Work Spouse

"Work Spouse" - I came across this word(s) or concept few years back in one of the episodes of "Grey's Anatomy". Though the fancy words amused me I thought its just a fictional concept in a fictional world. Not until I discovered that my husband has a work spouse and his name is "Seenu". He is so caught up with this guy, and talks so much to him, that even at home he addresses me "Seenu". Entertain your wits to guess what my response was to my husband when I was called "Seenu" ;-).

ADELE WEBBER What I want is for you to tell me the truth. Are you having an affair with my husband?

BAILEY I am not having an affair with your husband!

ADELE WEBBER I saw the way you handled him just now.

BAILEY Handled! I did not... handle... there was no handling... we work together.

ADELE WEBBER You spend every waking moment together, you finish each others sentences, you read each others minds. You're more married to that man than I am.

CALLIE Yeah, but that's just because they're husband and work-wife.

BAILEY Excuse me?

CALLIE The Chief's your work-husband and you're his work-wife. You look out for each other, you take care of each other, there's nothing wrong with it, it's like me and Sloan.

MARK Excuse me?

Anyways, so I started digging into this a little. And voila, there are so many articles mentioning this concept. Rules of having a work spouse, Risks and Rewards of having a work spouse and should I be jealous of my wife's work husband and such. You do not find the meaning for this phrase in usual dictionary, of course Urban Dictionary has everything. It seems this has been around since 1930's when a novel has this title. And which was later made a movie too. And such concepts only come out in public, in the west and though we do not admit I am damn sure such thing exists almost at every work place.

So what does a Work Spouse mean? It is a fancy term used to refer to a co-worker [ ,usually of the opposite sex], with whom an employee shares a close and platonic relationship. And this person can be the one with whom and only whom you go for lunch or coffee breaks, who looks out for you, advices you, a caretaker and a patient listener. This is the person you connect with , talk a lot to, relate to at par or better than that of your spouse at home.

Quoting from an article on the internet:

"Having someone you trust completely in the cubicle next door certainly has its advantages. That sort of close colleague may understand situations and anecdotes in a way your non-work friends or actual spouse may not.

It allows you to share and bounce ideas off somebody you trust," says Karsh, noting that someone with a work spouse may think twice before leaving that employer for a competitor because of the power of that relationship. "Coworkers are the unsung heroes of employee retention. "

Knowing the disadvantages of it, like say inappropriate sexual behavior, getting too personal and exclusive, being the office gossip am glad my husband's work spouse is of the same sex :-).

And studies have shown too that around 30% of people have work spouses. Wow! Like I said before there is a theory or an explanation to every possible thing on earth. If not a theory there is a fancy term.

Read the same on MouthShut.

Devious Maids

Also posted on MouthShut.

In the past eight months I have changed five maids. Yeah, each maid lasted less than 2 months on the average.

The first one.  I call her the Quite one. She is calm, does her work, minds her own business and hardly talks. Even when I try to strike a conversation with her. She does not complain of work either. She quit on her own as she was getting married. But she was damn good.Why do all good maids get married and go away?

Second - I call her the Demanding One.  I was damn frightened of her. She does not notice the days when there is absolutely no work, but sure she notices the days when there are guests and more work. Should I also complain of those days when she came and was done with her work in less than 20 mins? She took 17 days off in a month and yet complained that I do not let her go on leave during festivals. Yeah somehow she thought festivals days are those when I am supposed to clean the house and she is supposed to go on a vacation. On top of that, she had too many demands. A mobile, saree, etc all brand new. No she wont settle for any less. And yeah she had preference of brands for floor cleaner, dishwasher etc.

Third - I call her the Cat Lady. It was easy to let her go, as some stuff was disappearing every other day from my home. She was smart. Every week she used to take a day off, randomly. It would look like that. Some Mondays, some Fridays, some weekdays. Just one day in a week. And she made sure she was at work on weekends. Somehow no one noticed this ( including the other 7 apartments that she was working ). And the day she took off in each apartment was different. Eventually, I got to know her scheme from my discussions with fellow neighbors. Yet I did not mind. Cause a day in a busy week did not really matter as long as she came on weekends when I really cook at home. As long as she came back the next day the work did not get piled up. Till I noticed that my personal belongings were gone one fine day. And the next day she was fired.

Fourth, the Talkative one. This lady talks so much that it was a torture session for me everyday. She thinks I am her best buddy. And in the middle of all this sweet talk she would have evaded at least two chores that she is supposed to do. Basically this lady was way poor in standards when compared to other maids that I have ever had. I had to redo most of the work. And when questioned she very innocently says "no didi, this cannot be cleaned". And eventually I had to show her and do it myself. Does she learn? No, only I was getting tired of telling how to do her job. But she somehow created this emotional guiltiness within me that it was hard to fire her.

Yeah I did fire her as well. Firing...just saying it makes you feel powerful, isn't it?. Not true. It was awkward. Especially with the last one who somehow got my sympathy. Personal talks have THAT effect on you? I should probably try it at my work :-P ;-). To all of the maids that I fired( second, third and fourth) I lied. I did not tell them why exactly. I told all of them that different lies. Say I was going away for a while and will call you back when we are back, that I decided to do it on my own as its just two of us etc. Even with the maid that was stealing stuff from my house.


What does all this mean? That I make a good or bad boss?

Grandiose

Also posted on MouthShut.

I was reading this post with a funny yet curious title "Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy". What got the best of my curiosity are the words "Gen Y", "Unhappy". Somehow those two words in the same sentence was an oxymoron to me till I read this post.

Not quoting most of the post, am just rephrasing it here , Happiness = Reality - Expectations. Wow its THAT simple? An equation? That means you can work it out in favor of Happiness? True that many a times my expectations, ambitions seem like far from reality. Take for example winning MouthShut contests and being the first one since the contest started, to get ROD, FB and First ROD, makes me run a little longer and faster on the track of being a writer someday!

So why should one not think high? Aim high? Talk Big? Once owning a car was a big thing. Forget car, buying designer clothes was a big thing for me. Now all those seem so silly and not so great aspects of my life. So why not leap a little and dream BIG? Why should I really be worried that these plans might not work out?

I will tell you why. Most of the time, we live up to someone else's standards. All these social networking sites like Facebook give a bloated and grandiose life's of your friends, and half of them are lies. If someone is partying every other day then there seriously is some problem with that person, which is making his/ her life miserable and not worth living alone. I know many a people whose self-worth is defined by number of Like's and Comments they get on facebook. Guys go write, share your experiences, not in single words, nameless photos, status messages or emot icons. If you really want to share an experience write about it, talk about it, with a friend of yours who truly would be happy for you. I am more plugged in than I appear to be, but I prefer Quora to Facebook, MouthShut, Blogger to other social networking sites/ apps.

Secondly, SAS - Short Attention Span Syndrome. Yeah, yeah we all keep basking on these words "Follow Your Passion". But do we all truly know what our passion really is? Is it a passing fad or something very inherent in you? Is it based on your talent or your likes for it? It is easy to learn so many new skills these days - say cooking, photography etc. Buy a camera and you want to be a photographer. Buy a food processor and your a chef. All these can be hobbies. People really misunderstand between hobbies and passions. In times where keeping your attention is so hard, how can you keep your interests? Experiment everything but your passion will be something that you keep coming back to again and again. Even am not sure how to differentiate from my hobbies and passion(s).

Last, getting caught and sacrificing quality time with yourself does no good. Its a rat race at the end of it. Happiness is not an equation after all. All we care about is just winning, being better than someone else. In this generation there is an explanation for everything, if there is not an explanation then there is a fancy word to it. We are swamped with these theories, rules, equations, tags and at the end of it we are more confused if not happy.

Pasta with White Sauce

Ingredients:-

1. Cheese - 50 gms
2. Milk  - 200 ml
3. Corn Flour  - 2 tbsp
4. Butter - 50 gms
5. Pasta
6. Salt to taste
7. Olive Oil
8. Garlic
9. Onions 1
10. Peppers 1
11. Mushrooms
12. Pepper Powder

Preperation:-

1. Heat water with salt and 1/2 tbsp of oil. When it bubbles, add pasta to it.
2. Cook for 10-15 mins. Drain and run over cold water.
3. Heat Olive oil and add finely chopped garlic to it.
4. Add onions, peppers, Mushrooms. When saute keep them aside.
5. Heat butter in a pan. Add Corn flour and fry for 2 mins.
6. Add cheese and milk to this and cook with salt and pepper.
7. When this paste turns slightly thick add sauted veggies and pasta and cook for 2 mins.

Mirchi Bajji

Ingredients:-

1. Cumin Powder - 1/2 tbsp
2. Tamarind Pulp 2 tbsp
3. Sugar 1/4 tbsp or Jaggery
4. Salt to taste
5. Besan powder
6. Chillie Powder - 1/2 tbsp
7. Cooking Soda 1/4 tbsp
8. Oil
9. Banana Chillies - 6
10. Onions and Lemon for dressing

Preperation:-

1. For the stuffing mix cumin powder, salt, tamarind pulp and sugar and make a thick paste.
2. Cut banana chillies length wise and gently take off the seeds if any. Stuff these with the above paste.
3. Mix besan, chillie powder, salt and soda with water to make a think paste. You can add rice flour( 1 tbsp) to it as well.
4. Dip the stuffed chillies in this paste and fry them in boiling oil.
5. Dress them with sliced onions, lemon and cumin or pepper powder.

Jamie's Salad

I will name this recipe as Jamie's Salad, as I do not remember the recipe name. I watched this program "Jamies 15 mins" in TLC and guess why I love his program than other cooking shows( Nigellism, Exotic Everyday etc )? Cause you can cook awesome dishes just in 15 mins and he uses a lot of greens. Fresh, beautiful and delicious.

This salad that he prepared he used every possible greens and veggies that he could ever find plus smoked chicken and few exotic dressings. But I am limiting to these ingredients below:

1. Mayonnaise  4-5 tbsps
2. Fresh Sweet Corn - 1
3. Lettuce  - 200 gms
4. Carrots  - 250 gms
5. Cucumber - 2
6. Onions - 1
7. Pepper Powder - 2-3 tbps
8. Lemons (1)
9. Salt to taste
10. Yogurt  4-5 tbps
11. Pepper 1 red + 1 green

Dressing:-

1.  Add lemon juice to 4-5 tbsps of Mayonnaise. I llloooove American Garden Eggless
   
   Mayonnaise.
2. Add salt, pepper powder and yogurt to the above mix and your dressing is ready. If required you can add chilli flakes as well.

Preperation:-

1. Heat fresh corn on low flame for 5-7 mins. Take a knife and chop the sides, an easy to way to separate the corns.
2. Slice onions, peppers, lettuce, carrots, cucumber.
3. Mix all the above ingredients with the dressing.

Sear Fish Fry

I used to hate sea food. For the smell and for the fact that no matter with what you cook it does not catch the flavor. Well I was wrong till we visited this place "Grill Maximus" at HSR Layout, Bangalore. You get the best fish dishes here( Fish fingers, Fish and Chips, Grilled Fish). So we thought why not get used to eating fish food too. After all it is supposed to be a healthy food.

Yeah another reason why we were away from fish were those tiny small irritating bones that get caught in your throat. So we went to meat shop and asked for a fish that has no bones. And the guy suggested Sear Fish. Later we learnt that Sear Fish has the highest fat content :-(.

Anyways my first trial at cooking fish was a grand success. Here's the recipe, not a recipe really. I follow Nigella who cooks with all canned, and read-made stuff. So you get these fish fry masala in stores. Just Marinate with it and fry the fish over. Well, "documenting" the same,

Ingredients:-

1. Sear Fish - 500 gms
2. Fish Fry Masala
3. Lemon juice
4. Salt to taste
5. Oil to fry

Preperation:-

1. If you ask the meat shop guy to chop the fish for fry he will nicely slice it into thin pieces. With Sear fish you don't have to clean and no messy stuff at home at all.
2. Add 1 full lemon's juice, fish fry masala pack and marinate the fish for 1/2 hr.
3. You can add salt per your preference. 
4. Heat oil in a pan. I used Olive oil. And fry these pieces on medium heat.

Aloo Palak with Broccoli

Ingredients:-

1. Potatoes   - 200 gms
2. Broccoli   - 200 gms
3. Palak        - 2  big bunch
4. Tomatoe   150 gms
5. Onions     1
6. Garlic  - 4-5 cloves
7. Chillie Powder - 2 tbps
8. Coriander Powder - 1 tbsp
9. Garam Masal  - 1/2 tbsp
10. Ginger Garlic Paste 1 tbsp
11. Salt to taste
12. Oil

Preparation:-

1. Slice Broccoli and potatoe and boil them with salt.
2. Once they are boiled, drain and run them over cold water. This keeps the green color of broccoli.
3. Heat water with salt. Take a big bowl add spinach leaves to it and pour the boiling hot water over them. Cover this bowl for 5 mins so that the leaves get cooked.
4. Drain the water. Grind this into paste with garlic cloves.
5. Heat pan, add oil.
6. Fry sliced onions and when brown, add ginger-garlic paste.
7. Add sliced tomatoes and cook till tomatoes soften.
8. Add poatoes, broccoli and spinach paste to this.
9. Add Chillie powder, coriander powder and salt if required and cook for 5 mins.
10. Add garama masala at the end and cook for 1-2 mins.
11. Serve with pulka :-)
    
    
    

Pumpkin Curry

Ingredients:-

1. Pumpkin - 500gms
2. Onions -1
3. Red Dry Chillie 2
4. Curry Leaves 6-8
5. Mustard Seeds 1/4tbsp
6. Turmeric - pinch
7. Chillie Powder 2 tbps
8. Coriander Powder 1 tbsp
9. Amchoor Powder 1/2 tbsp
10. Salt to taste
11. Oil

 

Preperation:-

1. Peel the hard skin off the pumpkin. Chop them into small cubes,
2. Heat Oil. Add mustard seeds to it. When they splutter, add dry chillie, curry leaves and slices onions.
3. When onions on translucent add pumpkin cubes. 
4. Add rest of the spices and boil by adding enough water for the pumpkin to cook.
5. When pumpkin is cooked add Amchoor powder and cook for 5 mins.

Pumpkin Halwa

Ingredients:-

1. Pumpkin - 750 gms
2. Sugar      - 400 gms
3. Ghee      - 100 gms
4. Cashews - 50 gms
5. Raisins  - 50 gms
6. Ilachi pods  - 5
7. Milk - 3 tbsps

Preperation:-

1. Grate pumpkin after peeling the skin off.
2. Heat ghee in a pan and roast cashews and raisins.
3. Add grated pumpkin and milk and cook till pumpkin gets soft.
4. When pumpkin is cooked add sugar and ilachi powder.
5. Serve cold.
   

Egg and Drumsticks Leaves

Ingredients:-

1. Drumsticks leaves - 200 gms
2. Eggs - 4
3. Onions 2
4. Dry red chillie - 2
5. Green chillie - 6
6. Curry leaves 4-6
7. Mustard Seeds
8. Garlic pods 4
9. Salt to taste
10. Oil

Preperation:-

1. Boil drumstick leaves in water with salt. When they are 3/4 cooked drain the water and keep aside.
2. Heat oil in a pan and add mustard seeds for seasoning.
3. Add finely chopped onions, curry leaves, green chillies, red chillies, garlic and fry them till onions are golden brown.
4. Add eggs and fry for 3 mins.
5. Add leaves to the same and fry till the mixture gets dry.
6. Can be served with rice or chapathi.

Everyone Needs A Superhero

What a way to start a week? Made my day, a monday - My Blog got featured again. This post deserves getting featured than all of my other posts. I was a little disappointed when one of my latest post got featured but not this one. I thought it got all lost, and will be a history. There you go I do can pick controversial topics too and get rewarded for it than criticized. I do want to write a lot not just on usual stuff but burning matters, say the current situation in AP, the division of states etc. But always chose to play safe! May be this gives me an encouragement to give my opinions, views( when did I turn into an introvert from being an opinionated person? ). Did I change? When? How? Why? :-P

That was enough drama! :-P

So right now what is getting to my nerves is the situation in Andra Pradesh. In what minds was Sonia and her Party were, when they decided to divide the state into two? Were they so wasted when they took this decision? Why the hell should there be two states talking the same language, with same culture, but as two different entities? For generations now, these two states will always be rivals. They divided the state just for political reasons? I feel so helpless and confused with situations like these. And to top it up the strikes. There have been no schools, no transportation( road) services since months now. And now electricity board is on strike too.

Who is suffering cause of all this? Common people. My 80 year old grandmother and my Mother-in-law who needs regular health check-ups could not go see a doctor cause of these strikes. My sister's 2 months old baby is suffering cause of umpteen inconveniences  these strikes are causing. What happens to children's education if the schools stop teaching for more than 3 months? Would they postpone board exams too? Aren't they losing valuable time in their education? Is this how people chose to fight back? By not providing the services to their own people?

I for once feel violence is better than these cold wars. Let all those hot-headed men/ women fight to death and end this rather than months or years of these useless losers wars which only troubles common people than winning anything! Should I be happy that I no more live in a state like that? Should I be sorry that I am from such a state? Should I be worried that someday even this state that I live in, might get into such pitiable state?

Suppose I was living in such situations would I be sitting like this and ranting away on the internet? Can I do something? Will I? My hot-head sure says to do something. But would I really go ahead and do it? It is easy to say, but not so easy to actually do it. We always want that "someone" else who would fight for us, who would win battles for us.  Everyone needs a superhero, but no one wants to be one. Well, at least now, I do know what is happening to AP. It is looking for "The Dark Knight" to rise and save it.

I keep watching these Super-hero movies over and over. Every time they are played on TV. Every time! And I get goosebumps each time watching these hero's. All these politicians like Jagan, have so much money, so much power so if they really want to save the world why not be a super-hero, rather than a politician? Why to get into messy politics and become a victim instead? Choose your own way of fighting, choose your own battle field, and play your own game?

You can read my rantings here as well.