynical and depressing "Her" movie and eating in a restaurant is a different story.

When I watched this movie for the first time, I was not married then. Basically if my husband has to describe this movie he would say it is a movie based on adultery. Not on love. Back then when I was single, somehow I failed to notice that Francesca was married. All I could see in the movie was two souls Francesca and Robert falling in love that they lived and longed for till their death. A sweet short story of four days that they cherished and the only reason they could continue living the way they were living with their mundane routine life's.  I have posted already on this movie and its here.

When I watched it this time. Well on valentines day i.e, Feb 14th and of course alone. I saw it differently. Somehow the scenes where Francesca or Robert were conscious of the society, the neighbors and even the guilt that Francesca has were unnoticed. But now I see them and it all appears to be such a cliche. But this movie should still be watched my married people. It does not show the adultery but it shows what a marriage should not miss. The love between Robert and Francesca is something that SHOULD be there between a husband and wife. Most importantly when you fell in love and got married to this person of your choice.

The way Robert picks her wild flowers. The way he offers a helping hand in the kitchen, the way they have conversations over dinner or a drink. The way they are curious about each other and each others life's. The way they are living it up than walking through it as machines programmed to do so. Building beautiful memories that can last a life time. Memory of 4 days on which Francesca pulled her whole life through.

Well, I did watch a movie(Wall-E) and a TV series(How I Met Your Mother) this month and co-incidentally they had this song being played and this has been on a repeat-mode lately. To all those in love:

Hold me close and hold me fast
This magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose
When you kiss me, Heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom
And when you speak
Angels sing from above
Every day words
Seem to turn into love songs
Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

I thought that love was just a word
They sang about in songs I heard
It took your kisses to reveal
That I was wrong, and love is real
Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me, Heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose
When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom
And when you speak
Angels sing from above
Every day words
Seem to turn into love songs
Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

Also posted on MouthShut.

Innocence

I read this somewhere - "Greatest illusion of life is the Innocence". I guess its true, only when the reality dawns on you, one realizes how blinded they are with respect to the view of the real World. You were scared in childhood, of ghosts, of devils, not knowing they were fictional. Later as you grow you realize there are more things you need to be scared of than those which do not exist. I really was very scared of these things and even till date I do not watch any horror movies. There were nights in my childhood when I thought I wont make it till the morning cause something was going to eat me up and I just prayed and prayed till it was morning. But the next morning I did not even remember the nightmare. On the contrary and on the positive side, today I can sleep peacefully
 all alone( of course with my pet). I know what is fiction and what is fact. On the negative side, now, there are so many devils inside my head that eat me up day and night. When did you grow up so much that you failed to see the day and the night separately? And I read and watch Fiction a lot cause fictional world seems better than the real world.

 I thought friends were forever. They are the family. Only ones with whom you share a secret. You laugh, you play, you fight with. My innocence did not tell me that someday people part and they are gone, when life happens. Today, luckily I have siblings and they seem to be the best friends who were there all the time. I just did not see them, and thought they were the best enemies. What about those who do not have any siblings? How do they cope being alone in this big world? On paper I seem to have many many friends today than those exclusive few friends who were only for you. Should I be happy for the life happening to me or to them?

Competition was to win. To be the best. To be the first. To be the smartest. To be the one who runs faster. To be the one who scores the high. Not be cheating but by playing the game fair. Now, none of these things matter in the race. When did these definitions change? Honesty, integrity seem to be a loser's cup of tea now. How easy was it to trust then. Trust a thing, a person. Is there truly anyone whom you could really really trust your life with? Not the family members of course. Guess it all says why people started building barriers, bridges, borders. There were times when people took advantage, people cheated, people broke the trust. But now all of us have learnt, tackled and withstood. But to be always on check for who the next one is to be careful of?

I wonder where all the time I had as a child is gone now. Time lying on a terrace and watching the stars, when there was a separate time slot in the day to PLAY. Not just go to school and study, but PLAY. Where did the summer vacations go? Where did all the relatives go? Now you don't remember  when was the last time you saw the sun rise or set. Relatives are only a nuisance now. No one stays more than a week or two anymore. I wonder how we used to spend months together at someone else's place. Everyone wants to leave and get back to their own cozy cocoons. And what is a vacation now? Just a time off from work. You really don't care where you go and what you do and how you spend and who you spend your time with. Just hit the road and be someplace. Somewhere lost. You have already seen the place in pictures before you go, enquired with people who had been there, you even have a weather forecast. Where did the curiosity in life go? Oh well, yest its just a click away. For everything you just click. Click, Click and Click.

Should one be happy or sad for being innocent? Is Innocence a flaw?

Also posted on MouthShut.

Fools Paradise

"Give a man a mask and he will show you his true face"

Don't we all wear a mask all(most of) the time? But to protect our true self or to feign? Starting with religion, education, media hypocrisy has become part of life that if things were blatant guess all us would die just with the shock of it. Take Media, when I flip through channels after a busy day all I really want is to see happy smiling faces. Of course not sad stories, miseries. So I would prefer comedy sitcoms to news channels. And people walking out the theaters when asked how the movie was, 8 out of 10 people would say its awesome. They are worried that their clip may not be shown on TV if they gave bad reviews about the movie. They are smart people who know that the interview is being taken for promoting the movie, in the first place.

I can go on about religion. People are so mean, jealous, filled with hatred and what not. But they fast every week. They spend 10 hours in a day in prayers. They can shell thousands of rupees in the temples but cannot give a penny to the one in need. God term to this people is a way to pacify themselves and accept themselves in spite of their unacceptable behavior. And education system, I am not really sure of how it is today, but back in my school days, I vaguely remember having a subject "Moral Sciences" but again why are you rated on this subject if it was to impart morals?

I see few kids these days and may be the system is changing or may be its just the upbringing. These kids do not want to cheat in the games they play even though they no they have least chances of winning. They WANT to play the cards that are given TO them. Not by cheating, not by stealing. And they do not take a reward or recognition that they think they do not deserve. We as adults, do we really know what we deserve and what we don't? Just because the other person has it I deserve it too. Children greet with such pure intentions - when they say a hi, there is really a genuine gesture that wants to greet you. But when we wish a person today why do our lips twist? What corrupts childhood that when we are grow up we lose this purity, and start wearing a mask?

Below is a list of categories of these hypocrites for laughs :-P.

Curious Ones
People constantly keep asking you what is happening in your life. Not that they are really interested in you, but just to know how well or how bad you are doing when compared to them. If you give them a sad story you just made their day. If not, hell with you, you are my number one enemy.

Well-wishers
People want you to do good, but not better than them. They will help you in giving advise(only), quoting how well they are doing and give you hope that one day you can be them. But once you cross them, you are the number one on their Hit List.

Attention Seekers
To get people's attention they chronically lie( mostly trying to cover up for the lies that they have already told). Just telling stories from others lives as their own. These are harmless bunch, only harm they are doing is to themselves.

Followers
These act as if they are head over heels about you. They keep singing praises in front of you, not only to you but others around you. And the moment you turn your back they wish you were dead, propitiating bad news about you.

Don't we all become fools being a hypocrite? Don't we realize that the other person is not a fool enough to not see our hypocrisy? Aren't we living in a Fools Paradise disguising from our own self?

To A Friend

I enrolled for driving classes in 2008 when I booked my car. It was a crash course for 10 days for an hour per day. First seven classes were taught and later 3 classes were taught right before the driving license test. I did not have the car then. All I could practice was with the vehicle that was provided by driving school. Within 5 days I was racing. Instructor was so impressed. Managed to get driving license. And I was dying to get hands on my own car and thought I do not need rest of the 5 practice classes! How delusional!

On the first day I went to the showroom to get the car - I did not drive it. I was so scared! Eventually someone drove it for me and got caught for crossing the speeding limit but could get a ticket as there was no registration number yet. Totally, not so great memories of owning a car. That evening when I tried to drive back home, realized I did not know driving at all. There were vehicles coming from every possible direction as if no one was following traffic rules, especially two-wheelers. People were cursing me for driving dead slow and adding to the traffic jam. And heavy vehicles seemed to be coming for me, to crush me, to kill me. On top of it I did not want a scratch on my brand new car before I show it to my Mom. And road suddenly seemed shrunk to 1/4 of its width. What a horror it was!

It was so easy to drive when someone else was there to control. When someone else was sitting right next to you, whom you can blame or who would support you or who would rescue you from accidents. That day, I was all alone. I felt like leaving the car right in the middle of the road and run away. Away from driving it. After that my car was sitting in the basement of my office for 2 months. I still was going back home by a rick. And I regretted buying a car.

Few people at office tried to help me teach driving, but they gave up for lack of patience( not from my side). Well, in their defense, I knew only one gear - second. Even till date I don't honor the speed-breakers and their purpose. And then I asked this friend of mine Appy( Arpan Srivatsava) and we made a deal. Everyday I would drop him back to home. All he has to do was sit there next to me and be there. He was my actual (driving) teacher. He taught me how to drive. Not only on the road but in life. He has been my biggest support for many years when I needed it the most. He was my well-wisher whom I can count on anytime, blindly. These words that he told me many times, keeps echoing over and again - "You may be on the right track, and following all the rules, but the other person might not. But when an accident happens both of you are damaged. So keep looking out for not only your mistakes but others too and play smart". Likewise life is not fair but being prepared for it makes you win. How could someone so younger to me, know so much about life than I do?

He knew how to appreciate people, value them and most importantly cherish them. He left the company for higher studies and he has been working in a different city. But all these years he kept in touch and meets us once in an year in the month of December. Every single year. Even though I love friends and value them the most as a family, I find it hard to manage or meet them. It took 6 months to meet my best friend who lives 15 kms away. But this guy, living thousands of kms away he manages to meet all of his friends. Guess we need such people in our lives. Arpan is the third friend of mine who is mentioned in my blog( after Bindu & Shanthi).

Today am a happy person and I feel am lucky. Stronger. And a good driver[ ,in spite of the scientific data that says women are bad drivers cause they have bad reflexes]. I should thank him for bringing all these, plus the "Confidence" in me, which will stay for long...and hopefully forever.

It is impossible for me to wish you all the good things, without mentioning all the good/ best things that you taught me and be thankful for all of those. Wishing you and Pooja the best of everything on your wedding.

Wish I could share this post with you so that I can avoid bringing a gift to the wedding :-P. On a serious note I have trouble showing my appreciation, and the biggest victim of it is my dearest husband. So you are getting a gift but not this post. Can't wait to meet you and Pooja, and all other good old buddies...Happy Married Life. I am sure for a person like you Gods of All the Worlds will be with you and take care of you :).

Fall Of Gratitude

I stumbled upon this well known old mythological story of Bhasmasura and it really looked like an altogether a brand new story. How the same story can change with different perceptions.

Anyhoo, the story goes like this. Bhasmasura an asura wanted to be the most powerful and greatest of all the kings. But he lacked both the strength and courage to be so. So with Narada's advice he starts praying Lord Shiva. After many years Lord Shiva( also known as Bhola Shankar, one who gets carried away easily), pleased appears in front of Bhasmasura. Asura asks him to grant him immortality. When Lord Shiva says its not in his hands to do that, he asks for a power that if he touches anyone's head he would be burnt to ashes. Lord Shiva grants this boon to him. But wicked Bhasmasura with his eyes on Lord Shiva's wife Parvathi, tries to use his power on Shiva. Eventually he is saved by Lord Vishnu disguised as a beautiful woman Mohini. Bhasmasura so mesmerized by Mohini forgets his boons and places his hand on his own head, which burns him to ashes.

Well, little gratitude might have saved Bhasmasura. I strongly believe that a person who does not know what gratitude means deserves nothing. Absolute nothing. Why do people forget where they came from? How many hands they reached out to? If one cannot remember the path they tread from his/ her own life, how far can s/he go? I guess not so far! I tend not to be in debt or in obligation to anyone very cautiously for the same reason. For the fear that someday I like everyone,  might miss this, ignore everything/ everybody and gloat in my success thinking its all mine. After all, to err is human, but I am not a saint who would believe in that.

I think people really lost this gesture. They have become callous, that all the good things that happened to them are just because s/he is awesome. They just think they "deserve", that they are "entitled" or that they are "privileged". In spite of all those things that happen, they are never really happy.  They are nothing but ignorant and arrogant. Nice rhyming words :-p. They are so many other things apart from these.

On the contrary there are cases where one has to regret doing the good deed in the first place. My maid works in another apartment and they gave her kids brand new set of clothes on the occasion of Diwali. She comes to me and says "who knows what bad deeds they are trying to wash off by donating these clothes to us". Wow! Is "giving" so misinterpreted. This is a case where she does not think she or her kids "deserve" those new clothes but judges the giver. I am sure Lord Shiva might have had regrets too for granting the boon to the asura, well he is GOD and they have no such things. But I have had many situations where I regretted helping someone. Did I not establish already that am no saint and not expecting gratitude is not my thing. If expecting gratitude is one thing,  getting bitten for helping someone is another thing.

Is this a rant? A preaching? Or is it both? Whatever it is don't you think people out there "deserve" it?:-p. Can read the same on MouthShut.

Work Spouse

"Work Spouse" - I came across this word(s) or concept few years back in one of the episodes of "Grey's Anatomy". Though the fancy words amused me I thought its just a fictional concept in a fictional world. Not until I discovered that my husband has a work spouse and his name is "Seenu". He is so caught up with this guy, and talks so much to him, that even at home he addresses me "Seenu". Entertain your wits to guess what my response was to my husband when I was called "Seenu" ;-).

ADELE WEBBER What I want is for you to tell me the truth. Are you having an affair with my husband?

BAILEY I am not having an affair with your husband!

ADELE WEBBER I saw the way you handled him just now.

BAILEY Handled! I did not... handle... there was no handling... we work together.

ADELE WEBBER You spend every waking moment together, you finish each others sentences, you read each others minds. You're more married to that man than I am.

CALLIE Yeah, but that's just because they're husband and work-wife.

BAILEY Excuse me?

CALLIE The Chief's your work-husband and you're his work-wife. You look out for each other, you take care of each other, there's nothing wrong with it, it's like me and Sloan.

MARK Excuse me?

Anyways, so I started digging into this a little. And voila, there are so many articles mentioning this concept. Rules of having a work spouse, Risks and Rewards of having a work spouse and should I be jealous of my wife's work husband and such. You do not find the meaning for this phrase in usual dictionary, of course Urban Dictionary has everything. It seems this has been around since 1930's when a novel has this title. And which was later made a movie too. And such concepts only come out in public, in the west and though we do not admit I am damn sure such thing exists almost at every work place.

So what does a Work Spouse mean? It is a fancy term used to refer to a co-worker [ ,usually of the opposite sex], with whom an employee shares a close and platonic relationship. And this person can be the one with whom and only whom you go for lunch or coffee breaks, who looks out for you, advices you, a caretaker and a patient listener. This is the person you connect with , talk a lot to, relate to at par or better than that of your spouse at home.

Quoting from an article on the internet:

"Having someone you trust completely in the cubicle next door certainly has its advantages. That sort of close colleague may understand situations and anecdotes in a way your non-work friends or actual spouse may not.

It allows you to share and bounce ideas off somebody you trust," says Karsh, noting that someone with a work spouse may think twice before leaving that employer for a competitor because of the power of that relationship. "Coworkers are the unsung heroes of employee retention. "

Knowing the disadvantages of it, like say inappropriate sexual behavior, getting too personal and exclusive, being the office gossip am glad my husband's work spouse is of the same sex :-).

And studies have shown too that around 30% of people have work spouses. Wow! Like I said before there is a theory or an explanation to every possible thing on earth. If not a theory there is a fancy term.

Read the same on MouthShut.

Devious Maids

Also posted on MouthShut.

In the past eight months I have changed five maids. Yeah, each maid lasted less than 2 months on the average.

The first one.  I call her the Quite one. She is calm, does her work, minds her own business and hardly talks. Even when I try to strike a conversation with her. She does not complain of work either. She quit on her own as she was getting married. But she was damn good.Why do all good maids get married and go away?

Second - I call her the Demanding One.  I was damn frightened of her. She does not notice the days when there is absolutely no work, but sure she notices the days when there are guests and more work. Should I also complain of those days when she came and was done with her work in less than 20 mins? She took 17 days off in a month and yet complained that I do not let her go on leave during festivals. Yeah somehow she thought festivals days are those when I am supposed to clean the house and she is supposed to go on a vacation. On top of that, she had too many demands. A mobile, saree, etc all brand new. No she wont settle for any less. And yeah she had preference of brands for floor cleaner, dishwasher etc.

Third - I call her the Cat Lady. It was easy to let her go, as some stuff was disappearing every other day from my home. She was smart. Every week she used to take a day off, randomly. It would look like that. Some Mondays, some Fridays, some weekdays. Just one day in a week. And she made sure she was at work on weekends. Somehow no one noticed this ( including the other 7 apartments that she was working ). And the day she took off in each apartment was different. Eventually, I got to know her scheme from my discussions with fellow neighbors. Yet I did not mind. Cause a day in a busy week did not really matter as long as she came on weekends when I really cook at home. As long as she came back the next day the work did not get piled up. Till I noticed that my personal belongings were gone one fine day. And the next day she was fired.

Fourth, the Talkative one. This lady talks so much that it was a torture session for me everyday. She thinks I am her best buddy. And in the middle of all this sweet talk she would have evaded at least two chores that she is supposed to do. Basically this lady was way poor in standards when compared to other maids that I have ever had. I had to redo most of the work. And when questioned she very innocently says "no didi, this cannot be cleaned". And eventually I had to show her and do it myself. Does she learn? No, only I was getting tired of telling how to do her job. But she somehow created this emotional guiltiness within me that it was hard to fire her.

Yeah I did fire her as well. Firing...just saying it makes you feel powerful, isn't it?. Not true. It was awkward. Especially with the last one who somehow got my sympathy. Personal talks have THAT effect on you? I should probably try it at my work :-P ;-). To all of the maids that I fired( second, third and fourth) I lied. I did not tell them why exactly. I told all of them that different lies. Say I was going away for a while and will call you back when we are back, that I decided to do it on my own as its just two of us etc. Even with the maid that was stealing stuff from my house.


What does all this mean? That I make a good or bad boss?

Grandiose

Also posted on MouthShut.

I was reading this post with a funny yet curious title "Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy". What got the best of my curiosity are the words "Gen Y", "Unhappy". Somehow those two words in the same sentence was an oxymoron to me till I read this post.

Not quoting most of the post, am just rephrasing it here , Happiness = Reality - Expectations. Wow its THAT simple? An equation? That means you can work it out in favor of Happiness? True that many a times my expectations, ambitions seem like far from reality. Take for example winning MouthShut contests and being the first one since the contest started, to get ROD, FB and First ROD, makes me run a little longer and faster on the track of being a writer someday!

So why should one not think high? Aim high? Talk Big? Once owning a car was a big thing. Forget car, buying designer clothes was a big thing for me. Now all those seem so silly and not so great aspects of my life. So why not leap a little and dream BIG? Why should I really be worried that these plans might not work out?

I will tell you why. Most of the time, we live up to someone else's standards. All these social networking sites like Facebook give a bloated and grandiose life's of your friends, and half of them are lies. If someone is partying every other day then there seriously is some problem with that person, which is making his/ her life miserable and not worth living alone. I know many a people whose self-worth is defined by number of Like's and Comments they get on facebook. Guys go write, share your experiences, not in single words, nameless photos, status messages or emot icons. If you really want to share an experience write about it, talk about it, with a friend of yours who truly would be happy for you. I am more plugged in than I appear to be, but I prefer Quora to Facebook, MouthShut, Blogger to other social networking sites/ apps.

Secondly, SAS - Short Attention Span Syndrome. Yeah, yeah we all keep basking on these words "Follow Your Passion". But do we all truly know what our passion really is? Is it a passing fad or something very inherent in you? Is it based on your talent or your likes for it? It is easy to learn so many new skills these days - say cooking, photography etc. Buy a camera and you want to be a photographer. Buy a food processor and your a chef. All these can be hobbies. People really misunderstand between hobbies and passions. In times where keeping your attention is so hard, how can you keep your interests? Experiment everything but your passion will be something that you keep coming back to again and again. Even am not sure how to differentiate from my hobbies and passion(s).

Last, getting caught and sacrificing quality time with yourself does no good. Its a rat race at the end of it. Happiness is not an equation after all. All we care about is just winning, being better than someone else. In this generation there is an explanation for everything, if there is not an explanation then there is a fancy word to it. We are swamped with these theories, rules, equations, tags and at the end of it we are more confused if not happy.

Pasta with White Sauce

Ingredients:-

1. Cheese - 50 gms
2. Milk  - 200 ml
3. Corn Flour  - 2 tbsp
4. Butter - 50 gms
5. Pasta
6. Salt to taste
7. Olive Oil
8. Garlic
9. Onions 1
10. Peppers 1
11. Mushrooms
12. Pepper Powder

Preperation:-

1. Heat water with salt and 1/2 tbsp of oil. When it bubbles, add pasta to it.
2. Cook for 10-15 mins. Drain and run over cold water.
3. Heat Olive oil and add finely chopped garlic to it.
4. Add onions, peppers, Mushrooms. When saute keep them aside.
5. Heat butter in a pan. Add Corn flour and fry for 2 mins.
6. Add cheese and milk to this and cook with salt and pepper.
7. When this paste turns slightly thick add sauted veggies and pasta and cook for 2 mins.

Mirchi Bajji

Ingredients:-

1. Cumin Powder - 1/2 tbsp
2. Tamarind Pulp 2 tbsp
3. Sugar 1/4 tbsp or Jaggery
4. Salt to taste
5. Besan powder
6. Chillie Powder - 1/2 tbsp
7. Cooking Soda 1/4 tbsp
8. Oil
9. Banana Chillies - 6
10. Onions and Lemon for dressing

Preperation:-

1. For the stuffing mix cumin powder, salt, tamarind pulp and sugar and make a thick paste.
2. Cut banana chillies length wise and gently take off the seeds if any. Stuff these with the above paste.
3. Mix besan, chillie powder, salt and soda with water to make a think paste. You can add rice flour( 1 tbsp) to it as well.
4. Dip the stuffed chillies in this paste and fry them in boiling oil.
5. Dress them with sliced onions, lemon and cumin or pepper powder.

Jamie's Salad

I will name this recipe as Jamie's Salad, as I do not remember the recipe name. I watched this program "Jamies 15 mins" in TLC and guess why I love his program than other cooking shows( Nigellism, Exotic Everyday etc )? Cause you can cook awesome dishes just in 15 mins and he uses a lot of greens. Fresh, beautiful and delicious.

This salad that he prepared he used every possible greens and veggies that he could ever find plus smoked chicken and few exotic dressings. But I am limiting to these ingredients below:

1. Mayonnaise  4-5 tbsps
2. Fresh Sweet Corn - 1
3. Lettuce  - 200 gms
4. Carrots  - 250 gms
5. Cucumber - 2
6. Onions - 1
7. Pepper Powder - 2-3 tbps
8. Lemons (1)
9. Salt to taste
10. Yogurt  4-5 tbps
11. Pepper 1 red + 1 green

Dressing:-

1.  Add lemon juice to 4-5 tbsps of Mayonnaise. I llloooove American Garden Eggless
   
   Mayonnaise.
2. Add salt, pepper powder and yogurt to the above mix and your dressing is ready. If required you can add chilli flakes as well.

Preperation:-

1. Heat fresh corn on low flame for 5-7 mins. Take a knife and chop the sides, an easy to way to separate the corns.
2. Slice onions, peppers, lettuce, carrots, cucumber.
3. Mix all the above ingredients with the dressing.

Sear Fish Fry

I used to hate sea food. For the smell and for the fact that no matter with what you cook it does not catch the flavor. Well I was wrong till we visited this place "Grill Maximus" at HSR Layout, Bangalore. You get the best fish dishes here( Fish fingers, Fish and Chips, Grilled Fish). So we thought why not get used to eating fish food too. After all it is supposed to be a healthy food.

Yeah another reason why we were away from fish were those tiny small irritating bones that get caught in your throat. So we went to meat shop and asked for a fish that has no bones. And the guy suggested Sear Fish. Later we learnt that Sear Fish has the highest fat content :-(.

Anyways my first trial at cooking fish was a grand success. Here's the recipe, not a recipe really. I follow Nigella who cooks with all canned, and read-made stuff. So you get these fish fry masala in stores. Just Marinate with it and fry the fish over. Well, "documenting" the same,

Ingredients:-

1. Sear Fish - 500 gms
2. Fish Fry Masala
3. Lemon juice
4. Salt to taste
5. Oil to fry

Preperation:-

1. If you ask the meat shop guy to chop the fish for fry he will nicely slice it into thin pieces. With Sear fish you don't have to clean and no messy stuff at home at all.
2. Add 1 full lemon's juice, fish fry masala pack and marinate the fish for 1/2 hr.
3. You can add salt per your preference. 
4. Heat oil in a pan. I used Olive oil. And fry these pieces on medium heat.

Aloo Palak with Broccoli

Ingredients:-

1. Potatoes   - 200 gms
2. Broccoli   - 200 gms
3. Palak        - 2  big bunch
4. Tomatoe   150 gms
5. Onions     1
6. Garlic  - 4-5 cloves
7. Chillie Powder - 2 tbps
8. Coriander Powder - 1 tbsp
9. Garam Masal  - 1/2 tbsp
10. Ginger Garlic Paste 1 tbsp
11. Salt to taste
12. Oil

Preparation:-

1. Slice Broccoli and potatoe and boil them with salt.
2. Once they are boiled, drain and run them over cold water. This keeps the green color of broccoli.
3. Heat water with salt. Take a big bowl add spinach leaves to it and pour the boiling hot water over them. Cover this bowl for 5 mins so that the leaves get cooked.
4. Drain the water. Grind this into paste with garlic cloves.
5. Heat pan, add oil.
6. Fry sliced onions and when brown, add ginger-garlic paste.
7. Add sliced tomatoes and cook till tomatoes soften.
8. Add poatoes, broccoli and spinach paste to this.
9. Add Chillie powder, coriander powder and salt if required and cook for 5 mins.
10. Add garama masala at the end and cook for 1-2 mins.
11. Serve with pulka :-)
    
    
    

Pumpkin Curry

Ingredients:-

1. Pumpkin - 500gms
2. Onions -1
3. Red Dry Chillie 2
4. Curry Leaves 6-8
5. Mustard Seeds 1/4tbsp
6. Turmeric - pinch
7. Chillie Powder 2 tbps
8. Coriander Powder 1 tbsp
9. Amchoor Powder 1/2 tbsp
10. Salt to taste
11. Oil

 

Preperation:-

1. Peel the hard skin off the pumpkin. Chop them into small cubes,
2. Heat Oil. Add mustard seeds to it. When they splutter, add dry chillie, curry leaves and slices onions.
3. When onions on translucent add pumpkin cubes. 
4. Add rest of the spices and boil by adding enough water for the pumpkin to cook.
5. When pumpkin is cooked add Amchoor powder and cook for 5 mins.

Pumpkin Halwa

Ingredients:-

1. Pumpkin - 750 gms
2. Sugar      - 400 gms
3. Ghee      - 100 gms
4. Cashews - 50 gms
5. Raisins  - 50 gms
6. Ilachi pods  - 5
7. Milk - 3 tbsps

Preperation:-

1. Grate pumpkin after peeling the skin off.
2. Heat ghee in a pan and roast cashews and raisins.
3. Add grated pumpkin and milk and cook till pumpkin gets soft.
4. When pumpkin is cooked add sugar and ilachi powder.
5. Serve cold.
   

Egg and Drumsticks Leaves

Ingredients:-

1. Drumsticks leaves - 200 gms
2. Eggs - 4
3. Onions 2
4. Dry red chillie - 2
5. Green chillie - 6
6. Curry leaves 4-6
7. Mustard Seeds
8. Garlic pods 4
9. Salt to taste
10. Oil

Preperation:-

1. Boil drumstick leaves in water with salt. When they are 3/4 cooked drain the water and keep aside.
2. Heat oil in a pan and add mustard seeds for seasoning.
3. Add finely chopped onions, curry leaves, green chillies, red chillies, garlic and fry them till onions are golden brown.
4. Add eggs and fry for 3 mins.
5. Add leaves to the same and fry till the mixture gets dry.
6. Can be served with rice or chapathi.

Everyone Needs A Superhero

What a way to start a week? Made my day, a monday - My Blog got featured again. This post deserves getting featured than all of my other posts. I was a little disappointed when one of my latest post got featured but not this one. I thought it got all lost, and will be a history. There you go I do can pick controversial topics too and get rewarded for it than criticized. I do want to write a lot not just on usual stuff but burning matters, say the current situation in AP, the division of states etc. But always chose to play safe! May be this gives me an encouragement to give my opinions, views( when did I turn into an introvert from being an opinionated person? ). Did I change? When? How? Why? :-P

That was enough drama! :-P

So right now what is getting to my nerves is the situation in Andra Pradesh. In what minds was Sonia and her Party were, when they decided to divide the state into two? Were they so wasted when they took this decision? Why the hell should there be two states talking the same language, with same culture, but as two different entities? For generations now, these two states will always be rivals. They divided the state just for political reasons? I feel so helpless and confused with situations like these. And to top it up the strikes. There have been no schools, no transportation( road) services since months now. And now electricity board is on strike too.

Who is suffering cause of all this? Common people. My 80 year old grandmother and my Mother-in-law who needs regular health check-ups could not go see a doctor cause of these strikes. My sister's 2 months old baby is suffering cause of umpteen inconveniences  these strikes are causing. What happens to children's education if the schools stop teaching for more than 3 months? Would they postpone board exams too? Aren't they losing valuable time in their education? Is this how people chose to fight back? By not providing the services to their own people?

I for once feel violence is better than these cold wars. Let all those hot-headed men/ women fight to death and end this rather than months or years of these useless losers wars which only troubles common people than winning anything! Should I be happy that I no more live in a state like that? Should I be sorry that I am from such a state? Should I be worried that someday even this state that I live in, might get into such pitiable state?

Suppose I was living in such situations would I be sitting like this and ranting away on the internet? Can I do something? Will I? My hot-head sure says to do something. But would I really go ahead and do it? It is easy to say, but not so easy to actually do it. We always want that "someone" else who would fight for us, who would win battles for us.  Everyone needs a superhero, but no one wants to be one. Well, at least now, I do know what is happening to AP. It is looking for "The Dark Knight" to rise and save it.

I keep watching these Super-hero movies over and over. Every time they are played on TV. Every time! And I get goosebumps each time watching these hero's. All these politicians like Jagan, have so much money, so much power so if they really want to save the world why not be a super-hero, rather than a politician? Why to get into messy politics and become a victim instead? Choose your own way of fighting, choose your own battle field, and play your own game?

You can read my rantings here as well.