Showing posts with label Vinod. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vinod. Show all posts

Monday, February 11, 2013

Love Is In The Air

Your heart flutters. Your head spins. You go dizzy. Only thing you can see is his face and only thing you can hear is your name from his mouth. You are spell bound under his magic that sweeps you off the ground.

                   This is what I learnt from all the romantic novels, movies. Things that happen to you when you meet "The One", for the first time. Did I spend my whole life looking for these signs? God no! I met Vinod exactly an year back on this day and none of this happened to me.

All that I felt on that day was - Comfort. I was in absolute ease with myself in his presence. May be I(my heart) already knew. Yeah being filmy again. All the questions I had, just ran out of the back door of my mind. It was as if we knew each other( well again, not from past lifes, like they say in the books/ movies :-p). Its just a feeling of familiarity.
                                   
                                     I never believed in that Love just happens in an instance. It grows on you. I am sure you would not have started loving your own sibling on day one. I remember hating my siblings till I was...ummm,  well old enough to get out of college. I wanted to be the only one to my parents. I hated sharing everything with them. I wanted the entire world I knew just to myself. I still don't understand when I started liking them and caring for them. I still don't know if I do it cause of the same genes in our blood or cause of having lived together for many years. Actually we started caring for each other only when we started living away from home, from each other.

                                                                                         Coming to romantic love that happens between opposite sex, especially in arranged marriages - I think people try to adjust, compromise, sacrifice to stay together, not out of love but cause of the promises made. Be it to each other, to the family, to the society. As if it is a bond never to be broken, if broken they are shunned by everyone around them. Few eventually give up trying to keep the promises and few succumb. To talk about love marriages - they are no different from arranged marriages. The story just begins a bit early, that is the only difference.

I am neither a modern nor a traditional woman.  At times I am so dumb that I cry while watching a romantic movie and at times I am as adamant that I can drive people around me crazy, that they start to hate me( not for a long time though ;-) ). Amidst my wavering personalities,  I do stand firmly on few  - "Sacrifice" should never be the pretext to love. Respect is an important aspect of a healthy relation and Comfort is the most important factor. And the rest will flow...in time, with time.

It's Valentines Week and Love is everywhere. Looking back this time last year, I attended one of my colleague kids birthday party. I went alone to that event and for the first time I did not wanted to be a bachelor anymore and I too wanted to go with someone. And since then I have never been alone and thanks to Vinod for that, for coming into my life.



Monday, May 21, 2012

What Did I Miss?

I was just away for a week from my routine life and what did I miss? Absolutely nothing! Well I was away for my own marriage. A life changing event that is supposed to be. I thought so much would change when am back. So much would have happened when am gone. I expected my life to change drastically...but right now, my life is same as what it was before with Vinod back in Mumbai. As still and steady as before. Work is the same. People are the same. Life is still the same. May be I would start seeing changes when we start living together. People think there are changes in me...but let them fantasize with that idea. And they look at me differently, expecting a change, yet I don't see the change! Or like everything else in my life, me being a slow reactor it might take some more time or not! So right now am a married woman yet as free as a single can be. How I look at myself is as a person who is in a long distance uncommitted(?) relationship.


What I dearly missed though, all these days are a small(?) part of my routine life - books, movies and TV series. Lexie dying in Grey's Anatomy, Bernadette and Wolowitz's sweet little romantic wedding on rooftop that was on Google Earth.

Really? Is this what I miss? Was my life before so shallow? But honestly I was so happy without any attachments or expectations. Life was so easy, smooth and comfortable. So planned. Everything was so perfectly in my control. But now! I am afraid am going back to those depths of insanity again...expecting, depending, missing. I hope not. I am strong. I am sane. I am fine.

As always, stupid me over-thinking!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Drafts

I wanted to make an entry on this blog on March 11th the day I officially committed to share my life with Vinod, but thought otherwise as I had so much to write and did not know how to say all that. And two more entries for the movie "A Separation" and the book " Before I go To Sleep". Like always say, someday!

Pelli Pustakam


Thursday, March 22, 2012

For The One In My Life

Been happy, been sad and boy have I grown
Taking every step all alone
Lost my mind and felt left behind
Never did I believe that I would be found again


You in my life is something new
I wonder if all that I feel is really true
Shady and crazy that I may sound
But will be glad to have every emotion with you around


Marriage and vows are to me, just words
All I believe is in you, me and us
While I miss you here, I see coming years
With a Life that is filled with dreams and hopes

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Falling In Love

I don't know why I thought I would never fall in love. I don't know why I thought love cannot happen in case of arranged marriages. Because am contradicting myself. Am falling in love. With a stranger I met exactly 10 days back. A stranger with whom I would be sharing the rest of my life. Magic does happen when you let it happen to you. I thought I could not respect this person, could not love him passionately enough. But every time I talk to him I feel small. Small in terms of age. I am growing younger with each talk. I feel like a child. Protected. Adored. I never knew I would like the idea of someone owning me. 

On one side I hate myself for being this girl who is all  fluttery about love, marriage blah blah. On one side I like the silly me. For once I would like to let my hairs down and enjoy being stupid, gooey. I hope to have my feet firm on the ground so that I don't fall flat on my face. Even if I fall I know there is someone to catch me ;-)