Hyderabad blues...

Hyderabad....I hade been to this place almost three years before. I came here after my btech for GRE coaching. Then I came to this city with lots of hopes to fly abraod for higher studies, then nothing seemed to be important for me other than my further studies. Most of my classmates were busy searching for jobs. But for me and Shanti everything was after MS in USA. We were very confident that we wud definitely do well in GRE and get placed in reputed universities. All our future plans were filled with the obsession of going to a phantasy world ....the only pinch that we had was that we wud be missing our parents and friends. Those two and a half months were memorable. Right out of the college days with many aspirations, without any knowlegde of the world around, filled with lot of enthu that made us think that anything is possible, all that we need is grit. Never new that lil bit of fate too is required. Shanti and I planned for many things together, hued our world with
amny colors.....today am again in hyderebad but with a different purpose and with no future plans, no friends around me. Earth is round and the world is small. I keep visiting the same places and same people many a times in my life.





I never thought that I wud be in touch with most of my classmates, but wud miss the ones who are very dear to me. Once friendship used to matter a lot to me but now it just doesnt hold any special place in my day-day life. I meet many people in my dialy life. But none of these hold a lasting realtionship with me. Yeah now I should not expect for any more lasting relationships. Sometimes this makes you feel free or not being (emotionally)dependant on any one. You like to spend time with someone you
just do it and if you dont want them to disturb you, you have your own freedom to enjoy the solitude. Solitude or austerity???? Am I getting confused between these two....cause nothing interests me these days.I love to be alone lost in my thoughts. No brooding over the past, no planning for the future. Zus idly thinking about what you want, without others influence on ur thinking. Or is it that I have become selfish or egocentric? I need some one to share my sorrows, someone to crib about my problems at work, but when it comes to other mattes I want to be alone. How selfish I am? Does everyone feel the same or is it only me thinking that way.

When I came to Hyderabad on my job in the first month I desperately wanted to get married so that I can run away from here, so that I will have some one to crib about my problems. But now I dont find that need. Its not because things at work have changed but it might because I got accustomed to it or is it that I don have enough time to crib about things. For me marriage just seems to be a silly temporary solution for my problems. Once they get solved I no mroe think about it. God...save the poor chap if my perception about marriage remains the same :).....But not in the near future that i want to get married. Probably I need some time to really decide on what 'sharing' means to me. otherwise I wudn't be doing favor neither to me nor the one whom am getting married to.