Wednesday, July 17, 2013

10 Years Journey Into....

Last sunday, the July 14th, 10 years back I reluctantly joined IT field. Cause my Dad suddenly declared that he cannot sponsor my higher studies abroad. So I was asked to work for few years earn and sponsor my own studies. For almost 8 months( yes, I clearly remember for how long, cause I was counting each and every day), into my career all I cherished was my I20. I just was waiting for a day to leave. To fly. To reach the sky. To soar.

Even in school and college days when I thought of my career I did not think about a steady job that pays for my bills and loans. This was never my idea. I always wanted to be a student. A scientist :-). Well, in which specialization again, I did not know, all I wanted was to be a scientist, doing some kind of research, analysis. Even till date I exactly do not know what these titles are for, in reality.

Now, 10 years into my career, I no more have the same energy or passion for studies. Or may be I lack motivation or the environment. Once in a blue moon, I get inspired by one of my friends, and I seriously think of doing a management course. I send out mails to institutes and I collect all the data and keep it. Call people and gather information.  Just keep it! Tucking it safely behind the back of my mind. I do not know why I do that.

Life changes so much since school. Since college. No one tells you this. Even since day 1 of my career, life has changed so much. Different sets of friends, acquaintances. I really miss my first job and the first few friends that I made in this field. A bunch of 10 people, 0-1 yrs experienced. All of us were so alike. So much. In many ways. None of us had long-term plans in that job, yet we worked 18-20 hrs every single day including weekends. Few of us were sleeping in office itself. No complaints. No cribbing. As if all of us had no life outside office? Was it true? Nope. Half of us had BFs/ GFs, but all of us had deadlines. Now I wonder how the hell did we balance work and life back then, and how now we need classes, sessions to teach us the same? And how did we enjoy our work though no one based their life's on it? What changed since then?

So at the end of 1.3 yrs when I realized there is more to learn through experience than from education I gave up on my higher studies( completely?). I decided to move on to a different company without any second thoughts. One fine day I decided am done here. I did not care a bit about all those friends I made or did not worry that I was moving further away from my home town. Just on the instincts that I love change I made this decision. It was not a hard decision. My teammates thought money is the reason why am moving. But that WAS the case with my second jump but not the first.

And then priorities kept changing without me realizing them. But no regrets whatsoever. However to take a decision today, I really have to become a scientist to do so. Evaluate, analyze, think long-term, this, that. I have changed from a person who acts on her instincts to a person who needs a best algorithm to reach from point A to point B, corroborated by logic and facts. Everything that I do even mundane things like cooking, groceries, has to go through a calculation[ yeah I tried 4 ways of cooking plain rice and chose the best, on what parameters is yet another topic :-P ]

On introspecting, probably facts, data and LOGIC are the only things I have TRUST in. Do I at least trust myself enough?!  Or the people who really have trust in me? No...not again...not another loop of infinite thoughts. So I rest it here.

Happy 10th Work Anniversary to Me! Yay! [ Oh my God, does that make me old? :-P ]

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