I Cannot Die Washing Up A Tea Cup

I do not call myself a feminist, but I try to watch every movie that is made on women. Watched this movie "The Iron Lady", one cause its a movie based on a woman and two cause one of my favorite actress Meryl Streep got an Oscar for the Best Actress. I did not so much like Margaret Thatcher as such. Whatever she is or she was I did not like the way she declared war against Argentina. May be I did not read it right from the movie, blame the director!

What caught was this one line - "I cannot die washing up a tea cup", when Denis proposes her. She says, "I will never be one of those women Denis - who stays silent and pretty on the arm of her husband. Or remote and alone in the kitchen doing the washing up for that matter. One's life must matter. Beyond all the cleaning, cooking and the children, one's life must matter more than that.".

I want to be more than a daughter, a wife, or a mother. Will I be? Have I already past the age where I could be more than all of these? Have I missed that chance already? Would my life matter? I seriously seriously want to write a book someday. One thing I want to do before I die. I want to be something, someone - important. Not just to my family and friends but to the world. Hope me being ambitious does not affect my life in a bad way. Likewise, hope my ambitions do not die off in the mist of family responsibilities. 

I cannot blame this major change in my life  - marriage; for being  skeptical about my dreams. Cause apart from getting a comfortable life and a successful career I have not done anything great or exciting so far in my single life either. Why? Fear of what lies at the end of the road? Fear of moving out of comfort zone? 

Lately, am taking good enough risks. House. Marriage. I learnt dance just cause I love dancing but never thought of performing on stage and coming Monday am performing for the third time in my life ( yeah if you consider those school day dance shows :-P ). May be someday I will have enough courage to publish my own book. Someday!