Setting herself free from...

Part I Entrancing
It was a saturday. And it was raining heavily.

School gets over by 3 pm on saturdays and there would be sports classes after that.But cause of rain they were cancelled and they were let to go home. Everyone were happy as the next day would be a sunday. No need to do any homework as you have one long sunday for that! Postponing that task till sunday evening or monday morning!

She wanted to go back home and play around with her friends. Waiting for the rain to calm down so that she can go home. Cursing the rain cause her mother would not allow her to play in the rain. She heard her friends saying that its great getting drenched in the rain but she herself never did that. Her friends too were waiting with her. It was more than a half an hour that they were watching the rain drops dribbling. Parents of few kids came to the school to pick up their children. She knew that her father will not come to pick her up as he works in another town and he himself would have been caught up in the rain.

But she was not thinking of any of these things..she was not even thinking of the games that she would be palying when shez back home...she was not even thinking of her homework...She was ...with one thought..and that was how would it be to get drenched in the rain. Same thought striked her friend too, and finally they decided that they will reach home inspite of the rain. Their intention was not to reach home but to play in the rain. Rain was entrancing her...

First time...showered with the drops of rain...she had nice fun with her friends. It was a great adventurous event for her. They were not worried about the people around them who were running helter-skelter from rain. They were happy that it rained and were hoping for it not to stop till they reach home.

It was the end of such an elated, jubilant journey. She reached home finally. She forgot all about her world and she returned home gleefully. But her mother was not in the same mood. Her mother was schocked to know that she has come home in such a heavy rain. Later that evening the same thing was complained to her father and her father beat her for doing that. But poor SHE...she did not think that getting wet in rain is such a sin and that she would be punished that way for that. She did never think that it would be taken so seriously by her parents. It was like her mother would support her if her father was angry with her and her father would support her if her mother was angry with her. But that day both her father and mother were scolding her. That night she did not have her dinner...she wept to herself and made a promise to her that she would never again get wet in rain.

Things were normal the next day...and the climate too was normal the next day...but for her there was a great change...she never again dared to come home in rain. She started hating rain since then....hatred out of fear...fear of disturbing her mother again...fear of having to face her father's fury...fear of not able to face this from her parents, fear of desolation from them. From school to college, college to the world, in the world as a person staying away from parents, in search of a bright career, she has been hearing from her friends, companions, colleagues...many saying/ talking about rain. She can see the joy in their eyes when it rains...but for her it would remind her of that night where she wept alone. Rainy day would be the worst day for her...it had a very bad psychological effect on her that every rainy day she would feel lonely, dejected and irritated.

Part II Embracing...

It was raining again...she was so busy the whole day but was satisifed that at the end of the day she was done with the work. She can go back home peacefully. But this was not the case with her. Damn thing it was raining...though it was already late she sat back and was waiting for the rain to stop. Finally she decided to go home, thinking that the rain would not stop.

She came out cursing rain...but strangely she was not feeling lonely...her immediate subject matter was to reach hostel as soon as possible. She got into the auto and due to trafiic rules had to get down at a place from where she had to walk down to her hostel. She hurried to cross the road and now she was in the same isolated, most of the times empty lane that she takes everyday back to her hostel. There were few people hurrying to reach their homes, few standing at the bus stop sheltering themselves from the rain.

She suddenly slowed down...she slowed down to walk at a relaxed pace, to stop and look at the hurried world around. To look at inner-self.

She was letting the rain embrace her. Thousands of rain drops kissed her face. Those drops questioning her why she had to hate them for so many years. Why is that she felt lonely when it was raining? Why was it they were looked at with contempt? She veritably has a peaceful comfortable life and like any other human being she should enjoy the rain. Now those rain drops were slapping her face with these questions trying to wake her up. Those rain drops were washing off her hallucinations, wiping of the brinks that she has set to herself.

She was set free...set free from her rules, from her trammels, from her self-effacing, from her timidness, from her limitations, from her oaths to herself. She was set free from the umbrella of that was sheilding her from the love and happiness of the nature to embrace her.

She finally realized that there were no one who could constrain her apart from herself.

As a Teacher to the Last

Morrie Schwartz used to say that he wanted to be remembered as "a teacher to the last."

Morrie worked as a professor for 35 years, teaching sociology to students at Brandeis University. But in the last year of his life, he taught anyone and everyone -- family, friends, colleagues, journalists -- how to live a meaningful life, and how to die with no regrets. After being diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) in the summer of 1994, he decided to make the act of dying another educational opportunity: The living would learn from his experience with death. He belived in the truth,

"once you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

He is best known by the book "Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson" written by one of his former students Mitch Albom. Mitch Albom one of Morries favorite students looses touch with his professor after his graduation. He settles down in his life as sports journalist though he wanted to be a famous musician. And later on he was burried with accomplishments, meeting deadlines at his work.

Albom actually finds out that his old professor is dying when he sees Ted Koppel interviewing Schwartz on "Nightline". Albom bemoans his own life with lines like, "I wrote articles about rich athletes who, for the most part, could not care less for people like me," or "My days were full, yet I remained, much of the time, unsatisfied."

In the process of getting to know himself he regularly meets Morrie on tuesdays.
They used to discuss subjects every tuesdays trying to answer many of the philosophical questions that so many of us ask ourselves (or should be asking ourselves) about life, work, community, relationships, aging, and death. These discussions led to the book "Tuesdays with Morrie", in which Mitch quotes,



"Have you ever really had a teacher? One who saw you as a raw but precious thing, a jewel that, with wisdom, could be polished to a proud shine? If you are lucky enough to find your way to such teachers, you will always find your way back."


If we're all so smart, then why aren't more of us happy? That was a question that Morrie was happy to wrestle with. Happiness, he said, comes from figuring out what gives your life purpose and then devoting yourself with passion to that purpose. For Morrie, that defining passion was teaching. Happiness comes from opening up to people, emotions, and experiences. For Morrie, the key experience was dancing, always dancing. But happiness also comes from knowing and accepting your limitations and imperfections. For Morrie, the key limitation was his body, which grew weaker as ALS limited his ability to walk, to feed himself, to breathe freely.


"Have you found someone to share your heart with? Are you giving to your community? Are you at peace with yourself?" The biggest mistake that most people make, Morrie said, is being shortsighted. "One hundred and ten years from now no one who is here now will be alive," he wrote. "When you look at it that way, you can see how absurd it is that we individualize ourselves with our fences and hoarded possessions."

If the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it. Create your own. Most people can’t do it.
But Morrie did it. Walks with friends, discussions, reading books, Greenhouse activities, visiting coworkers, having contacts with old students, marvelling the nature ...this was part of his culture.

Laugh at yourself, Morrie urged. Forgive yourself for not doing the things that you should have done. He didn't pine for lost youth: "You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward."

Much of his advice may seem like common sense. Yet people often fail to act on such common sense, Morrie said, because they're either sleepwalking or sprinting their way through life. Dying provides the kind of clarity that people need earlier in life but usually lack, Morrie said. Why not practice that greater awareness in your daily life now? "We're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going," he wrote. "So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? ... Dying is only one thing to be sad over.... Living unhappily is something else."



To me books have been my best teachers, "Tuesdays with Morrie" being one among them. This article is almost a translation to the one published in Eenadu paper as a tribute on Teachers Day: Sep 5, Page 4
Also thanks to few of my friends who have been obliquely teachers to me.

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."

DBNJ

I got up at 6 in the morning not waiting for the alarm to wake me up. It was much awaited sunday! I have been looking for this day. I was very eager to visit this place, DBNJ. A place for street kids...where they are sheltered and educated. I was very proud that I have adopted a child and now that I was going to visit those kids personally. But it was not too long that I had to belittle myself. There were so many people who contributed to such a noble cause. Not alone me! There were many who also personally helped or involved in such projects. I was just nothing and the help that I did was just a monetary help. I felt that there was no reason for me to be so proud of what I did. Many a times I just have this feeling that I have done a great job. But was I able to really help a kid? Was I able to personally help an orphan kid. Those kids there, do not know who were their parents. All that they remember is the railway station that they were brought up.

The kids there were very friendly and discplined. Though they did not know me they wished me with a smile. Each smile told me that you could have done more or you could do more. The moment I leave that place they would forget me. Can I do more to have an attachement with them? How would they feel to know that theres really some good friend whom they could count on! Someone who visits them quite often? I remember those days of my childhood where we used to be joyous on knowing that some relative is gonna visit us!

Am a good thinker but not an implementor. Thatswhere one is differentiated from others. Evryone can think but only few can achive/ implement what they think/ dream.