Boredom as a Motivator?

Q: What motivates me?
A: Boredom

I have been less passionate than I used to be. At work, personal life or many other things. And I was thinking why? The answer is - busy. I have been so busy for an almost an year that I have little time to think. In the past, I did something new, or something drastic only when I was bored to death. From things like cooking a new recipe to learning difficult language like Japanese. I did all these things cause I had plenty of time, and that I was basically bored with life :-P.


Especially at work too. In my first job I was on bench( or jobless) for a week and that is when I took up this course( learn perl in 5 days ) and ironically PERL coding has become my major skill. I constantly have this urge to learn. Learn new things. Be it coding, be it in arts or be it entirely a new skill that I just want to try my hands on. So I guess ( boredom + student in me ) are biggest motivations.

I figured this after I had my mid-year career discussion with my Boss. I could not have possibly given him these reasons, even if I figured them earlier. All other reasons that we discussed today - like, perks, recognition, challenges, collaboration are really nice corporate terms. These are really not motivators, but the outcomes of a job well done. What really triggers a person, is I guess different from person to person, or the same - TIME?

Hell with others, but to me I need more pep talks. I need to talk. I need people around me with whom I can discuss possibilities. All I hear from office colleagues is about impossibilities or their personal stuff. And at home, I have not enough time to even discuss the basic things that are needed to run a family. Where did all the time go? Where are 24 hrs in a day? Marriage, Sis's marriage, Leo's health, my health, house...can I ask for my life to be a little less eventful?

I have to be a time table again. I need to count each hour, I need to find that lost TIME, I need to BE.

Love Is In The Air

Your heart flutters. Your head spins. You go dizzy. Only thing you can see is his face and only thing you can hear is your name from his mouth. You are spell bound under his magic that sweeps you off the ground.

                   This is what I learnt from all the romantic novels, movies. Things that happen to you when you meet "The One", for the first time. Did I spend my whole life looking for these signs? God no! I met Vinod exactly an year back on this day and none of this happened to me.

All that I felt on that day was - Comfort. I was in absolute ease with myself in his presence. May be I(my heart) already knew. Yeah being filmy again. All the questions I had, just ran out of the back door of my mind. It was as if we knew each other( well again, not from past lifes, like they say in the books/ movies :-p). Its just a feeling of familiarity.
                                   
                                     I never believed in that Love just happens in an instance. It grows on you. I am sure you would not have started loving your own sibling on day one. I remember hating my siblings till I was...ummm,  well old enough to get out of college. I wanted to be the only one to my parents. I hated sharing everything with them. I wanted the entire world I knew just to myself. I still don't understand when I started liking them and caring for them. I still don't know if I do it cause of the same genes in our blood or cause of having lived together for many years. Actually we started caring for each other only when we started living away from home, from each other.

                                                                                         Coming to romantic love that happens between opposite sex, especially in arranged marriages - I think people try to adjust, compromise, sacrifice to stay together, not out of love but cause of the promises made. Be it to each other, to the family, to the society. As if it is a bond never to be broken, if broken they are shunned by everyone around them. Few eventually give up trying to keep the promises and few succumb. To talk about love marriages - they are no different from arranged marriages. The story just begins a bit early, that is the only difference.

I am neither a modern nor a traditional woman.  At times I am so dumb that I cry while watching a romantic movie and at times I am as adamant that I can drive people around me crazy, that they start to hate me( not for a long time though ;-) ). Amidst my wavering personalities,  I do stand firmly on few  - "Sacrifice" should never be the pretext to love. Respect is an important aspect of a healthy relation and Comfort is the most important factor. And the rest will flow...in time, with time.

It's Valentines Week and Love is everywhere. Looking back this time last year, I attended one of my colleague kids birthday party. I went alone to that event and for the first time I did not wanted to be a bachelor anymore and I too wanted to go with someone. And since then I have never been alone and thanks to Vinod for that, for coming into my life.