Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Desire

"An emperor was coming out of his palace for his morning walk when he met a beggar.He asked the beggar, "What do you want?"

The beggar laughed and said, "You are asking me as though you can fulfil my desire!"

The King was offended. He said, "Of course I can fulfil your desire.What is it? Just tell me."

And the beggar said, "Think twice before you promise anything." The beggar was no ordinary beggar, he was the emperor's past life master. He had promised in that life, "I will come and try to wake you in your next life. This life you have missed but I will come again." But the King had forgotten completely- who remembers past lives? So he insisted, "I will fulfil anything you ask. I am a very powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I can not give to you?

The beggar said, "It is a very simple desire. You see this begging bowl? Can you fill it with something?"

The emperor said, "Of course!" He called one of his viziers and told him, "Fill this man's begging bowl with money." The vizier went and got some money and poured it in to the bowl, and it disappeared. And he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would disappear. And the begging bowl remained always empty.

The whole palace gathered. By and by the rumour went throughout the whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the emperor was at stake. He said to his viziers, "If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar."

Diamonds and pearls and emeralds, his treasures were becoming empty. The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was put in to it- everything! - immediately disappeared, went out of existence. Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing there in utter silence. The King dropped at the feet of the beggar and admitted his defeat. He said, "Just tell me one thing. You are victorious- but before you leave, just fulfil my curiosity. What is the begging bowl made of?"

The beggar laughed and said, "It is made up of the human mind. There is no secret. It is simply made up of human desire."

This understanding transforms life. Go in to one desire- what is the mechanism of it? First there is great excitement, great thrill, adventure. You feel a great kick. Something is going to happen, you are on the verge of it. And then you have the car, you have the yacht, you have the woman, and suddenly all is meaningless again.

What happens? Your mind has dematerialised it. The car is standing in the drive, but there is no excitement any more. The excitement was only in getting it. You became so drunk with the desire that you forgot your inner nothingness. Now the desire is fulfilled, the car in thedrive, the woman in your life, the money in your bank account- again excitement disappears. Again the emptiness is there, ready to eat you up. Again you have to create another desire to escape this yawning abyss.

That's how one moves from one desire to another desire. That's how one remains a beggar. Your whole life proves it again and again- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire.

The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life.

The other journey is inwards. Move inwards, come back home "

In school days the desire of standing first in the class so that you would get what your parents have promised to buy for you at the end of the academic year, the desire of having the best collection of dolls when compared to ur close pal, desire of playing with friends without any timelimit, desire of travelling on school trips, desire for dance, desire of spending summer holidays with ur relatives.

In college days the desire of standing first in the class not for what your parents have promised to you, but with the intention of standing apart from the rest/ average, desire of having as many friends as you can have, desire of being boss of the show, desire of having your wardrobe up to date, desire for dance/ music, desire for higher studies abroad, desire of dreamin to be The Best, The Perfect, The Successful one day, desire of travelling beyond the horizons.

In professional life, the desire to learn so as to stand the competition, desire for recognition, desire to show your parents/ friends your success, desire for owning a library, desire for owning a sweet little home, a car, a sweet family, and to bee too greedy company(ies) of my own, desire of travelling abroad( especially europian countries) not on work but as a pleasure trip, desire of having 'just' enough money to spend lavishly without the question of savings, desire of travelling on water, desire of being a free bird with no one to impose rules on you.



These have been some of my desires till now. My desires have not changed cos I got bored of them or the desire has been fulfilled. Some of my desires are left as I cudn't achieve them or I did not have time for them. Some of them to be frank, I got bored of them. There is nothing that I cherished for a long time. I get bored of anything and everything so soon. That is why I do not have any long-term plans as who knows what would be my desire tomorrow. I am not able to predict myself. Am neither happy nor sad for achieving/ not achieving these desires. As with time the excitment dematerializes or disappears.
But the only thing that keeps me going is just me, my world. World with no future plans, world with no responsibilties, no priorities, no regrets, no rules. World with simple joys. But still working on a desire that would keep your excitment for a lifetime.


Sunday, May 08, 2005

Mother

You were there as a teacher to correct me
But I detested you for pointing out my mistakes
You were there as a guide to warn me
But I hated you for showing me the right way
You were there as a friend to advise me
But I ignored you for telling me what I need to know
You were there as a mother to protect me
But I despised you for being possesive about me

Though it took time to understand your love
am happy finally that you forgave us.
I know theres nothing in this world
as great as your forgiveness, as pure as your love for us.
I owe my life to all the pain and perseverance
you have taken to see us as ur reflections.

I hope you will be there with me in most
of the best and happiest moments in my life
Cos I see my success through your eyes.
I hope you will be there with me for the rest of my life
Cos I seek my happiness from you.

I love you "Ma".

Thursday, May 05, 2005

A Special Day

There were many mails floating today saying that today is gonna be a special day, 05-05-2005 and watch out for the time 5:05 pm, this day come once in a life time.

What is a special day?
Why should it be only once in a life time? Ofcourse the answer to this question depends on the answer to previous question.

To me every day is a special day, as long as am contended with what I did that day. After all what else is required in one's life when you end your day with a smile, with a feeling of satisfaction, with a feeling of knowing that you were able to spend atleast one day in your life doing what you wanted instead of listening to others. Spending one day without the tensions of tomorrow nor the worries of y'day. Just living for the moment. Is all this not enough to call it a special day?




How many of us really enjoy our freedom? How many of us do not worry about the future or do not brood over the past? We keep struggling our whole life with so many
promises to keep, many commitments, many decisions to take. Life is too short to do
many things but not too short to stop for a moment to know where you are or what you want? I see many of my friends discussing their problems with me. But to be frank they dont seem to be problems at all to me. Not becos they are not my problems but cos most of them are temporary or very silly. One is worried about his career, one is worried about not having a GF, one is worried about salary, one is worried about boredom in life, one is worried about his guiltiness, one is worried about a way to cover his lies. Is this all life is?

From one of the forwards I got - 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. Live life as it comes, live it as if you are gonna die tomorrow and everyday would be a special day.