Dilemma

How can you like and dislike the same person? Strange! Or am I confused? Fooled? This is happening to me again. Most of my best relationships have started on fights. Komal, my childhood best friend at the age of 10 yrs, was my enemy to start with. And today she is the first friend in my life that I remember. Shanti/ Sirisha, my college friends, I hated them initially. They were the people I dreaded to end up being friends with. 

But right now am going through a dilemma, I hate this person for her/ his morals, value system or whatever you call it. I do not like the way s/he behaves or thinks, like people who have given up in their lives. Who just want to blend in with something. Who constantly want to please the other person, even though they do not mean it. Who are basically questionable when it comes to trusting them. I like people who are bold, straight forward. Who are in other words 'what you see is what you get'.

Anyways, coming back to my dilemma, I don't know what I like in this person. The basic trait of pleasing everyone around is appealing to me? I don't think so. I can make out what is phony. Then am I hoping that deep down this person there is a kind, gentle, sympathetic, friendly heart that is true? But why? Is this what you attribute to astrology? :-P

My experience or history says am eventually going to ignore all these negativity and end up being friends with this person and repent later for my decision on compromising on my values. Nope, not again....Why the hell do I need to trust someone? You will know by the end of this post, why!

What do I like in this person:

1. Smile 

2. Soft, gentle nature [ Which is very dubious to me ]

3. Knows exactly how to please a person, any person for that matter. Which is a worthy talent

4. Knows exactly what is the other person's weakness. Ha ha ha, not figured mine yet

What do I don't like in this person:

1. Pushover personality, not energetic, chooses least resistant path

2. Selfish, who is not?!

3. Not truthful or honest

4. Unstable mentality

5. Looks down on women...there you go...yes the person in question is male :D

6. Favors mediocrity, I have no idea why?

7. Political mind

I better stop here, else the list of things I don't like will keep growing and THAT is not good for me. Yes, unfortunately not liking this person is not an option for me :'-(, the reason why I need to workaround this matter and clear the mess in my brain.