Fall Of Gratitude

I stumbled upon this well known old mythological story of Bhasmasura and it really looked like an altogether a brand new story. How the same story can change with different perceptions.

Anyhoo, the story goes like this. Bhasmasura an asura wanted to be the most powerful and greatest of all the kings. But he lacked both the strength and courage to be so. So with Narada's advice he starts praying Lord Shiva. After many years Lord Shiva( also known as Bhola Shankar, one who gets carried away easily), pleased appears in front of Bhasmasura. Asura asks him to grant him immortality. When Lord Shiva says its not in his hands to do that, he asks for a power that if he touches anyone's head he would be burnt to ashes. Lord Shiva grants this boon to him. But wicked Bhasmasura with his eyes on Lord Shiva's wife Parvathi, tries to use his power on Shiva. Eventually he is saved by Lord Vishnu disguised as a beautiful woman Mohini. Bhasmasura so mesmerized by Mohini forgets his boons and places his hand on his own head, which burns him to ashes.

Well, little gratitude might have saved Bhasmasura. I strongly believe that a person who does not know what gratitude means deserves nothing. Absolute nothing. Why do people forget where they came from? How many hands they reached out to? If one cannot remember the path they tread from his/ her own life, how far can s/he go? I guess not so far! I tend not to be in debt or in obligation to anyone very cautiously for the same reason. For the fear that someday I like everyone,  might miss this, ignore everything/ everybody and gloat in my success thinking its all mine. After all, to err is human, but I am not a saint who would believe in that.

I think people really lost this gesture. They have become callous, that all the good things that happened to them are just because s/he is awesome. They just think they "deserve", that they are "entitled" or that they are "privileged". In spite of all those things that happen, they are never really happy.  They are nothing but ignorant and arrogant. Nice rhyming words :-p. They are so many other things apart from these.

On the contrary there are cases where one has to regret doing the good deed in the first place. My maid works in another apartment and they gave her kids brand new set of clothes on the occasion of Diwali. She comes to me and says "who knows what bad deeds they are trying to wash off by donating these clothes to us". Wow! Is "giving" so misinterpreted. This is a case where she does not think she or her kids "deserve" those new clothes but judges the giver. I am sure Lord Shiva might have had regrets too for granting the boon to the asura, well he is GOD and they have no such things. But I have had many situations where I regretted helping someone. Did I not establish already that am no saint and not expecting gratitude is not my thing. If expecting gratitude is one thing,  getting bitten for helping someone is another thing.

Is this a rant? A preaching? Or is it both? Whatever it is don't you think people out there "deserve" it?:-p. Can read the same on MouthShut.

Work Spouse

"Work Spouse" - I came across this word(s) or concept few years back in one of the episodes of "Grey's Anatomy". Though the fancy words amused me I thought its just a fictional concept in a fictional world. Not until I discovered that my husband has a work spouse and his name is "Seenu". He is so caught up with this guy, and talks so much to him, that even at home he addresses me "Seenu". Entertain your wits to guess what my response was to my husband when I was called "Seenu" ;-).

ADELE WEBBER What I want is for you to tell me the truth. Are you having an affair with my husband?

BAILEY I am not having an affair with your husband!

ADELE WEBBER I saw the way you handled him just now.

BAILEY Handled! I did not... handle... there was no handling... we work together.

ADELE WEBBER You spend every waking moment together, you finish each others sentences, you read each others minds. You're more married to that man than I am.

CALLIE Yeah, but that's just because they're husband and work-wife.

BAILEY Excuse me?

CALLIE The Chief's your work-husband and you're his work-wife. You look out for each other, you take care of each other, there's nothing wrong with it, it's like me and Sloan.

MARK Excuse me?

Anyways, so I started digging into this a little. And voila, there are so many articles mentioning this concept. Rules of having a work spouse, Risks and Rewards of having a work spouse and should I be jealous of my wife's work husband and such. You do not find the meaning for this phrase in usual dictionary, of course Urban Dictionary has everything. It seems this has been around since 1930's when a novel has this title. And which was later made a movie too. And such concepts only come out in public, in the west and though we do not admit I am damn sure such thing exists almost at every work place.

So what does a Work Spouse mean? It is a fancy term used to refer to a co-worker [ ,usually of the opposite sex], with whom an employee shares a close and platonic relationship. And this person can be the one with whom and only whom you go for lunch or coffee breaks, who looks out for you, advices you, a caretaker and a patient listener. This is the person you connect with , talk a lot to, relate to at par or better than that of your spouse at home.

Quoting from an article on the internet:

"Having someone you trust completely in the cubicle next door certainly has its advantages. That sort of close colleague may understand situations and anecdotes in a way your non-work friends or actual spouse may not.

It allows you to share and bounce ideas off somebody you trust," says Karsh, noting that someone with a work spouse may think twice before leaving that employer for a competitor because of the power of that relationship. "Coworkers are the unsung heroes of employee retention. "

Knowing the disadvantages of it, like say inappropriate sexual behavior, getting too personal and exclusive, being the office gossip am glad my husband's work spouse is of the same sex :-).

And studies have shown too that around 30% of people have work spouses. Wow! Like I said before there is a theory or an explanation to every possible thing on earth. If not a theory there is a fancy term.

Read the same on MouthShut.

Devious Maids

Also posted on MouthShut.

In the past eight months I have changed five maids. Yeah, each maid lasted less than 2 months on the average.

The first one.  I call her the Quite one. She is calm, does her work, minds her own business and hardly talks. Even when I try to strike a conversation with her. She does not complain of work either. She quit on her own as she was getting married. But she was damn good.Why do all good maids get married and go away?

Second - I call her the Demanding One.  I was damn frightened of her. She does not notice the days when there is absolutely no work, but sure she notices the days when there are guests and more work. Should I also complain of those days when she came and was done with her work in less than 20 mins? She took 17 days off in a month and yet complained that I do not let her go on leave during festivals. Yeah somehow she thought festivals days are those when I am supposed to clean the house and she is supposed to go on a vacation. On top of that, she had too many demands. A mobile, saree, etc all brand new. No she wont settle for any less. And yeah she had preference of brands for floor cleaner, dishwasher etc.

Third - I call her the Cat Lady. It was easy to let her go, as some stuff was disappearing every other day from my home. She was smart. Every week she used to take a day off, randomly. It would look like that. Some Mondays, some Fridays, some weekdays. Just one day in a week. And she made sure she was at work on weekends. Somehow no one noticed this ( including the other 7 apartments that she was working ). And the day she took off in each apartment was different. Eventually, I got to know her scheme from my discussions with fellow neighbors. Yet I did not mind. Cause a day in a busy week did not really matter as long as she came on weekends when I really cook at home. As long as she came back the next day the work did not get piled up. Till I noticed that my personal belongings were gone one fine day. And the next day she was fired.

Fourth, the Talkative one. This lady talks so much that it was a torture session for me everyday. She thinks I am her best buddy. And in the middle of all this sweet talk she would have evaded at least two chores that she is supposed to do. Basically this lady was way poor in standards when compared to other maids that I have ever had. I had to redo most of the work. And when questioned she very innocently says "no didi, this cannot be cleaned". And eventually I had to show her and do it myself. Does she learn? No, only I was getting tired of telling how to do her job. But she somehow created this emotional guiltiness within me that it was hard to fire her.

Yeah I did fire her as well. Firing...just saying it makes you feel powerful, isn't it?. Not true. It was awkward. Especially with the last one who somehow got my sympathy. Personal talks have THAT effect on you? I should probably try it at my work :-P ;-). To all of the maids that I fired( second, third and fourth) I lied. I did not tell them why exactly. I told all of them that different lies. Say I was going away for a while and will call you back when we are back, that I decided to do it on my own as its just two of us etc. Even with the maid that was stealing stuff from my house.


What does all this mean? That I make a good or bad boss?

Grandiose

Also posted on MouthShut.

I was reading this post with a funny yet curious title "Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy". What got the best of my curiosity are the words "Gen Y", "Unhappy". Somehow those two words in the same sentence was an oxymoron to me till I read this post.

Not quoting most of the post, am just rephrasing it here , Happiness = Reality - Expectations. Wow its THAT simple? An equation? That means you can work it out in favor of Happiness? True that many a times my expectations, ambitions seem like far from reality. Take for example winning MouthShut contests and being the first one since the contest started, to get ROD, FB and First ROD, makes me run a little longer and faster on the track of being a writer someday!

So why should one not think high? Aim high? Talk Big? Once owning a car was a big thing. Forget car, buying designer clothes was a big thing for me. Now all those seem so silly and not so great aspects of my life. So why not leap a little and dream BIG? Why should I really be worried that these plans might not work out?

I will tell you why. Most of the time, we live up to someone else's standards. All these social networking sites like Facebook give a bloated and grandiose life's of your friends, and half of them are lies. If someone is partying every other day then there seriously is some problem with that person, which is making his/ her life miserable and not worth living alone. I know many a people whose self-worth is defined by number of Like's and Comments they get on facebook. Guys go write, share your experiences, not in single words, nameless photos, status messages or emot icons. If you really want to share an experience write about it, talk about it, with a friend of yours who truly would be happy for you. I am more plugged in than I appear to be, but I prefer Quora to Facebook, MouthShut, Blogger to other social networking sites/ apps.

Secondly, SAS - Short Attention Span Syndrome. Yeah, yeah we all keep basking on these words "Follow Your Passion". But do we all truly know what our passion really is? Is it a passing fad or something very inherent in you? Is it based on your talent or your likes for it? It is easy to learn so many new skills these days - say cooking, photography etc. Buy a camera and you want to be a photographer. Buy a food processor and your a chef. All these can be hobbies. People really misunderstand between hobbies and passions. In times where keeping your attention is so hard, how can you keep your interests? Experiment everything but your passion will be something that you keep coming back to again and again. Even am not sure how to differentiate from my hobbies and passion(s).

Last, getting caught and sacrificing quality time with yourself does no good. Its a rat race at the end of it. Happiness is not an equation after all. All we care about is just winning, being better than someone else. In this generation there is an explanation for everything, if there is not an explanation then there is a fancy word to it. We are swamped with these theories, rules, equations, tags and at the end of it we are more confused if not happy.

Pasta with White Sauce

Ingredients:-

1. Cheese - 50 gms
2. Milk  - 200 ml
3. Corn Flour  - 2 tbsp
4. Butter - 50 gms
5. Pasta
6. Salt to taste
7. Olive Oil
8. Garlic
9. Onions 1
10. Peppers 1
11. Mushrooms
12. Pepper Powder

Preperation:-

1. Heat water with salt and 1/2 tbsp of oil. When it bubbles, add pasta to it.
2. Cook for 10-15 mins. Drain and run over cold water.
3. Heat Olive oil and add finely chopped garlic to it.
4. Add onions, peppers, Mushrooms. When saute keep them aside.
5. Heat butter in a pan. Add Corn flour and fry for 2 mins.
6. Add cheese and milk to this and cook with salt and pepper.
7. When this paste turns slightly thick add sauted veggies and pasta and cook for 2 mins.

Mirchi Bajji

Ingredients:-

1. Cumin Powder - 1/2 tbsp
2. Tamarind Pulp 2 tbsp
3. Sugar 1/4 tbsp or Jaggery
4. Salt to taste
5. Besan powder
6. Chillie Powder - 1/2 tbsp
7. Cooking Soda 1/4 tbsp
8. Oil
9. Banana Chillies - 6
10. Onions and Lemon for dressing

Preperation:-

1. For the stuffing mix cumin powder, salt, tamarind pulp and sugar and make a thick paste.
2. Cut banana chillies length wise and gently take off the seeds if any. Stuff these with the above paste.
3. Mix besan, chillie powder, salt and soda with water to make a think paste. You can add rice flour( 1 tbsp) to it as well.
4. Dip the stuffed chillies in this paste and fry them in boiling oil.
5. Dress them with sliced onions, lemon and cumin or pepper powder.

Jamie's Salad

I will name this recipe as Jamie's Salad, as I do not remember the recipe name. I watched this program "Jamies 15 mins" in TLC and guess why I love his program than other cooking shows( Nigellism, Exotic Everyday etc )? Cause you can cook awesome dishes just in 15 mins and he uses a lot of greens. Fresh, beautiful and delicious.

This salad that he prepared he used every possible greens and veggies that he could ever find plus smoked chicken and few exotic dressings. But I am limiting to these ingredients below:

1. Mayonnaise  4-5 tbsps
2. Fresh Sweet Corn - 1
3. Lettuce  - 200 gms
4. Carrots  - 250 gms
5. Cucumber - 2
6. Onions - 1
7. Pepper Powder - 2-3 tbps
8. Lemons (1)
9. Salt to taste
10. Yogurt  4-5 tbps
11. Pepper 1 red + 1 green

Dressing:-

1.  Add lemon juice to 4-5 tbsps of Mayonnaise. I llloooove American Garden Eggless
   
   Mayonnaise.
2. Add salt, pepper powder and yogurt to the above mix and your dressing is ready. If required you can add chilli flakes as well.

Preperation:-

1. Heat fresh corn on low flame for 5-7 mins. Take a knife and chop the sides, an easy to way to separate the corns.
2. Slice onions, peppers, lettuce, carrots, cucumber.
3. Mix all the above ingredients with the dressing.

Sear Fish Fry

I used to hate sea food. For the smell and for the fact that no matter with what you cook it does not catch the flavor. Well I was wrong till we visited this place "Grill Maximus" at HSR Layout, Bangalore. You get the best fish dishes here( Fish fingers, Fish and Chips, Grilled Fish). So we thought why not get used to eating fish food too. After all it is supposed to be a healthy food.

Yeah another reason why we were away from fish were those tiny small irritating bones that get caught in your throat. So we went to meat shop and asked for a fish that has no bones. And the guy suggested Sear Fish. Later we learnt that Sear Fish has the highest fat content :-(.

Anyways my first trial at cooking fish was a grand success. Here's the recipe, not a recipe really. I follow Nigella who cooks with all canned, and read-made stuff. So you get these fish fry masala in stores. Just Marinate with it and fry the fish over. Well, "documenting" the same,

Ingredients:-

1. Sear Fish - 500 gms
2. Fish Fry Masala
3. Lemon juice
4. Salt to taste
5. Oil to fry

Preperation:-

1. If you ask the meat shop guy to chop the fish for fry he will nicely slice it into thin pieces. With Sear fish you don't have to clean and no messy stuff at home at all.
2. Add 1 full lemon's juice, fish fry masala pack and marinate the fish for 1/2 hr.
3. You can add salt per your preference. 
4. Heat oil in a pan. I used Olive oil. And fry these pieces on medium heat.

Aloo Palak with Broccoli

Ingredients:-

1. Potatoes   - 200 gms
2. Broccoli   - 200 gms
3. Palak        - 2  big bunch
4. Tomatoe   150 gms
5. Onions     1
6. Garlic  - 4-5 cloves
7. Chillie Powder - 2 tbps
8. Coriander Powder - 1 tbsp
9. Garam Masal  - 1/2 tbsp
10. Ginger Garlic Paste 1 tbsp
11. Salt to taste
12. Oil

Preparation:-

1. Slice Broccoli and potatoe and boil them with salt.
2. Once they are boiled, drain and run them over cold water. This keeps the green color of broccoli.
3. Heat water with salt. Take a big bowl add spinach leaves to it and pour the boiling hot water over them. Cover this bowl for 5 mins so that the leaves get cooked.
4. Drain the water. Grind this into paste with garlic cloves.
5. Heat pan, add oil.
6. Fry sliced onions and when brown, add ginger-garlic paste.
7. Add sliced tomatoes and cook till tomatoes soften.
8. Add poatoes, broccoli and spinach paste to this.
9. Add Chillie powder, coriander powder and salt if required and cook for 5 mins.
10. Add garama masala at the end and cook for 1-2 mins.
11. Serve with pulka :-)
    
    
    

Pumpkin Curry

Ingredients:-

1. Pumpkin - 500gms
2. Onions -1
3. Red Dry Chillie 2
4. Curry Leaves 6-8
5. Mustard Seeds 1/4tbsp
6. Turmeric - pinch
7. Chillie Powder 2 tbps
8. Coriander Powder 1 tbsp
9. Amchoor Powder 1/2 tbsp
10. Salt to taste
11. Oil

 

Preperation:-

1. Peel the hard skin off the pumpkin. Chop them into small cubes,
2. Heat Oil. Add mustard seeds to it. When they splutter, add dry chillie, curry leaves and slices onions.
3. When onions on translucent add pumpkin cubes. 
4. Add rest of the spices and boil by adding enough water for the pumpkin to cook.
5. When pumpkin is cooked add Amchoor powder and cook for 5 mins.

Pumpkin Halwa

Ingredients:-

1. Pumpkin - 750 gms
2. Sugar      - 400 gms
3. Ghee      - 100 gms
4. Cashews - 50 gms
5. Raisins  - 50 gms
6. Ilachi pods  - 5
7. Milk - 3 tbsps

Preperation:-

1. Grate pumpkin after peeling the skin off.
2. Heat ghee in a pan and roast cashews and raisins.
3. Add grated pumpkin and milk and cook till pumpkin gets soft.
4. When pumpkin is cooked add sugar and ilachi powder.
5. Serve cold.
   

Egg and Drumsticks Leaves

Ingredients:-

1. Drumsticks leaves - 200 gms
2. Eggs - 4
3. Onions 2
4. Dry red chillie - 2
5. Green chillie - 6
6. Curry leaves 4-6
7. Mustard Seeds
8. Garlic pods 4
9. Salt to taste
10. Oil

Preperation:-

1. Boil drumstick leaves in water with salt. When they are 3/4 cooked drain the water and keep aside.
2. Heat oil in a pan and add mustard seeds for seasoning.
3. Add finely chopped onions, curry leaves, green chillies, red chillies, garlic and fry them till onions are golden brown.
4. Add eggs and fry for 3 mins.
5. Add leaves to the same and fry till the mixture gets dry.
6. Can be served with rice or chapathi.

Everyone Needs A Superhero

What a way to start a week? Made my day, a monday - My Blog got featured again. This post deserves getting featured than all of my other posts. I was a little disappointed when one of my latest post got featured but not this one. I thought it got all lost, and will be a history. There you go I do can pick controversial topics too and get rewarded for it than criticized. I do want to write a lot not just on usual stuff but burning matters, say the current situation in AP, the division of states etc. But always chose to play safe! May be this gives me an encouragement to give my opinions, views( when did I turn into an introvert from being an opinionated person? ). Did I change? When? How? Why? :-P

That was enough drama! :-P

So right now what is getting to my nerves is the situation in Andra Pradesh. In what minds was Sonia and her Party were, when they decided to divide the state into two? Were they so wasted when they took this decision? Why the hell should there be two states talking the same language, with same culture, but as two different entities? For generations now, these two states will always be rivals. They divided the state just for political reasons? I feel so helpless and confused with situations like these. And to top it up the strikes. There have been no schools, no transportation( road) services since months now. And now electricity board is on strike too.

Who is suffering cause of all this? Common people. My 80 year old grandmother and my Mother-in-law who needs regular health check-ups could not go see a doctor cause of these strikes. My sister's 2 months old baby is suffering cause of umpteen inconveniences  these strikes are causing. What happens to children's education if the schools stop teaching for more than 3 months? Would they postpone board exams too? Aren't they losing valuable time in their education? Is this how people chose to fight back? By not providing the services to their own people?

I for once feel violence is better than these cold wars. Let all those hot-headed men/ women fight to death and end this rather than months or years of these useless losers wars which only troubles common people than winning anything! Should I be happy that I no more live in a state like that? Should I be sorry that I am from such a state? Should I be worried that someday even this state that I live in, might get into such pitiable state?

Suppose I was living in such situations would I be sitting like this and ranting away on the internet? Can I do something? Will I? My hot-head sure says to do something. But would I really go ahead and do it? It is easy to say, but not so easy to actually do it. We always want that "someone" else who would fight for us, who would win battles for us.  Everyone needs a superhero, but no one wants to be one. Well, at least now, I do know what is happening to AP. It is looking for "The Dark Knight" to rise and save it.

I keep watching these Super-hero movies over and over. Every time they are played on TV. Every time! And I get goosebumps each time watching these hero's. All these politicians like Jagan, have so much money, so much power so if they really want to save the world why not be a super-hero, rather than a politician? Why to get into messy politics and become a victim instead? Choose your own way of fighting, choose your own battle field, and play your own game?

You can read my rantings here as well.

The User Illusion by Tor Norretrandes - A Book Review

Also posted on MouthShut. 

Is human a conscious, rational being? Can we explain everything that happens to us or around us? Are all our (re)actions, decisions, choices in life done consciously? One would be taken aback if I were( sorry if the author and the science) to tell you that Consciousness plays hardly any role in our lives.

"To be aware of an experience means that it has passed"

How do you explain dreams? Am sure all of us would have at least one dream that came true. Not day dreams, but dreams - things that we saw, felt or perceived when we were asleep - unconscious. How do you explain that?  How about De Ja Vu? What about the first impressions that we frame of people? Without knowing a thing about a person, what is it that tells us about the person that lets you perceive and frame an impression? When we see a thing or place, how much of it is from our memory or from first hand perception?

"The least interesting aspect of good conversation is what is actually said. What is more interesting is all the deliberations and emotions that take place simultaneously"

Why are we so good are doing automated, repeated tasks, say driving/ cycling? Are we consciously driving all the time? All these automated tasks are best done when we are unaware/ unconscious. The moment we become conscious, we in fact falter( that is what happens when we are under pressure ). Say if you were to consciously speak in a foreign language that you recently learnt, you would fumble.

"The words are merely references to something not present"

Sleepwalking, Blindsight, Love at first Sight,  and many more things are really not results of consciousness. All these happen without your conscious. You are conscious of only the problem and the solution, but the process of arriving at solution is not through conscious. That is consciousness is only an implementer, there is something else, a silent, hidden observer that really is taking decisions. In effect consciousness is discarded/ filtered information, that is important to you. But the filtering is not done by consciousness. If things were so simple, Artificial Intelligence could have handed over mental activities from human to machines. No machine is as intelligent as a man is. All they are good at is "Computation".

"It is not what we say to each other every day that establishes all the meaning and beauty and truth, it is everything we think before we speak"

Well that is a load of information or processed discarded information? Too many questions. I happened to stumble upon this book through Quora. I was following a post on a lazy day and many mentioned how insightful this book "The User Illusion" by  Tor Norretrandes is. And happened to get hands on this book in a completely unexpected way. This books is very intriguing, though at times it gets into too much theory, science and even history. The book is divided into four parts - Computation, Communication, Consciousness and Composure. First two chapters are tough to get through. Many a times it was too much for me to read or process all that data. The author tries to explain about consciousness from different scientific fields - Thermodynamics, Information Theory, Psychology, Chaos Theory etc. This is where he walks us through the history of science and how that the theory of consciousness was born way back during 1850's as Maxwell's Demon.

"Is talking the smallest part of conversation?"

Third chapter is the real gist of this book. He explains about Consciousness, the half-a-second delay, how much time the consciousness lags behind. Our reactions, decisions are lot quicker but till we are aware of them we cannot act. There is a hell lot of information that gets into the brain through different senses (over 11 millions of bits of information every second), eye, skin, ear, nose, and mouth whereas our consciousness can only process 40 bits per second. Hence the brain processes all these information filters most of it, and gives us(consciousness) only what is important to us. And the process of this exformation( filtering information) happens unconsciously. Most of our what we experience, and most of what we do is unconscious. Isn't that surprising?

“Civilization is about removing information about our surroundings; discarding information about nature so our senses are not burdened with all that information and our consciousness can concentrate on other matters.”  

Last chapter is about how we perceive world and what it really is. As humans we tend to seek predictability. We want to have a theory to everything, reason out and if possible find a formula which can be applied to give expected results.  But this is not true. Consciousness is gating the tremendous possibilities. Consciousness is everything put in order, Subconscious is chaos. Can we manage Chaos? Is a human being more than what he thinks he is, is he more than what is his consciousness?  Is consciousness an evolution to cope up with the complex world?

"A thing not structured and organized contains more information, because it is more difficult to describe"

"You sense far more than you are conscious of. Whether you want to or not"

Hat-trick

A Hat-trick! Well not exactly 3 times in a row, but last Saturday one of my post got paid, the third time! Some thoughts(purely non-fiction) scribbled on internet, intranet that gave me returns in the form of cash, and an even more valuable payout a book(User Illusion - right now half into this book and am awestruck, I just hope to find little more time to complete this one).

I started to wonder what clicks the best in reading/ writing world - simple open thoughts or complicated fiction? Right now am reading two opposite works. User Illusion, purely a science(psychology) supported by facts, theories etc. And Mahabharata, a true epic which I believe is totally a fictional book. I find both equally mesmerizing. I get goosebumps knowing how the mind works, reacts and process what is fed to it and facts, experiments associated with it from the book User Illusion. On the other hand - Mahabharata, I just cannot fathom this marvelous creative work with so many characters, so many twists, tales, and moral values. I cannot imagine the author(s) for their creativity back in those times. I did watch endless episodes of Mahabharata serials on TV when I was a kid, and have been hearing about how great a story it is all my life. But I truly got interested in it recently through my Husband. He introduced me yet again to Mahabharata. There is no Black and White in this epic. Everything and every character has shades of grey. This seems to be the only epic that has the highest number of words in the world. I hope to write a review soon on this someday, if I could get to read the authentic version of it from the beginning to the end. It seems there are answers to every situation or every question one faces in their life in this epic. Well is this just an epic or has it really happened? I favor the former. Given there are so many characters. My research did not show any solid proofs yet to prove that it really happened. But if there are any which I have not found yet I would be more than happy to know that the story did take place. At least part of it. How much we want to tie up everything to reality?

Anyway, I am a more practical person, and if am given a choice to dream consciously, I would still put in the logic, think of the plausibility, feasibility and then imagine. To write fiction one should have the ability to think or imagine beyond the boundaries, one needs to let go of their inhibitions. Most importantly one need to be able to lie. Show something as real as life though it is not. I have a strong influence of who I am on each of my writings. I want all these writing a reflection of me. This thought does scare me cause am letting myself out in the open for anyone to know me!

Another question that puzzles me is how can a single author write so many complex emotions? Does it require for them to feel each of these emotions? Can one write without experiencing the situation? Is that what called creativity? Or is writing actually not a true creative act but correlating act? Relating ones pain, happiness, and such at a different intensity in a different situation? Did that sound complicated? Yeah!

So I stick to writing simple thoughts for now. May be Mahabharata will influence me to writing fiction! May be!

Love Being A Woman

Are men to be blamed?

Am I feminist? I do not know! In fact I am more comfortable being among men rather than women. I met this woman from IT field and she is earning a decent salary working for an MNC. Married and a Mom. But if she has to step out of her house she needs her husband. One to take his  permission and second for him to escort her. I wonder how she comes to work everyday alone? She is not even allowed to touch the car, as apparently after she drove the car it had to be repaired. Can a car be damaged cause of the driver? Without any accident? She earns more than him and even contributes to most of their family expenses. To go to her Mom's place she needs him to approve, support and accompany her. What the hell, cant she just hop on a bus/ train and go on her own?  If she was assigned an onsite project would he take her and drop her at her workplace? Why are woman still so dependent on men? Why do they do this? Is the man to be blamed or these woman who like being taken care of by men and hence impose these disabilities on them? Without her husband she is a handicap who cannot go around anywhere on her own( work is an exception though - somehow!). And when I hear to women *cribbing* about this, not realizing the fault is theirs, I find it hard to keep my cool and listen to them. Am so afraid that I might snap out and say something that might hurt the other person. And who am I to get into their family matters anyway! So yeah am more comfortable being among men, who discuss stock market, cricket etc.

Men are given opportunities based on their potential while women are given opportunities based on their performance. Is it true?

I attending a corporate women leadership forum today. Women from different companies, with varied skills, positions and ages were there. All of us had one question. Repeatedly, over and over asked, discussed and debated. The issue was - MEN. Everything boiled down to dealing a man, unfortunately. Diversity! . How do you overcome this bias?

I am not sure this is true. But all those examples, case studies complemented it. However, there were exceptions too( all those panelists, key notes speakers - well yeah all these successful women). But the pyramid of women in leadership was too narrow and too steep. Stats say 50% of engineering college students are girls. So why is there only 5% when it comes to the top ladder?

What does it take to be a Man?

There was a man( Prakash Belawadi - a journalist, and an actor from the movie Madras Cafe) among the panelists too. He mentioned that all those aspects of being a woman should only be taken as an advantage when compared to men. Men should actually adopt these, rather than women trying to change/ see them as their negatives. A woman performs 9 out of 10 tasks assigned to her exceptionally well, but fails in 1. But she is stuck to that one failure. She admits it. Many women today saw it as being tactless in not being able to project the good to cover up the bad. Men like Prakash see it as being open and honest. Men go and meet anyone and make friends with him. They socialize over a coffee, smoke or a cocktail party. If a woman approaches or tries to be too social she is judged for her character. It does not matter what a man wears to a board meeting, but it matters what a woman wears. Say if a lady wore flip flops like Steve Jobs to one of the board meetings, would she even be considered a leader?

And if one knows women, this list would go on and on. One thing they are for no doubt good at is cribbing, expressing their emotions, problems. I personally think men are equally shy, socially uncomfortable. Men nowadays are into the kitchen. Into taking care of kids. I know of many of my colleagues who baby sit when their wifes HAD to go to work. I know of many men who do not treat you as a weaker gender but respect them for being their equal or more than that. We woman have so many advantages working for us - we have this unique intuition which is very important when you are directly working with clients. Our minds are more irrational than men. And on top of it, we can empathize better, connect better. We talk a lot, hence better communicators. So be yourself. A Woman. And be proud of this fact.

If at all someone is to be blamed for why women are where they are today, in countries especially like India - the women themselves.

The Book

What is the first thing you do when you buy a brand new book? Fresh from the print? Smell it? :-).

I tried my best to catch up with technology and read books online, on mobile, and all possible software's that try their best to give the same feel of reading a hardcover or a paperback . But could not get past even 10 pages. I love books - in their original form, as a hard copy. The sense of holding a book, turning those pages, folding them, all adds up to the experience of reading a book. Does not matter if it is a novel or a technical book. It has to be a printed hard copy. And if it is a hardcover, nothing like it! Just till few years back I used to maintain a diary, not a digital one but one in which I can write with my own hands, in my own handwriting. As if, someday when I read those words back, I can exactly feel those words and relive those moments.

And though I read each word of the book, including the cover, whats written on the front cover, back cover, acknowledgments, reviews ( with an exception of appendix though ) little did I pay attention to the book's cover or its design; may be I was too caught up with the saying - do not judge a book by its cover,  till I watched this TED Talk - Designing Books Is No Laughing Matter by Chip Kidd.  It is amazing to know how interesting his job is in designing book covers. All he gets from the author is a set of words or few sentences that gives the gist of the book and he has to design a book cover that summarizes the book.

I read this 900 pages book by a Japanese writer - IQ84, whose book cover is also designed by Kidd. The title of course caught my attention and I solely picked this book for its title. I had already decided that I would buy this book, and went on to read few reviews to convince myself of my decision. I did notice its cover and its design till I watched this talk. I had not even opened the book jacket till date, for I was not knowing the art or thought behind it. How can one design a book cover & jacket that explains a woman living in an alternate reality -  two parallel worlds?

How much work goes into packing words? Packing a story? And giving the reader that unique experience of reading it? Well, would I look at the book cover the next time I buy a book? Hell yeah! Time to go through my collection and spend sometime with the book covers and their design, which I had ignored. Sure, there are certain things which can never be replaced, especially by technology.

PS: Designing Books Is No Laughing Matter is hilarious as well as insightful.

My Fictional World

I like fictional characters than real-life characters. Most of the real-life hero's/ characters that I really admire, I got to delve into their life's only after they were dead(...say Ayn Rand, Michael Jackson, Steve Jobs and so on). I feel closer to these fictional characters from books, movies, TV series than my real-time friends or family. I should be sick. A schizophrenic? Yeah I always have this worry that when am old I will end up being a schizophrenic. My nightmare!

Anyways, Christina from Grey's Anatomy sitcom, I adore her so much. Best creation of Shonda Rhimes.  Most ambitious female surgeon who always puts her career in front of other things. Who is competitive, brilliant, aggressive, perfectionist, bullying and always on top of the game. In spite of all these it is hard to hate her. She never likes losing. And is so patronizing, adamant and firm to her beliefs or decisions. Yet there is a soft corner for her friend Meredeth Grey. Probably the only person on earth she trusts or cares for. In real life it is hard to find these type of people. Even if they are, they are polluted sooner or later by the circumstances, environment or situations. She acts to be cold, but she is too scared to let her emotions ruin her. I really admire how she survives the world. Like she calls Grey "her person", Christina is "my person".

It is so sad to know that in Season 10 she is will leave the show. And every time one of my favorite character dies( fictionally ) I feel the loss. As though I really lost a person. Strange how we develop these relations with the characters, strange sometimes how these bonds feel stronger than those that are made with real people. Way back I used to TALK to people when I had a problem. Crib endlessly even knowing that there is no solution to it. And down this self-pity, sabotage I met these people, these fictional people. With whom "talking" is as pointless as "talking" to real-people. Still I felt better. Every time I am off my mind, or there is something that worries me - there are the ones that come for my rescue. A half an hour to an hour watching one of these sitcoms am back in action :-).

Someone said "there is no friend loyal than a book", "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend". 

Well...hope to find a character as good as Christina somewhere sometime in this fictional world.

Not the least, Sandra Oh has done the justice to this character Christina. Sometimes I wonder is it the character or the performer we fall in love with?

Lootera Movie Review

The Last Leaf

Also posted on MouthShut.

 

It's been a while there has been a beautiful romantic story in Bollywood/ Tollywood. Lootera, a heart soaking love story set in the 1950s of Bengal. And the pace of the movie really lets you dwell in the romance that by the end of the movie you are left with the memories of the feelings when you, for the first time felt true love ever.  Like many said, the pace is absolutely not the problem with this movie but works to its advantage. This movie is definitely not for the masses. But for all those who have been in love, are in love. For all those who can appreciate art. In fact there are many scenes which you DO NOT want to rush through. You would wish you stayed there for few more minutes.

Pakhi, living with his father Zamindar, is the most pampered, protected child. Sonakshi Sinha has done an amazing job in this role and she would really take home few awards this year. Pakhi's character is a sweet adorable girl which every would be forced to fall in love with her mischievous braveness. Varun & Dev come to their house as archeologists. Pakhi with her charm attracts Varun and they fall in love with each other. But Varun is not allowed to fall in love. Why? Did Varun & Dev come to there to fall in love or with some ulterior motive? 

Soon, Pakhi right on her engagement day is abandoned by Varun. Both her heart and life are shattered to pieces with Varun betraying her. Her father not coping with the events passes away too. She moves to Dalhousie and practices writing, which she always wanted to do. Her being a TB patient, she lives waiting for the day to die. Die like the old tree next to her house. She believes that the day the tree sheds its last leaf is the day she would die too. In any other movie you would have thought silly her. But in this, you would sympathize with her. Not everything in life is in absolutes. There are stories, fables, imaginations, metaphors. Director exposes all these absurdities of life so beautifully with this story.

Suddenly Varun on one fine day comes back to her life. And you would expect an usual drama with heavy dialogs, sobbing, screaming and emotions here. But there are no huge explanations nor interrogations. Each scene shouting out loud that "THAT IS LIFE". These are all eventualities which no one can escape nor can be reasoned. All one can do is to accept and come in terms with it. And each of us carry a weapon that can hurt our own selfs, with us all the time - your heart. A heart that can break you or make you. And so by the end of the movie everyone gets what they deserve from the movie. Characters and the audience.

Director is just mind-blowing with his perfect balance of drama, emotions and music. The background score elevates each scene. I would give 5 out of 5 for this movie.

10 Years Journey Into....

Last sunday, the July 14th, 10 years back I reluctantly joined IT field. Cause my Dad suddenly declared that he cannot sponsor my higher studies abroad. So I was asked to work for few years earn and sponsor my own studies. For almost 8 months( yes, I clearly remember for how long, cause I was counting each and every day), into my career all I cherished was my I20. I just was waiting for a day to leave. To fly. To reach the sky. To soar.

Even in school and college days when I thought of my career I did not think about a steady job that pays for my bills and loans. This was never my idea. I always wanted to be a student. A scientist :-). Well, in which specialization again, I did not know, all I wanted was to be a scientist, doing some kind of research, analysis. Even till date I exactly do not know what these titles are for, in reality.

Now, 10 years into my career, I no more have the same energy or passion for studies. Or may be I lack motivation or the environment. Once in a blue moon, I get inspired by one of my friends, and I seriously think of doing a management course. I send out mails to institutes and I collect all the data and keep it. Call people and gather information.  Just keep it! Tucking it safely behind the back of my mind. I do not know why I do that.

Life changes so much since school. Since college. No one tells you this. Even since day 1 of my career, life has changed so much. Different sets of friends, acquaintances. I really miss my first job and the first few friends that I made in this field. A bunch of 10 people, 0-1 yrs experienced. All of us were so alike. So much. In many ways. None of us had long-term plans in that job, yet we worked 18-20 hrs every single day including weekends. Few of us were sleeping in office itself. No complaints. No cribbing. As if all of us had no life outside office? Was it true? Nope. Half of us had BFs/ GFs, but all of us had deadlines. Now I wonder how the hell did we balance work and life back then, and how now we need classes, sessions to teach us the same? And how did we enjoy our work though no one based their life's on it? What changed since then?

So at the end of 1.3 yrs when I realized there is more to learn through experience than from education I gave up on my higher studies( completely?). I decided to move on to a different company without any second thoughts. One fine day I decided am done here. I did not care a bit about all those friends I made or did not worry that I was moving further away from my home town. Just on the instincts that I love change I made this decision. It was not a hard decision. My teammates thought money is the reason why am moving. But that WAS the case with my second jump but not the first.

And then priorities kept changing without me realizing them. But no regrets whatsoever. However to take a decision today, I really have to become a scientist to do so. Evaluate, analyze, think long-term, this, that. I have changed from a person who acts on her instincts to a person who needs a best algorithm to reach from point A to point B, corroborated by logic and facts. Everything that I do even mundane things like cooking, groceries, has to go through a calculation[ yeah I tried 4 ways of cooking plain rice and chose the best, on what parameters is yet another topic :-P ]

On introspecting, probably facts, data and LOGIC are the only things I have TRUST in. Do I at least trust myself enough?!  Or the people who really have trust in me? No...not again...not another loop of infinite thoughts. So I rest it here.

Happy 10th Work Anniversary to Me! Yay! [ Oh my God, does that make me old? :-P ]