To A Friend

I enrolled for driving classes in 2008 when I booked my car. It was a crash course for 10 days for an hour per day. First seven classes were taught and later 3 classes were taught right before the driving license test. I did not have the car then. All I could practice was with the vehicle that was provided by driving school. Within 5 days I was racing. Instructor was so impressed. Managed to get driving license. And I was dying to get hands on my own car and thought I do not need rest of the 5 practice classes! How delusional!

On the first day I went to the showroom to get the car - I did not drive it. I was so scared! Eventually someone drove it for me and got caught for crossing the speeding limit but could get a ticket as there was no registration number yet. Totally, not so great memories of owning a car. That evening when I tried to drive back home, realized I did not know driving at all. There were vehicles coming from every possible direction as if no one was following traffic rules, especially two-wheelers. People were cursing me for driving dead slow and adding to the traffic jam. And heavy vehicles seemed to be coming for me, to crush me, to kill me. On top of it I did not want a scratch on my brand new car before I show it to my Mom. And road suddenly seemed shrunk to 1/4 of its width. What a horror it was!

It was so easy to drive when someone else was there to control. When someone else was sitting right next to you, whom you can blame or who would support you or who would rescue you from accidents. That day, I was all alone. I felt like leaving the car right in the middle of the road and run away. Away from driving it. After that my car was sitting in the basement of my office for 2 months. I still was going back home by a rick. And I regretted buying a car.

Few people at office tried to help me teach driving, but they gave up for lack of patience( not from my side). Well, in their defense, I knew only one gear - second. Even till date I don't honor the speed-breakers and their purpose. And then I asked this friend of mine Appy( Arpan Srivatsava) and we made a deal. Everyday I would drop him back to home. All he has to do was sit there next to me and be there. He was my actual (driving) teacher. He taught me how to drive. Not only on the road but in life. He has been my biggest support for many years when I needed it the most. He was my well-wisher whom I can count on anytime, blindly. These words that he told me many times, keeps echoing over and again - "You may be on the right track, and following all the rules, but the other person might not. But when an accident happens both of you are damaged. So keep looking out for not only your mistakes but others too and play smart". Likewise life is not fair but being prepared for it makes you win. How could someone so younger to me, know so much about life than I do?

He knew how to appreciate people, value them and most importantly cherish them. He left the company for higher studies and he has been working in a different city. But all these years he kept in touch and meets us once in an year in the month of December. Every single year. Even though I love friends and value them the most as a family, I find it hard to manage or meet them. It took 6 months to meet my best friend who lives 15 kms away. But this guy, living thousands of kms away he manages to meet all of his friends. Guess we need such people in our lives. Arpan is the third friend of mine who is mentioned in my blog( after Bindu & Shanthi).

Today am a happy person and I feel am lucky. Stronger. And a good driver[ ,in spite of the scientific data that says women are bad drivers cause they have bad reflexes]. I should thank him for bringing all these, plus the "Confidence" in me, which will stay for long...and hopefully forever.

It is impossible for me to wish you all the good things, without mentioning all the good/ best things that you taught me and be thankful for all of those. Wishing you and Pooja the best of everything on your wedding.

Wish I could share this post with you so that I can avoid bringing a gift to the wedding :-P. On a serious note I have trouble showing my appreciation, and the biggest victim of it is my dearest husband. So you are getting a gift but not this post. Can't wait to meet you and Pooja, and all other good old buddies...Happy Married Life. I am sure for a person like you Gods of All the Worlds will be with you and take care of you :).

Fall Of Gratitude

I stumbled upon this well known old mythological story of Bhasmasura and it really looked like an altogether a brand new story. How the same story can change with different perceptions.

Anyhoo, the story goes like this. Bhasmasura an asura wanted to be the most powerful and greatest of all the kings. But he lacked both the strength and courage to be so. So with Narada's advice he starts praying Lord Shiva. After many years Lord Shiva( also known as Bhola Shankar, one who gets carried away easily), pleased appears in front of Bhasmasura. Asura asks him to grant him immortality. When Lord Shiva says its not in his hands to do that, he asks for a power that if he touches anyone's head he would be burnt to ashes. Lord Shiva grants this boon to him. But wicked Bhasmasura with his eyes on Lord Shiva's wife Parvathi, tries to use his power on Shiva. Eventually he is saved by Lord Vishnu disguised as a beautiful woman Mohini. Bhasmasura so mesmerized by Mohini forgets his boons and places his hand on his own head, which burns him to ashes.

Well, little gratitude might have saved Bhasmasura. I strongly believe that a person who does not know what gratitude means deserves nothing. Absolute nothing. Why do people forget where they came from? How many hands they reached out to? If one cannot remember the path they tread from his/ her own life, how far can s/he go? I guess not so far! I tend not to be in debt or in obligation to anyone very cautiously for the same reason. For the fear that someday I like everyone,  might miss this, ignore everything/ everybody and gloat in my success thinking its all mine. After all, to err is human, but I am not a saint who would believe in that.

I think people really lost this gesture. They have become callous, that all the good things that happened to them are just because s/he is awesome. They just think they "deserve", that they are "entitled" or that they are "privileged". In spite of all those things that happen, they are never really happy.  They are nothing but ignorant and arrogant. Nice rhyming words :-p. They are so many other things apart from these.

On the contrary there are cases where one has to regret doing the good deed in the first place. My maid works in another apartment and they gave her kids brand new set of clothes on the occasion of Diwali. She comes to me and says "who knows what bad deeds they are trying to wash off by donating these clothes to us". Wow! Is "giving" so misinterpreted. This is a case where she does not think she or her kids "deserve" those new clothes but judges the giver. I am sure Lord Shiva might have had regrets too for granting the boon to the asura, well he is GOD and they have no such things. But I have had many situations where I regretted helping someone. Did I not establish already that am no saint and not expecting gratitude is not my thing. If expecting gratitude is one thing,  getting bitten for helping someone is another thing.

Is this a rant? A preaching? Or is it both? Whatever it is don't you think people out there "deserve" it?:-p. Can read the same on MouthShut.