Some one today, when I wished them happy weekend replied back saying "multiply your happiness". I did not know what he meant, but usually they mean kids when they say that. Being a mother is something that I always wanted to be. My strong maternal instincts is what pushed me to get a pet. But lately I have been thinking that I have built too many boundaries around me without my knowledge. For almost an year we did not travel anywhere cause of my pet.
He is like a kid who constantly needs my attention, care and most importantly my time. He at times becomes too much for me. All these days I was able to manage him cause of my Mom. But NOW, I do not think I can manage all of this AND my job the same time.
I seriously think and have been hearing from people that kids may multiply your happiness but they also divide it, not both operations by the same amount though. I was in an illusion that am a good multi-tasker, but not really. I can only focus on one thing at a time. And when am on something am 200% on it that rest of the world seems oblivion to me. And kids into my life? Wow, the thought scares me! I used to love kids, but unruly kids just irritate me. Now I do not even touch those mean little things. I should be the meanest person to say this, I know ;-(.
Its not even an year and everyone around me is expecting the next big thing to happen to me. Why are all of them always on deadlines? I know the biological clock is ticking, but why should life be on a run? We both surely have a long way to reach there. I wonder how people are having their second kids and all.
I just need a breather, I just need to ease off from these expectations, peer-pressure, milestones and what not. I want to be just happy, not happiness multi-fold. I am already feeling old. I want to be young talking absolute nonsense, irresponsible and dreamy, lost in a world of imagination than reality.
He is like a kid who constantly needs my attention, care and most importantly my time. He at times becomes too much for me. All these days I was able to manage him cause of my Mom. But NOW, I do not think I can manage all of this AND my job the same time.
I seriously think and have been hearing from people that kids may multiply your happiness but they also divide it, not both operations by the same amount though. I was in an illusion that am a good multi-tasker, but not really. I can only focus on one thing at a time. And when am on something am 200% on it that rest of the world seems oblivion to me. And kids into my life? Wow, the thought scares me! I used to love kids, but unruly kids just irritate me. Now I do not even touch those mean little things. I should be the meanest person to say this, I know ;-(.
Its not even an year and everyone around me is expecting the next big thing to happen to me. Why are all of them always on deadlines? I know the biological clock is ticking, but why should life be on a run? We both surely have a long way to reach there. I wonder how people are having their second kids and all.
I just need a breather, I just need to ease off from these expectations, peer-pressure, milestones and what not. I want to be just happy, not happiness multi-fold. I am already feeling old. I want to be young talking absolute nonsense, irresponsible and dreamy, lost in a world of imagination than reality.
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