Grandiose

Also posted on MouthShut.

I was reading this post with a funny yet curious title "Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy". What got the best of my curiosity are the words "Gen Y", "Unhappy". Somehow those two words in the same sentence was an oxymoron to me till I read this post.

Not quoting most of the post, am just rephrasing it here , Happiness = Reality - Expectations. Wow its THAT simple? An equation? That means you can work it out in favor of Happiness? True that many a times my expectations, ambitions seem like far from reality. Take for example winning MouthShut contests and being the first one since the contest started, to get ROD, FB and First ROD, makes me run a little longer and faster on the track of being a writer someday!

So why should one not think high? Aim high? Talk Big? Once owning a car was a big thing. Forget car, buying designer clothes was a big thing for me. Now all those seem so silly and not so great aspects of my life. So why not leap a little and dream BIG? Why should I really be worried that these plans might not work out?

I will tell you why. Most of the time, we live up to someone else's standards. All these social networking sites like Facebook give a bloated and grandiose life's of your friends, and half of them are lies. If someone is partying every other day then there seriously is some problem with that person, which is making his/ her life miserable and not worth living alone. I know many a people whose self-worth is defined by number of Like's and Comments they get on facebook. Guys go write, share your experiences, not in single words, nameless photos, status messages or emot icons. If you really want to share an experience write about it, talk about it, with a friend of yours who truly would be happy for you. I am more plugged in than I appear to be, but I prefer Quora to Facebook, MouthShut, Blogger to other social networking sites/ apps.

Secondly, SAS - Short Attention Span Syndrome. Yeah, yeah we all keep basking on these words "Follow Your Passion". But do we all truly know what our passion really is? Is it a passing fad or something very inherent in you? Is it based on your talent or your likes for it? It is easy to learn so many new skills these days - say cooking, photography etc. Buy a camera and you want to be a photographer. Buy a food processor and your a chef. All these can be hobbies. People really misunderstand between hobbies and passions. In times where keeping your attention is so hard, how can you keep your interests? Experiment everything but your passion will be something that you keep coming back to again and again. Even am not sure how to differentiate from my hobbies and passion(s).

Last, getting caught and sacrificing quality time with yourself does no good. Its a rat race at the end of it. Happiness is not an equation after all. All we care about is just winning, being better than someone else. In this generation there is an explanation for everything, if there is not an explanation then there is a fancy word to it. We are swamped with these theories, rules, equations, tags and at the end of it we are more confused if not happy.

Pasta with White Sauce

Ingredients:-

1. Cheese - 50 gms
2. Milk  - 200 ml
3. Corn Flour  - 2 tbsp
4. Butter - 50 gms
5. Pasta
6. Salt to taste
7. Olive Oil
8. Garlic
9. Onions 1
10. Peppers 1
11. Mushrooms
12. Pepper Powder

Preperation:-

1. Heat water with salt and 1/2 tbsp of oil. When it bubbles, add pasta to it.
2. Cook for 10-15 mins. Drain and run over cold water.
3. Heat Olive oil and add finely chopped garlic to it.
4. Add onions, peppers, Mushrooms. When saute keep them aside.
5. Heat butter in a pan. Add Corn flour and fry for 2 mins.
6. Add cheese and milk to this and cook with salt and pepper.
7. When this paste turns slightly thick add sauted veggies and pasta and cook for 2 mins.

Mirchi Bajji

Ingredients:-

1. Cumin Powder - 1/2 tbsp
2. Tamarind Pulp 2 tbsp
3. Sugar 1/4 tbsp or Jaggery
4. Salt to taste
5. Besan powder
6. Chillie Powder - 1/2 tbsp
7. Cooking Soda 1/4 tbsp
8. Oil
9. Banana Chillies - 6
10. Onions and Lemon for dressing

Preperation:-

1. For the stuffing mix cumin powder, salt, tamarind pulp and sugar and make a thick paste.
2. Cut banana chillies length wise and gently take off the seeds if any. Stuff these with the above paste.
3. Mix besan, chillie powder, salt and soda with water to make a think paste. You can add rice flour( 1 tbsp) to it as well.
4. Dip the stuffed chillies in this paste and fry them in boiling oil.
5. Dress them with sliced onions, lemon and cumin or pepper powder.

Jamie's Salad

I will name this recipe as Jamie's Salad, as I do not remember the recipe name. I watched this program "Jamies 15 mins" in TLC and guess why I love his program than other cooking shows( Nigellism, Exotic Everyday etc )? Cause you can cook awesome dishes just in 15 mins and he uses a lot of greens. Fresh, beautiful and delicious.

This salad that he prepared he used every possible greens and veggies that he could ever find plus smoked chicken and few exotic dressings. But I am limiting to these ingredients below:

1. Mayonnaise  4-5 tbsps
2. Fresh Sweet Corn - 1
3. Lettuce  - 200 gms
4. Carrots  - 250 gms
5. Cucumber - 2
6. Onions - 1
7. Pepper Powder - 2-3 tbps
8. Lemons (1)
9. Salt to taste
10. Yogurt  4-5 tbps
11. Pepper 1 red + 1 green

Dressing:-

1.  Add lemon juice to 4-5 tbsps of Mayonnaise. I llloooove American Garden Eggless
   
   Mayonnaise.
2. Add salt, pepper powder and yogurt to the above mix and your dressing is ready. If required you can add chilli flakes as well.

Preperation:-

1. Heat fresh corn on low flame for 5-7 mins. Take a knife and chop the sides, an easy to way to separate the corns.
2. Slice onions, peppers, lettuce, carrots, cucumber.
3. Mix all the above ingredients with the dressing.

Sear Fish Fry

I used to hate sea food. For the smell and for the fact that no matter with what you cook it does not catch the flavor. Well I was wrong till we visited this place "Grill Maximus" at HSR Layout, Bangalore. You get the best fish dishes here( Fish fingers, Fish and Chips, Grilled Fish). So we thought why not get used to eating fish food too. After all it is supposed to be a healthy food.

Yeah another reason why we were away from fish were those tiny small irritating bones that get caught in your throat. So we went to meat shop and asked for a fish that has no bones. And the guy suggested Sear Fish. Later we learnt that Sear Fish has the highest fat content :-(.

Anyways my first trial at cooking fish was a grand success. Here's the recipe, not a recipe really. I follow Nigella who cooks with all canned, and read-made stuff. So you get these fish fry masala in stores. Just Marinate with it and fry the fish over. Well, "documenting" the same,

Ingredients:-

1. Sear Fish - 500 gms
2. Fish Fry Masala
3. Lemon juice
4. Salt to taste
5. Oil to fry

Preperation:-

1. If you ask the meat shop guy to chop the fish for fry he will nicely slice it into thin pieces. With Sear fish you don't have to clean and no messy stuff at home at all.
2. Add 1 full lemon's juice, fish fry masala pack and marinate the fish for 1/2 hr.
3. You can add salt per your preference. 
4. Heat oil in a pan. I used Olive oil. And fry these pieces on medium heat.

Aloo Palak with Broccoli

Ingredients:-

1. Potatoes   - 200 gms
2. Broccoli   - 200 gms
3. Palak        - 2  big bunch
4. Tomatoe   150 gms
5. Onions     1
6. Garlic  - 4-5 cloves
7. Chillie Powder - 2 tbps
8. Coriander Powder - 1 tbsp
9. Garam Masal  - 1/2 tbsp
10. Ginger Garlic Paste 1 tbsp
11. Salt to taste
12. Oil

Preparation:-

1. Slice Broccoli and potatoe and boil them with salt.
2. Once they are boiled, drain and run them over cold water. This keeps the green color of broccoli.
3. Heat water with salt. Take a big bowl add spinach leaves to it and pour the boiling hot water over them. Cover this bowl for 5 mins so that the leaves get cooked.
4. Drain the water. Grind this into paste with garlic cloves.
5. Heat pan, add oil.
6. Fry sliced onions and when brown, add ginger-garlic paste.
7. Add sliced tomatoes and cook till tomatoes soften.
8. Add poatoes, broccoli and spinach paste to this.
9. Add Chillie powder, coriander powder and salt if required and cook for 5 mins.
10. Add garama masala at the end and cook for 1-2 mins.
11. Serve with pulka :-)
    
    
    

Pumpkin Curry

Ingredients:-

1. Pumpkin - 500gms
2. Onions -1
3. Red Dry Chillie 2
4. Curry Leaves 6-8
5. Mustard Seeds 1/4tbsp
6. Turmeric - pinch
7. Chillie Powder 2 tbps
8. Coriander Powder 1 tbsp
9. Amchoor Powder 1/2 tbsp
10. Salt to taste
11. Oil

 

Preperation:-

1. Peel the hard skin off the pumpkin. Chop them into small cubes,
2. Heat Oil. Add mustard seeds to it. When they splutter, add dry chillie, curry leaves and slices onions.
3. When onions on translucent add pumpkin cubes. 
4. Add rest of the spices and boil by adding enough water for the pumpkin to cook.
5. When pumpkin is cooked add Amchoor powder and cook for 5 mins.

Pumpkin Halwa

Ingredients:-

1. Pumpkin - 750 gms
2. Sugar      - 400 gms
3. Ghee      - 100 gms
4. Cashews - 50 gms
5. Raisins  - 50 gms
6. Ilachi pods  - 5
7. Milk - 3 tbsps

Preperation:-

1. Grate pumpkin after peeling the skin off.
2. Heat ghee in a pan and roast cashews and raisins.
3. Add grated pumpkin and milk and cook till pumpkin gets soft.
4. When pumpkin is cooked add sugar and ilachi powder.
5. Serve cold.
   

Egg and Drumsticks Leaves

Ingredients:-

1. Drumsticks leaves - 200 gms
2. Eggs - 4
3. Onions 2
4. Dry red chillie - 2
5. Green chillie - 6
6. Curry leaves 4-6
7. Mustard Seeds
8. Garlic pods 4
9. Salt to taste
10. Oil

Preperation:-

1. Boil drumstick leaves in water with salt. When they are 3/4 cooked drain the water and keep aside.
2. Heat oil in a pan and add mustard seeds for seasoning.
3. Add finely chopped onions, curry leaves, green chillies, red chillies, garlic and fry them till onions are golden brown.
4. Add eggs and fry for 3 mins.
5. Add leaves to the same and fry till the mixture gets dry.
6. Can be served with rice or chapathi.

Everyone Needs A Superhero

What a way to start a week? Made my day, a monday - My Blog got featured again. This post deserves getting featured than all of my other posts. I was a little disappointed when one of my latest post got featured but not this one. I thought it got all lost, and will be a history. There you go I do can pick controversial topics too and get rewarded for it than criticized. I do want to write a lot not just on usual stuff but burning matters, say the current situation in AP, the division of states etc. But always chose to play safe! May be this gives me an encouragement to give my opinions, views( when did I turn into an introvert from being an opinionated person? ). Did I change? When? How? Why? :-P

That was enough drama! :-P

So right now what is getting to my nerves is the situation in Andra Pradesh. In what minds was Sonia and her Party were, when they decided to divide the state into two? Were they so wasted when they took this decision? Why the hell should there be two states talking the same language, with same culture, but as two different entities? For generations now, these two states will always be rivals. They divided the state just for political reasons? I feel so helpless and confused with situations like these. And to top it up the strikes. There have been no schools, no transportation( road) services since months now. And now electricity board is on strike too.

Who is suffering cause of all this? Common people. My 80 year old grandmother and my Mother-in-law who needs regular health check-ups could not go see a doctor cause of these strikes. My sister's 2 months old baby is suffering cause of umpteen inconveniences  these strikes are causing. What happens to children's education if the schools stop teaching for more than 3 months? Would they postpone board exams too? Aren't they losing valuable time in their education? Is this how people chose to fight back? By not providing the services to their own people?

I for once feel violence is better than these cold wars. Let all those hot-headed men/ women fight to death and end this rather than months or years of these useless losers wars which only troubles common people than winning anything! Should I be happy that I no more live in a state like that? Should I be sorry that I am from such a state? Should I be worried that someday even this state that I live in, might get into such pitiable state?

Suppose I was living in such situations would I be sitting like this and ranting away on the internet? Can I do something? Will I? My hot-head sure says to do something. But would I really go ahead and do it? It is easy to say, but not so easy to actually do it. We always want that "someone" else who would fight for us, who would win battles for us.  Everyone needs a superhero, but no one wants to be one. Well, at least now, I do know what is happening to AP. It is looking for "The Dark Knight" to rise and save it.

I keep watching these Super-hero movies over and over. Every time they are played on TV. Every time! And I get goosebumps each time watching these hero's. All these politicians like Jagan, have so much money, so much power so if they really want to save the world why not be a super-hero, rather than a politician? Why to get into messy politics and become a victim instead? Choose your own way of fighting, choose your own battle field, and play your own game?

You can read my rantings here as well.

The User Illusion by Tor Norretrandes - A Book Review

Also posted on MouthShut. 

Is human a conscious, rational being? Can we explain everything that happens to us or around us? Are all our (re)actions, decisions, choices in life done consciously? One would be taken aback if I were( sorry if the author and the science) to tell you that Consciousness plays hardly any role in our lives.

"To be aware of an experience means that it has passed"

How do you explain dreams? Am sure all of us would have at least one dream that came true. Not day dreams, but dreams - things that we saw, felt or perceived when we were asleep - unconscious. How do you explain that?  How about De Ja Vu? What about the first impressions that we frame of people? Without knowing a thing about a person, what is it that tells us about the person that lets you perceive and frame an impression? When we see a thing or place, how much of it is from our memory or from first hand perception?

"The least interesting aspect of good conversation is what is actually said. What is more interesting is all the deliberations and emotions that take place simultaneously"

Why are we so good are doing automated, repeated tasks, say driving/ cycling? Are we consciously driving all the time? All these automated tasks are best done when we are unaware/ unconscious. The moment we become conscious, we in fact falter( that is what happens when we are under pressure ). Say if you were to consciously speak in a foreign language that you recently learnt, you would fumble.

"The words are merely references to something not present"

Sleepwalking, Blindsight, Love at first Sight,  and many more things are really not results of consciousness. All these happen without your conscious. You are conscious of only the problem and the solution, but the process of arriving at solution is not through conscious. That is consciousness is only an implementer, there is something else, a silent, hidden observer that really is taking decisions. In effect consciousness is discarded/ filtered information, that is important to you. But the filtering is not done by consciousness. If things were so simple, Artificial Intelligence could have handed over mental activities from human to machines. No machine is as intelligent as a man is. All they are good at is "Computation".

"It is not what we say to each other every day that establishes all the meaning and beauty and truth, it is everything we think before we speak"

Well that is a load of information or processed discarded information? Too many questions. I happened to stumble upon this book through Quora. I was following a post on a lazy day and many mentioned how insightful this book "The User Illusion" by  Tor Norretrandes is. And happened to get hands on this book in a completely unexpected way. This books is very intriguing, though at times it gets into too much theory, science and even history. The book is divided into four parts - Computation, Communication, Consciousness and Composure. First two chapters are tough to get through. Many a times it was too much for me to read or process all that data. The author tries to explain about consciousness from different scientific fields - Thermodynamics, Information Theory, Psychology, Chaos Theory etc. This is where he walks us through the history of science and how that the theory of consciousness was born way back during 1850's as Maxwell's Demon.

"Is talking the smallest part of conversation?"

Third chapter is the real gist of this book. He explains about Consciousness, the half-a-second delay, how much time the consciousness lags behind. Our reactions, decisions are lot quicker but till we are aware of them we cannot act. There is a hell lot of information that gets into the brain through different senses (over 11 millions of bits of information every second), eye, skin, ear, nose, and mouth whereas our consciousness can only process 40 bits per second. Hence the brain processes all these information filters most of it, and gives us(consciousness) only what is important to us. And the process of this exformation( filtering information) happens unconsciously. Most of our what we experience, and most of what we do is unconscious. Isn't that surprising?

“Civilization is about removing information about our surroundings; discarding information about nature so our senses are not burdened with all that information and our consciousness can concentrate on other matters.”  

Last chapter is about how we perceive world and what it really is. As humans we tend to seek predictability. We want to have a theory to everything, reason out and if possible find a formula which can be applied to give expected results.  But this is not true. Consciousness is gating the tremendous possibilities. Consciousness is everything put in order, Subconscious is chaos. Can we manage Chaos? Is a human being more than what he thinks he is, is he more than what is his consciousness?  Is consciousness an evolution to cope up with the complex world?

"A thing not structured and organized contains more information, because it is more difficult to describe"

"You sense far more than you are conscious of. Whether you want to or not"

Hat-trick

A Hat-trick! Well not exactly 3 times in a row, but last Saturday one of my post got paid, the third time! Some thoughts(purely non-fiction) scribbled on internet, intranet that gave me returns in the form of cash, and an even more valuable payout a book(User Illusion - right now half into this book and am awestruck, I just hope to find little more time to complete this one).

I started to wonder what clicks the best in reading/ writing world - simple open thoughts or complicated fiction? Right now am reading two opposite works. User Illusion, purely a science(psychology) supported by facts, theories etc. And Mahabharata, a true epic which I believe is totally a fictional book. I find both equally mesmerizing. I get goosebumps knowing how the mind works, reacts and process what is fed to it and facts, experiments associated with it from the book User Illusion. On the other hand - Mahabharata, I just cannot fathom this marvelous creative work with so many characters, so many twists, tales, and moral values. I cannot imagine the author(s) for their creativity back in those times. I did watch endless episodes of Mahabharata serials on TV when I was a kid, and have been hearing about how great a story it is all my life. But I truly got interested in it recently through my Husband. He introduced me yet again to Mahabharata. There is no Black and White in this epic. Everything and every character has shades of grey. This seems to be the only epic that has the highest number of words in the world. I hope to write a review soon on this someday, if I could get to read the authentic version of it from the beginning to the end. It seems there are answers to every situation or every question one faces in their life in this epic. Well is this just an epic or has it really happened? I favor the former. Given there are so many characters. My research did not show any solid proofs yet to prove that it really happened. But if there are any which I have not found yet I would be more than happy to know that the story did take place. At least part of it. How much we want to tie up everything to reality?

Anyway, I am a more practical person, and if am given a choice to dream consciously, I would still put in the logic, think of the plausibility, feasibility and then imagine. To write fiction one should have the ability to think or imagine beyond the boundaries, one needs to let go of their inhibitions. Most importantly one need to be able to lie. Show something as real as life though it is not. I have a strong influence of who I am on each of my writings. I want all these writing a reflection of me. This thought does scare me cause am letting myself out in the open for anyone to know me!

Another question that puzzles me is how can a single author write so many complex emotions? Does it require for them to feel each of these emotions? Can one write without experiencing the situation? Is that what called creativity? Or is writing actually not a true creative act but correlating act? Relating ones pain, happiness, and such at a different intensity in a different situation? Did that sound complicated? Yeah!

So I stick to writing simple thoughts for now. May be Mahabharata will influence me to writing fiction! May be!

Love Being A Woman

Are men to be blamed?

Am I feminist? I do not know! In fact I am more comfortable being among men rather than women. I met this woman from IT field and she is earning a decent salary working for an MNC. Married and a Mom. But if she has to step out of her house she needs her husband. One to take his  permission and second for him to escort her. I wonder how she comes to work everyday alone? She is not even allowed to touch the car, as apparently after she drove the car it had to be repaired. Can a car be damaged cause of the driver? Without any accident? She earns more than him and even contributes to most of their family expenses. To go to her Mom's place she needs him to approve, support and accompany her. What the hell, cant she just hop on a bus/ train and go on her own?  If she was assigned an onsite project would he take her and drop her at her workplace? Why are woman still so dependent on men? Why do they do this? Is the man to be blamed or these woman who like being taken care of by men and hence impose these disabilities on them? Without her husband she is a handicap who cannot go around anywhere on her own( work is an exception though - somehow!). And when I hear to women *cribbing* about this, not realizing the fault is theirs, I find it hard to keep my cool and listen to them. Am so afraid that I might snap out and say something that might hurt the other person. And who am I to get into their family matters anyway! So yeah am more comfortable being among men, who discuss stock market, cricket etc.

Men are given opportunities based on their potential while women are given opportunities based on their performance. Is it true?

I attending a corporate women leadership forum today. Women from different companies, with varied skills, positions and ages were there. All of us had one question. Repeatedly, over and over asked, discussed and debated. The issue was - MEN. Everything boiled down to dealing a man, unfortunately. Diversity! . How do you overcome this bias?

I am not sure this is true. But all those examples, case studies complemented it. However, there were exceptions too( all those panelists, key notes speakers - well yeah all these successful women). But the pyramid of women in leadership was too narrow and too steep. Stats say 50% of engineering college students are girls. So why is there only 5% when it comes to the top ladder?

What does it take to be a Man?

There was a man( Prakash Belawadi - a journalist, and an actor from the movie Madras Cafe) among the panelists too. He mentioned that all those aspects of being a woman should only be taken as an advantage when compared to men. Men should actually adopt these, rather than women trying to change/ see them as their negatives. A woman performs 9 out of 10 tasks assigned to her exceptionally well, but fails in 1. But she is stuck to that one failure. She admits it. Many women today saw it as being tactless in not being able to project the good to cover up the bad. Men like Prakash see it as being open and honest. Men go and meet anyone and make friends with him. They socialize over a coffee, smoke or a cocktail party. If a woman approaches or tries to be too social she is judged for her character. It does not matter what a man wears to a board meeting, but it matters what a woman wears. Say if a lady wore flip flops like Steve Jobs to one of the board meetings, would she even be considered a leader?

And if one knows women, this list would go on and on. One thing they are for no doubt good at is cribbing, expressing their emotions, problems. I personally think men are equally shy, socially uncomfortable. Men nowadays are into the kitchen. Into taking care of kids. I know of many of my colleagues who baby sit when their wifes HAD to go to work. I know of many men who do not treat you as a weaker gender but respect them for being their equal or more than that. We woman have so many advantages working for us - we have this unique intuition which is very important when you are directly working with clients. Our minds are more irrational than men. And on top of it, we can empathize better, connect better. We talk a lot, hence better communicators. So be yourself. A Woman. And be proud of this fact.

If at all someone is to be blamed for why women are where they are today, in countries especially like India - the women themselves.

The Book

What is the first thing you do when you buy a brand new book? Fresh from the print? Smell it? :-).

I tried my best to catch up with technology and read books online, on mobile, and all possible software's that try their best to give the same feel of reading a hardcover or a paperback . But could not get past even 10 pages. I love books - in their original form, as a hard copy. The sense of holding a book, turning those pages, folding them, all adds up to the experience of reading a book. Does not matter if it is a novel or a technical book. It has to be a printed hard copy. And if it is a hardcover, nothing like it! Just till few years back I used to maintain a diary, not a digital one but one in which I can write with my own hands, in my own handwriting. As if, someday when I read those words back, I can exactly feel those words and relive those moments.

And though I read each word of the book, including the cover, whats written on the front cover, back cover, acknowledgments, reviews ( with an exception of appendix though ) little did I pay attention to the book's cover or its design; may be I was too caught up with the saying - do not judge a book by its cover,  till I watched this TED Talk - Designing Books Is No Laughing Matter by Chip Kidd.  It is amazing to know how interesting his job is in designing book covers. All he gets from the author is a set of words or few sentences that gives the gist of the book and he has to design a book cover that summarizes the book.

I read this 900 pages book by a Japanese writer - IQ84, whose book cover is also designed by Kidd. The title of course caught my attention and I solely picked this book for its title. I had already decided that I would buy this book, and went on to read few reviews to convince myself of my decision. I did notice its cover and its design till I watched this talk. I had not even opened the book jacket till date, for I was not knowing the art or thought behind it. How can one design a book cover & jacket that explains a woman living in an alternate reality -  two parallel worlds?

How much work goes into packing words? Packing a story? And giving the reader that unique experience of reading it? Well, would I look at the book cover the next time I buy a book? Hell yeah! Time to go through my collection and spend sometime with the book covers and their design, which I had ignored. Sure, there are certain things which can never be replaced, especially by technology.

PS: Designing Books Is No Laughing Matter is hilarious as well as insightful.

My Fictional World

I like fictional characters than real-life characters. Most of the real-life hero's/ characters that I really admire, I got to delve into their life's only after they were dead(...say Ayn Rand, Michael Jackson, Steve Jobs and so on). I feel closer to these fictional characters from books, movies, TV series than my real-time friends or family. I should be sick. A schizophrenic? Yeah I always have this worry that when am old I will end up being a schizophrenic. My nightmare!

Anyways, Christina from Grey's Anatomy sitcom, I adore her so much. Best creation of Shonda Rhimes.  Most ambitious female surgeon who always puts her career in front of other things. Who is competitive, brilliant, aggressive, perfectionist, bullying and always on top of the game. In spite of all these it is hard to hate her. She never likes losing. And is so patronizing, adamant and firm to her beliefs or decisions. Yet there is a soft corner for her friend Meredeth Grey. Probably the only person on earth she trusts or cares for. In real life it is hard to find these type of people. Even if they are, they are polluted sooner or later by the circumstances, environment or situations. She acts to be cold, but she is too scared to let her emotions ruin her. I really admire how she survives the world. Like she calls Grey "her person", Christina is "my person".

It is so sad to know that in Season 10 she is will leave the show. And every time one of my favorite character dies( fictionally ) I feel the loss. As though I really lost a person. Strange how we develop these relations with the characters, strange sometimes how these bonds feel stronger than those that are made with real people. Way back I used to TALK to people when I had a problem. Crib endlessly even knowing that there is no solution to it. And down this self-pity, sabotage I met these people, these fictional people. With whom "talking" is as pointless as "talking" to real-people. Still I felt better. Every time I am off my mind, or there is something that worries me - there are the ones that come for my rescue. A half an hour to an hour watching one of these sitcoms am back in action :-).

Someone said "there is no friend loyal than a book", "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend". 

Well...hope to find a character as good as Christina somewhere sometime in this fictional world.

Not the least, Sandra Oh has done the justice to this character Christina. Sometimes I wonder is it the character or the performer we fall in love with?

Lootera Movie Review

The Last Leaf

Also posted on MouthShut.

 

It's been a while there has been a beautiful romantic story in Bollywood/ Tollywood. Lootera, a heart soaking love story set in the 1950s of Bengal. And the pace of the movie really lets you dwell in the romance that by the end of the movie you are left with the memories of the feelings when you, for the first time felt true love ever.  Like many said, the pace is absolutely not the problem with this movie but works to its advantage. This movie is definitely not for the masses. But for all those who have been in love, are in love. For all those who can appreciate art. In fact there are many scenes which you DO NOT want to rush through. You would wish you stayed there for few more minutes.

Pakhi, living with his father Zamindar, is the most pampered, protected child. Sonakshi Sinha has done an amazing job in this role and she would really take home few awards this year. Pakhi's character is a sweet adorable girl which every would be forced to fall in love with her mischievous braveness. Varun & Dev come to their house as archeologists. Pakhi with her charm attracts Varun and they fall in love with each other. But Varun is not allowed to fall in love. Why? Did Varun & Dev come to there to fall in love or with some ulterior motive? 

Soon, Pakhi right on her engagement day is abandoned by Varun. Both her heart and life are shattered to pieces with Varun betraying her. Her father not coping with the events passes away too. She moves to Dalhousie and practices writing, which she always wanted to do. Her being a TB patient, she lives waiting for the day to die. Die like the old tree next to her house. She believes that the day the tree sheds its last leaf is the day she would die too. In any other movie you would have thought silly her. But in this, you would sympathize with her. Not everything in life is in absolutes. There are stories, fables, imaginations, metaphors. Director exposes all these absurdities of life so beautifully with this story.

Suddenly Varun on one fine day comes back to her life. And you would expect an usual drama with heavy dialogs, sobbing, screaming and emotions here. But there are no huge explanations nor interrogations. Each scene shouting out loud that "THAT IS LIFE". These are all eventualities which no one can escape nor can be reasoned. All one can do is to accept and come in terms with it. And each of us carry a weapon that can hurt our own selfs, with us all the time - your heart. A heart that can break you or make you. And so by the end of the movie everyone gets what they deserve from the movie. Characters and the audience.

Director is just mind-blowing with his perfect balance of drama, emotions and music. The background score elevates each scene. I would give 5 out of 5 for this movie.

10 Years Journey Into....

Last sunday, the July 14th, 10 years back I reluctantly joined IT field. Cause my Dad suddenly declared that he cannot sponsor my higher studies abroad. So I was asked to work for few years earn and sponsor my own studies. For almost 8 months( yes, I clearly remember for how long, cause I was counting each and every day), into my career all I cherished was my I20. I just was waiting for a day to leave. To fly. To reach the sky. To soar.

Even in school and college days when I thought of my career I did not think about a steady job that pays for my bills and loans. This was never my idea. I always wanted to be a student. A scientist :-). Well, in which specialization again, I did not know, all I wanted was to be a scientist, doing some kind of research, analysis. Even till date I exactly do not know what these titles are for, in reality.

Now, 10 years into my career, I no more have the same energy or passion for studies. Or may be I lack motivation or the environment. Once in a blue moon, I get inspired by one of my friends, and I seriously think of doing a management course. I send out mails to institutes and I collect all the data and keep it. Call people and gather information.  Just keep it! Tucking it safely behind the back of my mind. I do not know why I do that.

Life changes so much since school. Since college. No one tells you this. Even since day 1 of my career, life has changed so much. Different sets of friends, acquaintances. I really miss my first job and the first few friends that I made in this field. A bunch of 10 people, 0-1 yrs experienced. All of us were so alike. So much. In many ways. None of us had long-term plans in that job, yet we worked 18-20 hrs every single day including weekends. Few of us were sleeping in office itself. No complaints. No cribbing. As if all of us had no life outside office? Was it true? Nope. Half of us had BFs/ GFs, but all of us had deadlines. Now I wonder how the hell did we balance work and life back then, and how now we need classes, sessions to teach us the same? And how did we enjoy our work though no one based their life's on it? What changed since then?

So at the end of 1.3 yrs when I realized there is more to learn through experience than from education I gave up on my higher studies( completely?). I decided to move on to a different company without any second thoughts. One fine day I decided am done here. I did not care a bit about all those friends I made or did not worry that I was moving further away from my home town. Just on the instincts that I love change I made this decision. It was not a hard decision. My teammates thought money is the reason why am moving. But that WAS the case with my second jump but not the first.

And then priorities kept changing without me realizing them. But no regrets whatsoever. However to take a decision today, I really have to become a scientist to do so. Evaluate, analyze, think long-term, this, that. I have changed from a person who acts on her instincts to a person who needs a best algorithm to reach from point A to point B, corroborated by logic and facts. Everything that I do even mundane things like cooking, groceries, has to go through a calculation[ yeah I tried 4 ways of cooking plain rice and chose the best, on what parameters is yet another topic :-P ]

On introspecting, probably facts, data and LOGIC are the only things I have TRUST in. Do I at least trust myself enough?!  Or the people who really have trust in me? No...not again...not another loop of infinite thoughts. So I rest it here.

Happy 10th Work Anniversary to Me! Yay! [ Oh my God, does that make me old? :-P ]

Lessons In Forgetting - A Book Review

Also posted on MouthShut.

I have not written a bad review of a book till date. Cause, if I find a book not worthy I just stop reading it. I do not even finish it. But with Lessons In Forgetting, I did finish reading it. Not cause for the suspense-thriller it feigns to be, but just to know if the book really is worth its ending.

I really liked Anita Nair for her book Ladies Coupe. I still think that is her best book till date. Read her other book Mistress, and left it half way some years ago. And now again knowing that her books is made into a movie, I preferred reading the book before watching the movie. Now I have second thought about watching the movie.

Mostly I like Anita Nair's books for her characters, especially female characters. But in this book the other protagonist Meera is nothing but a UK chik-lit book's pathetic female. Novel starts with Meera and her analogy of herself with the greek mythology goddess Hera. I seriously fail to understand how she ruins the greek mythology to suit herself.  She is abandoned by her husband Giri at a high-society party that involve, writers, actors etc. And later Jak( Professor Jak ) is asked to drop her home. Jak the other protagonist of the novel.

He is a middle-aged divorced father of two daughters living with his aunt Kala Chitti and bed ridden 19 year old daughter Smrithi. The story is about what happened to Smrithi on one of her trips, that she has lost all the life in her and is a dead soul with nothing but a body of flesh. Jak believes that there is more to a fatal accident that caused Smrithi this living death. So he starts digging into Smirthi's past, life, her friends to know the truth.

I tried hard not to skip through pages where Meera comes into the picture. I hate this character. An abandoned wife living with here grandmother, mother and with her younger son. And Vinnie, a character who she meets in an elevator and somehow becomes her best buddy for life. Another waste character in the book. Book would have done good just with Jak's story, and Meera is the one who spoilt the book. There are many plots where Meera goes back to 3 or more of her memories with different people and the plot just loses its grip. Looks like a bad attempt by the author at jumping between past and present. By 200+ pages I almost gave up, but thanks to Papa Jak who kept me hooked on.

And on top of that she tries to throw in some gyan on female foeticide and show few characters in the novel as martyrs. Another failed attempt. And Meera and her excerpts from her book on "A Corporate Wife's Guide to Entertaining"? Seriosuly? What age do these women live in?

I personally am very disappointed in this book.

Tootsie - A Movie Review

What does being a woman mean? Beautiful, docile, soft spoken, and most importantly submissive? And is that a definition by men? If so, will they be interested in this woman? If yes, do these men stop there? Do they really be happy with the woman that you are? The more weepy, needy you are the more they would pretend to be interested in you. And before you know there is already another woman in their life's. And this does not end cause a man who's interest is just skin deep is as weaker as a woman he wants. On the other hand, not many men appreciate a level-headed, strong-willed woman. These are some ghastly traits that a woman should have according to them. But there are gentlemen who really admire a strong woman and find them interesting. And the movie Tootsie just shows that in the most dramatic way possible ;).

"Dorothy: Oh I know what y'all really want is some gross, caricature of a woman to prove some idiotic point that power makes a woman masculine, or masculine women are ugly. Well shame on you for letting a man do that, or any man that does that. That means you, dear. Miss Marshall. Shame on you, you macho shit head"

Tootsie is a movie from Comedy Genre. How did I end up watching this? One of my friends shared this link where the actor in from the movie Tootise, Dustin Huffman tears up talking about making this movie and about every woman who wants to meet and match the expectations of a man.

"Julie: You taught me how to stand up for myself because you always do.
            You taught me to stop hiding and just be myself......because you're always yourself"

Michael Dorsey, has trouble getting a role in acting. Mostly cause of his nature and behavior. He finds it foolish to enact a scene which is beyond logic or reasoning. In a scene where he plays a man on his death bed, when the director asks him to walk across to the center and deliver few dialogs, he flares up asking how can a man who is dying walk across just because the director thinks that is what the audience want.

In this struggle to meet the ends, he decides to dress up like a woman for a female role in a SOAP. His desperate attempt somehow wins the role to his surprise. As he starts acting like a woman on the sets and in his real life, he himself falls in love with Dorothy Michaels, taking care of her looks and dignity. He influences people around him, especially women. They feel empowered by him. Who believes in no phony, to be what you are and to stand for what you are and not let anyone treat you less than what you deserve.
      
"Dorothy: That's very convenient.

Ron: No, wait a minute.
     Look at it from my side. See, if a woman wants me to seduce her...I usually do.
     But then she pretends I promised her something. Then I pretend I did.
    In the end, I'm the one that's exploited.

Dorothy: Bullshit, Ron!
         You know what? I understand you a lot better than you think I do."

He meets Julie, on the sets who he instantly falls in love with. And like any other cliched movie, she falls for the wrong guy Ron, the director of the show. Ron treats Julie like a doormat, and he cheats on her, hitting on every other woman. And has a convenient explanation of why he does so. And there goes a love triangle, but would Julie ever get to know who Dorothy is? And that the man behind Dorothy is really in love with her?

If its a movie made in 20's, I sure would not have appreciated it. But I can understand the applause or awards this movie/ actors got. Dustin Huffman/ Dorothy Michaels is really an interesting woman ;-)

"Michael: I'm not mentally ill, but proud...and lucky to be the woman, that was the best part of my manhood."

Coorg

How come Coorg?

Coorg - Scotland of India. Yeah that is what we chose to celebrate our first marriage anniversary. It was summer and we wanted a place, preferably a hill station, to get away from the heat. We decided to take our pet Leo with us. The reason for not traveling for almost an year is him. An epileptic dog, whom I did not wanted to leave alone in a kennel. To be honest, I miss him more than he does. I would constantly worry about him, than enjoy the trip. From our previous experience( Singapore) we decided we would take him along.

How did we go? 

We chose to drive( obviously, with a pet). We found the route guide through( team-bhp.com). There are basically two routes to this place and thanks to this website we could take the shortcut and save some 50 kms journey. Directions are pretty good. Every 20-30 mins you would pass by a town or a village and you would not get lost. To me this was important. I hate traveling on empty long roads. I have not traveled at all in my whole life and looking at empty long roads makes me restless.

We started in the morning at 6:30. We were not in a hurry and drove on an average 60 kms/ hr. We stopped at multiple places all along for Leo walk, for tender coconut, breakfast or some shopping on the way( when you pass by Chennapatna you see a lot of shops on the road side). By the time we reached the place it was 12 in the noon. Or else one could reach this place in less than 5 hrs. On our way back we were in Bangalore in less than 5 hrs.

We could have covered Golden Temple on the way. But as Leo was with us we could not. Otherwise Golden Temple is on the way from Bangalore to Coorg/ Madikere. This is a Buddhist monastery and a must see in Coorg.

And where did we stay?

So the obvious choice was to go for a Home Stay which would allow pets. I called up few and the only one which would pets was this - Bougan Villa Home Stay. The host was a bit worried if my pet would chew on the furniture etc, but they eventually agreed. They were charging 2000/- rs per day for the cottage. This is for a couple. Even though they provided food for my pet, we were not charged anything extra. But if you take kids along the charges are slightly different. Extra 1000/- rs per child. They provide breakfast, tea, snacks and dinner.

Home stay is located near Siddapura. Almost all the home stays are away from the main town - Madikere. All these are in estate areas away from the hustle bustle. You would have to travel min 12-20 km to get to Madikere or any tourist spot. If you do not have a vehicle Homestay is NOT an option.

Any other facilities like restaurants, medical stores etc are not found anywhere near by. All we could see was a small grocery shop. So carry your own first aid kid.

And what did we see?

After we reached the place we took bath and relaxed till 3 or 4 pm in the evening. Thanks to the estate, mobile signals were poor. The place really serves you well if that is your intent. To be away from being "connected". Raja's seat was the closest one we could visit and be back before it gets dark. Yes it is important to be back by max 7 pm as there is not good lighting to drive around the estates in Coorg. So usually we were back by 7 pm. To savour home made wine, watching the entire forest sleeping.

Rajas seat is the highest point from where you can look down entire stretch of Coorg. There is a fountain show, a garden. This is in Madikere town. All along you would find stores selling spices, honey, and different varieties of wine. I have never tasted such weird ones before. Beetle-nut wine, Hibisicus Wine, Coffee Wine - it is like they can make wine with anything and everything. We usually used to go for wine shopping on our way back to the Homestay; and they give 20-30 ml just for tasting. So yeah we were slightly tipsy by the time we reached Homestay :-P.

Next day we went to Golden Temple.  There are many tibetian restaurants in Buddhist monastery if one would like to take tibetian food. As we were not hungry yet( after sumptuous neer dosa served by the hosts @Homestay).  So we drove back to Madikere and after some shopping for honey etc we had lunch. One our way back, we covered Dubare Elephant Camp. We traveled at the end of April - there were rains in Bangalore but none in Coorg. So most of the falls/ rivers had no water. Same with the river at Dubare. There was little water, and people used to take boats to reach across to Elephant Camp. But now, they just walk through the waters to reach across.

Next day as everyone said TalCauvery is a must visits we drove almost 1 1/2 hrs to reach this place in scorching sun to this yet another hilltop. I was really disappointed with this place. It's a huge temple, well maintained but nothing really to see. Just water gushing out of a small hole into the pool in front. They say its the birth place of river Cauvery.

We did not really go to roam around Coorg. We really wanted to spend time away from the apartment, away from the kitchen, away from work. So we deliberately chose to drop many other places like Irupu Falls, Aby Falls, Omkareswara Temple etc. 

We lived like estate owners for those few days at Coorg ;-)

So? How was it?

I was so excited when I thought about staying in the middle of an estate amidst the coffee/ tea plantation. Coffee plantation there was more than 100 years old. Owners of this estate had nothing to worry about security. They keep their doors open even in the nights. Well, there was no proper road or lighting, even if some one had come to steal something or harm someone I don't think they could escape from the estate owner's, they had guns. And every evening the owner would train his two daughters in shooting. So guns are their protection. To protect them from wild animals than burglars. 

Food served by these people is authentic coorgi style. Everyday there would be  minimum 15 items for dinner. All marks go to the hospitality of the guests. They even come and sit with you in the evenings for a chat and tell you stories about the estate history or Coorg.

And for drives in the estates. Again, I hated them. The roads would go on turning and twisting with not even a single vehicle meeting you on the way. They would just go on. All you could see is 5 feet tall plantation on the sides of the roads. I really wonder how they laid the roads in the first place. They are pretty narrow, even though you know that there is no vehicle coming in the opposite direction you cannot go fast, if you did and there is really a vehicle coming, it gets tough. There is not much space really to accommodate.

And how about neighbors? Except the estate owner, his wife, his father and two daughters and us there was not one else to be seen for 20 kms. 

How could one live such a secluded life? I envied them for having so much land for themselves, apart from that I pitied them. Homestay was their way to stay connected to the world. To people. To life. Otherwise a person like me would die in that silence/ darkness. Only thing I liked there was you can sit in that darkness till late night and walk bare foot through out the estate not having to worry about anything. I realized THEN, that I like chaos, I like noise, I like busy, I like my life back at the city than in such a secluded isolated place for which you are the king or queen. I like to "belong" somewhere not "lost" somewhere.