Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I confess. I really really love shopping. Even if what I buy is as simple as a hair clip, or some snacks for my dog Leo, or a new hair color for Mom, or some vegetables which I plan cooking that day. Sometimes this impulse is way too much that I blow thousands of rupees. And the satisfaction of owning something, even if it be for a fleeting few minutes, hours or days( yeah this never goes beyond days :-P), gives me a high. As if I have accomplished something. How much I love treating myself and those around me!

Lately, am being very frugal with money and it is really taking a toll on me. When was the last time I bought something for me? Especially this week, I cannot even rejoice in buying small things as my debit card is locked. How I forgot my PIN? That is a different story! Too many accounts at office, bank, emails, messengers, PINs and what not. And I cannot have the same password everywhere. And I did use all those password management tools and funny thing is I cannot remember the password tool's password. God, am losing my memory! I could not remember by ATM PIN! Am growing old :-(. 

First thing to do, get rid of all the emails except for one - Gmail. Get rid of all social accounts except for one - Facebook. No twitter, no orkut, no Google+ and no yet-another-social-network-site. No messengers except - Gtalk. No clutter. All this still means I will have to memorize at least minimum of 5-8 passwords/ PINs.

Secondly, I don't know how to stop me from shopping. Have been living on window shopping for a month now. My EMIs have not even started and here I am already worried about money management. How good were those old days, when all I think of was which mobile to buy than evaluating its usage, worth, cost etc. How good were those days, when I bought a DSLR, a decision which involved less than 5 mins of my time? I feel like am losing my freedom. Responsibilities...I hate them!

Well. I need to shop before I become that distressed angry woman who is yelling at her pet, and everyone around her. I am am going to buy myself a nice snugly tea cup. Well you see, am on a regular workout, and a good diet. I need to drink tea instead of coffee. And to make that green bitter tea a little worthwhile enjoying I NEED this cup. And guess what am borrowing money from my Mom to buy this ;-). Did I confess already that collecting mugs is one of my favorite shopping? :D

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Mutter Paneer Masala Recipe

Ingredients
Mutter Paneer Masala
  1. 2 cups of fresh green peas
  2. 1 Cup Paneer 
  3. 2 large sized tomatoes 
  4. 1 tbl spoon of ginger garlic paste
  5. 1 tbl spoon of cashew paste
  6. 1 large sized onion
  7. 4 green chillies
  8. 4 tbl spoon of chilli powder
  9. 1 tbl spoon of garam masala
  10. salt to taste
  11. 1/4 tbl spoon of turmeric powder
  12. 1/2 cup of curds
  13. oil as needed 
  14. Chopped coriander leaves for garnishing
Preparation

1. Heat oil and fry paneer till they turn golden yellow color.
2. Make tomatoe puree by grinding them in a mixer.
3. Soak cashews in water for 15-20 mins and grind them to paste.
4. Chop onions and green chillies.
5. Heat the oil and fry green chillies and onions. Add turmeric powder, ginger-garlic paste and fry for few mins.
6. Add tomatoe puree, curds, cashew paste, garam masala, chilli powder and salt.
7. Add peas and paneer to this and let it saute till the peas are cooked.
8. Add coriander and serve hot.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Confidentiality

How tough is it to keep a secret? OK, agreed. It  might be a little difficult if especially the secret is of a person who is your enemy or whom you don't bother about. But why do people make these mistakes of sharing secrets of their close confidants. Is Trust antique? Does this exist anymore? Are people to be trusted for their integrity?

Forget about secrets, even small details people have this urge to discuss, share, spread. Rumors. How much they enjoy spreading them. What is it that makes these people happy about doing this? I feel good about myself when I contain someones secret. I feel valued when someone confides in me, and I take it as an obligation to keep it with me forever. I see no joy in doing it otherwise. 

I really want to know what goes on in people's mind when they let out a secret. Are they trying to win a new friend by letting out another friend's secrets? Last time when I did that...was in my school days. It was to get back at one of my friends who became my enemy. Does this trick still work? Hurting someone by letting out their secrets? Have not people grown up? 

I really value silence. I really think not sharing is the best one can do to themselves. With time everything shall pass, and there really is no need to share a secret with anyone. Somehow being less open to people made my life peaceful. Even if I share I ensure that the person I share my secrets with, have no connection to my family, professional life or the rest of my friends. It was difficult to find these unique pearls, but am glad I did. People with character, integrity and most importantly respect for me.

A problem at work I share it with someone from my personal life who has no way to connect to my work life. Not now, not in future. A problem in personal life, I share it with some good old friend who cannot again connect back to my family or people close to me. I might be different to different people, but keeping my secrets is as important as to keeping my identity. My sanity.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Work In Progress - The Dawn

The Dawn, recently celebrated its silver jubilee as a successful news publishing company . At the function which involved many of the celebrities from Politics, Entertainment, Sports, announced its plan to expand concentrating mainly on South zone. As part of this initiative South Zonal office has been setup with James Edward leading the newspaper line. Jay Clement has been moved from Head-Quarters to assist James as the managing editor. Jay took it up the moment it was offered to him, more for the reasons that he wanted to move back close to home in south.

Two years since south zone has been setup and the sales have been going up for the last few quarters. Though the early days were a struggle for both Edward and Clement. Clement was the right-hand man to James, who took over most of the operational work and played a major part in setting up the unit and running it successfully. He did all this just because he was passionate about work will be a lie. Rumors are that he reaped good monetary benefits and stock options. But lately things have not been going well between the two. In-spite of all the hard-work that Clement and his team has put in to run the newspaper successfully in the south zone, James brought in a new Managing Editor. Not as a threat to Jay's job, but as any other Chief would do when the business is expanding. When Jay expressed the same concern with Edward, he was ridiculed. James said, "If I go by your theory, the CEO from the head quarters had to come down to run this  South Zone, not me". But for Clement there was a break of trust between James and him. He tried to accept the new managing editor Perry Thomas. He corrected his expectations. But the feeling of losing his position as the most reliable person for James always nagged him. To add to this Edward was directly making changes in his team, few times consulting him and most of the times without consulting him. Edward was also making decisions on what gets published and what does not. Jay felt less energetic each day. He felt he was no more important at office nor his decisions were respected.

It was an usual Monday morning. Diana's first day at "The Dawn". She likes changes. New beginnings. Every ending is a new beginning to her. Not that she isn't nostalgic. But she is a reformer at heart and she knows how to forget the bitter past and move on. At job, in life, in relationships. She knows how to mend a broken heart,  solve a tiff at work place or a difficult problem in life. She has seen life. Seen the worse. Seen the best. But all of it does not score against her feminine side. She cries like any other girl, rather more than any other girl. If there was a competition, she would definitely win. Nothing or no one can stop her tears, except her realization that its a waste of time and tears. And that realization often comes after she has spent good enough time wasting it. Of course, this new job is going to make her cry too.

She came in early to realize that only 30% of the staff was in office. She was asked to meet Sofia Keller, Jay's assistant. She was able to find her way to Sofia's desk. After womanly greetings and hugs, Sofia showed her desk, and took her around for a tour of the office. On their way Diana heard someone yelling. It was coming from one of the conference rooms. The door was half open. Diana could see from the corner of her eye...a bald short man standing next to the door, with his head down and peeping through the door to see if there is any audience for his embarrassment. She could not see who was yelling. Sofia said that it was so and so columnist swearing at his journalist regarding an article and that she is not to mind the entire fiasco they put up on a Monday morning.

"Umm. How is Jay? Is he also like that? Does he yell? Does he get angry?" asked worried Diana.

Sofia stopped for a second and turned back to face Diana who was following her to the pantry. "He is the ONE who you need not worry about. He is a darling! I have never seen him getting angry. You are lucky!", she said with a wink.

"Phew! That's a relief. My first worry at any job is my boss", said Diana with a sigh of relief.

"When does he come in? Can I meet him today?", inquired Diana.

Sofia looked at her watch and said, "well, he should be in any minute now. Sure, let me check his calendar. Usually no one has meetings on Mondays, unless you have ruined their weekend with a horrible article that got published", with raised eye brows which meant as a matter of fact.

"But you don't worry. Your boss knows how to ignore mistakes. You will never have worrisome Mondays", said Sofia clearing Diana's doubts. Ignore mistakes? Wow, is that good or bad? She does not like to work in an environment where in everything is grey. To her everything is either black or white. No in-betweens, she would honor choosing sides than playing a diplomat. She would prefer a blunt feedback to flattery. Even though it hurts her ans stings her more than she expected it to.

Sofia introduced Diana to few other staff members in the pantry. And all day long Diana kept listening to people's opinion of Jay. Everyone said that she is lucky to work with Jay Clement.

Diana and Sofia got back to their desks. Diana was setting up her desk when Jay walked in. He was fiddling with his PDA, probably checking the stocks that he invested in she thought. She stood up waiting to greet him. As he approached Diana said "Hi Jay. Good Morning!".

Jay looked up. After 2 seconds he realized who he was talking to. No smile. No expression. A blank face is what Diana got. He said, "Yeah hi. Diana right?". How can he forget her name? The one name which reminds him of the checkmate that he got. Now the name is a person. A face. A constant reminder in his work place. "Let's catch up later in the day", and he disappeared before those words could reach Diana's ears. She felt awkward. For some reason she thought its not the same person she met at the party two weeks back. Its not the same person, whom the rest of the staff has been singing praises. Is this their way of ragging a new joinee? Raising your expectations so high that you end up disappointed and let down to the depths of the earth and humiliation? Is this how new members are welcomed? In the next few months she learns that it is partly true. She was too new in the organization to be trusted and everyone played safe by being a hypocrite, except for Sofia. And of course Sofia was sucking up-to her boss and later Diana learns that she also has a crush on him.

She thought may be am overacting. May be am over-thinking. He might just be busy. Or his stupid stocks did not show him the right numbers. Or may be Monday morning blues. She thought he would be different when they meet later in the day. But that meeting never happened. Not for the next two weeks.

Jay kept ignoring her. He thought by ignoring her he can get back to James. As if not acknowledging Diana, he is in a way not acknowledging Edward's authority, intrusion. He knew that he was not thinking straight. He knew that Diana is the victim for no fault of hers. Yet he just could not get the courage to look past it and welcome Diana into the team. Every chance he got he denied her presence, in group meetings he acted as though she was invisible to him, only him knowing how much he felt her presence. There was no news segment assigned to Diana and she was getting restless day by day. Each day she used to come to office in a hope that Jay would finally find time for her and ask her to work on an assignment. But each day ended with nothing but frustration. One  such day she caught James Edward in the elevator on her way to the basement.

"Hey Diana, how are you doing?", James inquired as soon as he saw her in the elevator. That was James strength. Knowing people by their names no matter how small they were when compared to him. Having that personal relationship, adding more meaning to his relationships with his employees. She was very happy to know that at least someone, no, the big head was talking to her with such familiarity. 
She gave a wry smile and said,  "Doing good Edward. Nice to see you".

"So, how is the dawn treating you? Enjoying like I said you would?"
"To tell you the truth, The Dawn is treating me like I own it. No work assigned till date and yes enjoying my honeymoon period, which seem to last forever", she said sarcastically.
James smiled as if he exactly understood what was going on and said, "Let me know if you would be interested in Weekly Magazine. I can have you work with Perry Thomas."

Diana was hired by James to write on a weekly column on Corruption, which would run half of the Page 5 in The Dawn on Thursdays. It looked promising. She loves challenges and accepted the offer immediately, as she was looking for a firm which would let her publish with freedom with no bureaucracy. But Jay has not even spoken a word since she joined the dawn. On the other hand, an offer to run a weekly series in the magazine? She thought this would lead to her dream of publishing a novel someday. But she knew she wanted to work with Jay. She has been reading The Dawn for the last three months, especially her favorite Editor's Column by Jay Clement. And she had decided that she wants to work with Jay back then.

"Well, Jay seems to have something big planned for me, like you promised. And I read in one of his articles that patience is a nice virtue"
"Sure, my dear. That is why I hired you", James said with a smug, and patting her back, to say mean that he was proud of her.
They said goodbyes as the elevator halted.

On her way back home, Diana was hardly concentrating on the traffic. Surprisingly there was not much traffic and which allowed Diana to slip into her thoughts. She was thinking how Jay and James are different. How she felt so comfortable, respected and trusted with James, even with those fewer minutes she have had with him. How he could meet a person for few minutes and linger on their minds for days. On the other hand, Jay, makes himself so invisible that it is hard to register his presence, no matter how hard you try. How did she find his articles so captivating but not him. She could see that working with Jay was not going to be a smooth ride like the one she was having now on her way back to home. She could see it as a challenge. The biggest challenge. She thought if syncing of thoughts or ideals is so much important to work with a person? How could she not read the person behind those articles she has been reading for the past few months? Jay was totally opposite to what she had imagined of an author of those columns.

That ruined her day. She took a sudden turn and picked her mobile to dial a number. She had no plans to go back to home that day. She was going to meet her x-boy friend, a trustworthy friend of hers and spend the rest of the evening cribbing about her new job. Women. At the end of the day, they are no different! They all need a friendly shoulder to rest their head on, and Diana was no different.

[ To be Continued....?]

I have no idea what crap am writing about. I got 5 more pages written, but only by this third post I know what the title is going to be "The Dawn". It is fiction for sure, but what is the genre going to be? I don't know.  What is the theme?  I don't know. What is this about? I don't know. Is this how people write? But I do enjoy writing, even if it is crap.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Thank Heavens Am Still Human

There is this scene from the Movie "I, Robot". There is an accident and both the cars are drowning in the water. Each of the cars has one person alive. One has Will Smith, the officer and the other has a kid. And the Robot tries to save them from the accident. It calculates that Will Smith has more probability of surviving than the small girl and it saves him. And for the rest of his life he hates the robot. That girl was a kid of someone and even 0.009% of surviving chances means a lot to her parents, which a Robot cannot, and can never figure out no matter on what latest technology it is built on. No matter what fool-proof logic it applies.

From the movie I, Robot,

Susan Calvin: What happened to you?
Detective Del Spooner: Headed back to the station. Normal day, normal life. The driver of a semi fell asleep at the wheel. Average guy, wife and kids, working a double. *Not* the devil. The car he hit, the driver's name was Harold Lloyd. Like the film star, but no relation. He was killed instantly. But his twelve-year-old was sitting in the passenger's seat. Never really met her. Can't forget her face, though. Sarah.
[
fingering the necklace]
Detective Del Spooner: This was hers. She wanted to be a dentist. What the hell kind of twelve-year-old wants to be a dentist? Yeah, um... the truck smashed our cars together and pushed us into the river. You know, metal gets pretty pliable at those speeds. She's pinned, I'm pinned, the water's coming in. I'm a cop, so I know everybody's dead. Just a few minutes until we figure that out. NS4 was passing by and jumped in the river.
NS4 Robots: [
from flashback] You are in danger!
Detective Del Spooner: [
from flashback] Save her!
NS4 Robots: [
from flashback] You are in danger!
Detective Del Spooner: [
from flashback] Save her! Save the girl!
Detective Del Spooner: But it didn't. Saved me.
Susan Calvin: The robot's brain is a difference engine. It's reading vital signs. It must have done...
Detective Del Spooner: It did. I was the logical choice. It calculated that I had a 45% chance of survival. Sarah only had an 11% chance. That was somebody's baby. 11% is more than enough. A human being would've known that. Robots,
[
indicating his heart]
Detective Del Spooner: nothing here, just lights and clockwork. Go ahead, you trust 'em if you want to.


Why do I remember this now? I almost behaved like a Robot few weeks back. There was this mail at office saying one of the active CLT( Child NGO trust...) who met with an accident. These are the exact words from the email,

"I must point out that there is a good chance that she might not make it. If she does, we do not know in what condition."

Me being a pessimist, more to say logical and heartless at that time, evaluated if it was worth giving money to save her life or was the money worth spent on a child who has rest of the life to live? And thank god, my faith in life won over my logic. I finally did help this female and guess what. I got this mail today,

"All her organs are fine; breathing on her own. Vital Signs are good"

Is this feeling called divine? Feeling that your faith was higher than anything else? That your wishes for an unknown person have come true? Is this called a miracle? I would say the word gratitude is overrrated. It takes away the kindness in people. Till date I really did not know what went into my head that day inspite of all the logic that was screaming in my ears. Guess, this is called intuition.

God bless Sridevi! Hope you recover soon. Saving life's is best job one can do. I wish I had enough courage to be a Doctor. I wish am at least part of the organizations who save life's. Someday!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Pineapple Upside Down Cake

How much I hate it when things do not turn the way I expected them to? Seriously I need to take few things lite in my life. Reason for starting a blog post that is titled with one of my favorite cakes, on a negative note...my trail of baking this cake at home did not turn out well. It came out ok, after so many trails and experiments with Micro Wave.

I tried baking using MW twice before. It either became too hard like a biscuit or it was not cooked inside. I googled and then found that baking with MW is not easy and many women had posted same problem. But someday I am going to nail this. I am still trying to analyze what went wrong. Was baking powder less? I added more butter? Or is the MW to be blamed? I will blame the MW cause I could bake excellent cake( of course last time sugar was less) without MW, using Mom's oven and it came out well. Soft, fluffy and tasty( I like it with less sugar).

Anyways am posting this recipe as there is absolutely no problem with the recipe though. It's almost same as the recipe that  I posted for Banana Cake. Here's the recipe.

For the topping

1. Tinned pineapple slices
2. 1/4 cup of sugar ( I used white sugar, but brown sugar is recommended)
3. Butter (as needed, I used 6 tbl spoons of butter )

For the Cake Batter

1. All purpose flour ( maida) - 2 cups
2. 3 eggs
3. 3/4 cup of sugar ( You can make it 1 cup or 1.25 if you like the cake to be too sweet)
4. 3/4 cup of butter
5. 1 tbl spoon of baking soda
Pineapple Upside Down Cake
6. 1 tbl spoon of baking powder
7. 1 tbl spoon of lemon juice
8. 2-3 tbl spoon of milk

Preperation

1. Mix all the ingredients for the batter in  a mixer. You could add essence or color to this if you wish.
2. For the topping mix butter and sugar and heat it on medium flame till it starts bubbling.
3. Grease the baking bowl( for MW you NEED to use baking bowls eg. Borosil) and pour the sugar syrup.
4. Place the pineapple slices.
5. Pour the batter into the bowl.
6. I used Auto Cook Menu A-12( Onida Convection MW ). Or you could bake it using Bake/ Keep Warm settings at 150 C for 30-40 mins. You can stop the MW anytime and see if the cake is baked.
7. Turn the baked cake upside down, add cherrys as shown in the image.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Work In Progress - The Dialogue

..."Aren't you Jay? The Managing Editor?". It was a new face. He always liked strangers than familiarities. Moreover it was a female, the weaker sex. He was more at ease now. 'The Managing Editor'...when was the last time someone reminded him of what position he holds in the industry? Jay...and a stranger calling him by his first name and who knows him already by name...yeah the first name, before even they had met? He stretched his hand forward for a handshake, nodding yes with a narrow smile and with a gesture which meant "And you are?". Before these words could make their way out of his snarly thoughts and reach his mouth, she said, "I am Diana...". Their hands met briefly for a quick handshake.

There are moments. Moments when things happen with the speed of time but moments in human minds which would take their own time. Which would run on their own time. Moments like these. When two strangers meet. Each trying to analyze and judge the other person. Logical mind pounding to frame the first impression of the person. As if making a first impression is as necessary as knowing the other person's name. Name is an external identity of a person, but our brains maps these names to the tags that our logic, experience has tagged them with.

To her, the first impressions were most of the times the last impressions. They hardly changed. Not that she was not willing to revise them, but people somehow remained same. Or may be she is good at guessing a person by their first meet. Little details of each person which are unique to them, made it easier for her to come up with tags...boring, fake, lazy, kind, mean, over-confident, difficult, hypocrite and so on. People got more tags added to them, but their first tags she gave them remained. Body language, dressing style, gestures, their choice of words, facial expressions, a handshake...people carry so much of their identity with them wherever they go whether or not they want to give it away.

He was dressed in pale colors, his shirt drooping from his shoulders. With a slight hunchback, to look shorter than he is. She thought he is diffident. She is right, he always underplays except for one, that is his age. She did not know his age, and guessed that he must be in his mid 40's. And she is right again, he makes every attempt to be older than he is, as though he is in a race for aging and he seem to have succeeded. His handshake. Her style is to give a  "Cold Fish" handshake and let the other person lead. It is her trick with strangers to know their personality. And to her surprise he gave it back to her....the cold fish!

Diana tagged him...Timid.

To him, his first impressions were always wrong. Those who he thought were his followers were the people who stabbed him in the back, those who he wanted to put his trust in, let him down. For each of these experiences he blames the people rather than his own judgement of them. And today he is a pessimist who can only look down on each of these mean little creatures on earth who look so small to him.

He realized that he was standing near the emergency exit that leads to the staircase. Diana has come from there. What was she doing there? He thought may be she was on a phone call...with her boy friend?. He dismissed this idea, thinking if she really did have a boy friend, he would be here in this party with her. He fancied with the idea that she is yet another dumb girl who could not find the way to elevator in that building and climbed up the stairs to this place. Or was she also like him, who steps back to watch the rest of the world play for him/her? Was she watching him all this while? How long was she there? His thoughts were interrupted by another voice, which he is so used to listening to everyday. Which he detests. And there was a shadow of frustration on his face, which Diana could see.

"There you are...Jay meet your new troupe member, Diana. She is joining us in two weeks", said James. What? A new member in his team? When did this happen? And without his knowledge? She is joining in two weeks time and he has no hint of it? When was James planning to break this news to him? On the day of her joining? Of course, James was the Chief of Editor, but am the one who is running the department, I need to know who am going to work with on day to day basis. What the hell does this 'silly stupid forthcoming girl' know about writing in the first place? Yes, that was his first judgement of Diana, which was mostly influenced by his anger, fury, frustration.

James took Diana away to introduce her to other people. And Jay stood there helpless. Powerless. After all the stranger turned out to be a mockery at his weakness. A smack on his ego. And so he made her the target of his indifference, reproach, and bitterness in the next couple of months...

[ To be continued...]

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Work In Progress - My First Fictional Character

There he is, standing at the corner of the room. Looking older than his age. His face feigning the battles he fought to be where he is today in his life. As though he has lived many lives in a single span of life time that is not seen the end yet. With shallow popping eyes, which hardly say anything. If at all they say, its worry that they speak. No one can figure what troubling thoughts made his hair salt-and-peppers. No one can call him their  friend. No one seems to have an opinion of him. How did he miss the sheer judgement of people around him? Or how did he become so invisible that people did not bother judging him?

He always finds himself a safe comfortable corner in any gathering where no one could bother him. What is he afraid of? People? Being a target? Or is he so busy with his own imaginary worries that he believes that people are better off without his company? Yet he is there. In that room filled with hundreds of people. Room filled with laughter, chatter, and most importantly boredom for him.

He skims across the room, searching for something but not sure of what it is. He searches each of those faces, few of those which he sees everyday, in speculation. He stood there, may be not to isolate himself. May be to see if someone from the crowd notices him. May be to know if someone out there is looking for him. And as if someone did read this in his searching eyes, he heard someone say "Hello..." behind his ears.

The voice startled him. It was someone's which he had never heard before. He was almost about to disregard the voice not believing that it was intended for him. But, he could see no one else with him in that corner of the room. Isn't that the reason why he chose to place himself there. But He felt someone standing right behind him. His curiosity told him to turn around. His caution told him to wait. This was not new to him...wavering. Between two minds. Between decisions. Between right and wrong. Between yes and no. 'May be' is his favorite phrase and 'Grey' is his favorite color.


It felt like ages for him before he could take an action. He always felt time was leaving him behind, and he found himself many a times running behind the mirage of time. In reality it was only a fraction of second but his mind aged him churning over his endless thoughts each day. And suddenly, in a jiff the voice turned out to be an image. A solid image standing right in front of him, waiting for his response.


THAT was their first meeting....[ To be continued...]

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Dilemma

How can you like and dislike the same person? Strange! Or am I confused? Fooled? This is happening to me again. Most of my best relationships have started on fights. Komal, my childhood best friend at the age of 10 yrs, was my enemy to start with. And today she is the first friend in my life that I remember. Shanti/ Sirisha, my college friends, I hated them initially. They were the people I dreaded to end up being friends with. 

But right now am going through a dilemma, I hate this person for her/ his morals, value system or whatever you call it. I do not like the way s/he behaves or thinks, like people who have given up in their lives. Who just want to blend in with something. Who constantly want to please the other person, even though they do not mean it. Who are basically questionable when it comes to trusting them. I like people who are bold, straight forward. Who are in other words 'what you see is what you get'.

Anyways, coming back to my dilemma, I don't know what I like in this person. The basic trait of pleasing everyone around is appealing to me? I don't think so. I can make out what is phony. Then am I hoping that deep down this person there is a kind, gentle, sympathetic, friendly heart that is true? But why? Is this what you attribute to astrology? :-P

My experience or history says am eventually going to ignore all these negativity and end up being friends with this person and repent later for my decision on compromising on my values. Nope, not again....Why the hell do I need to trust someone? You will know by the end of this post, why!

What do I like in this person:

1. Smile 
2. Soft, gentle nature [ Which is very dubious to me ]
3. Knows exactly how to please a person, any person for that matter. Which is a worthy talent
4. Knows exactly what is the other person's weakness. Ha ha ha, not figured mine yet

What do I don't like in this person:

1. Pushover personality, not energetic, chooses least resistant path
2. Selfish, who is not?!
3. Not truthful or honest
4. Unstable mentality
5. Looks down on women...there you go...yes the person in question is male :D
6. Favors mediocrity, I have no idea why?
7. Political mind


I better stop here, else the list of things I don't like will keep growing and THAT is not good for me. Yes, unfortunately not liking this person is not an option for me :'-(, the reason why I need to workaround this matter and clear the mess in my brain.


Monday, January 16, 2012

The Art Of Narrating

Have I not mentioned already on this blog, that my dream is to write a book? May be not. I am a true Sagittarius...secretive :D. Anyways, I have been reading so many books since my 5th grade??? Yet I did not concentrate on the narrating style of any of the authors I read. I was impressed by their choice of words or the way they could make the reader identify themselves with one of the characters. Narration is an art in itself.

I could write pages about myself or about someone or something. But I don't think I can narrate a story. I don't think I can write how a conversation between two people would be. This needs thinking like two different people. All am good at is thinking like a person...to be more honest, thinking like me or someone like me. That makes me a bad author I guess.

Case 1 - Narrating as I: In first person

Well I might be good at this. But then again, the character will have close resemblance to me. I am so self-centered and self-absorbed which is the worst quality of a writer I believe. I should start writing short fictional stories. Seriously. May be a good idea is to pick someone from the life around me, observe that person, think like that person and talk like that person. Do writers really do all this? Would not they loose their own identity over a period of time if they start thinking like others? Anyway, this must be the easiest form of narration if the character does not divulge too much from your own character?!!

Case 2 - Narrating as Her/ Him: In Second person

As long as you can understand someone, this should be easy. I really should try. Try telling a story as the other person does. From her/ his view.


Case 3 - Narrating as Multiple characters: Other form of case 1, but as different characters

This is the most difficult. To be in different minds. I like Jodi Picoult's novels in this regard. Her novels are split into chapters, each chapter narrated by different characters in the book. And its amazing how she describes those characters and their worlds. Each having tangential views. How does she do that?

Case 4 - Narrating as non-human beings...say dogs:

Well I read few novels where the narrators are non-humans. For eg., a dog. This is way too fictional and is far from reality. And I must suck at it. I have trouble accepting other human beings, forget about accepting a non-human and try to talk like it.

So well, there is my Problem Definition :D. Project Narration. Starting tomorrow, I should make efforts to talk, think and write like someone else. Let me see who that first character is going to be!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Language Is Overrated

One of my Facebook friends shared the link below on their wall. Love the story though not sure if it is fiction. Wonder how human beings in spite of all their evolution, civilization blah blah, they still cling on to dreams, hopes, fantasies and top of that imaginary language they use to communicate. So true, I feel the same with Leo. He communicates better than human beings do. He gets so close to each of us though he hardly uses any words. We humans have evolved so much that each of us know more than 3 languages and yet we fail miserably when it comes to reaching out to the other person's heart. Somehow the little gestures that matter have been forsaken which zap the magic in our lives.

Read on - Elizabeth & Paul


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Sizzle Dazzle Brownie @ CCD

I am not a fan of chocolate. I hate it except for Sizzle Dazzle Brownie at CCD. I get these sudden cravings once in a blue moon. Ah, talking about the cravings...apparently the weighing machine at the Gold's Gym was reading incorrectly and hence the increase in my weight in Dec. Last year December month had been terrific with parties every other day. They started on Dec 3rd and ended on Dec 31st. All that splurge and no exercise made me believe that I had put on a lot of weight. But the truth is I was happy and it made me feel full :D.

Anyways, that dumb machine psyched me up and I have been on strict diet since 3 weeks of aerobics. Only today I got to know that my weight is normal and guess what, the first thing I want to please my taste buds with is Sizzle Dazzle Brownie. Tomorrow my loan file is going to be cleared and am expecting to hear from the Bank that the loan is approved. Already declared to my teammates about the treat tomorrow.

All said and done, I think good food is important to keep your sanity. Keep you high. Keep you happy. Not my theory, but eating good always makes you happy, proven by science too. So eat good, and exercise good.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Coca Cola latest ad - "Believe in a Happier Tomorrow" - TVC

Love this ad which does not involve latest Bollywood hero/ heroin like Coca Cola's previous ads

Ummeed Waali Dhoop,
Sunshine Waali Aasha
Rone Ki Wajah Hai Kam,
Hansne Ke Bahane Jyada
Zidd Hai Muskuraayenge
Khush Rehne Ka Hai Waada

Umeed Wali Dhoop,
Sunshine Waali Asha
Tum Dil Se Agar Puchhoge
Woh Khush Rehna Hi Chahe
Jab Sache Mann Se Maango
Toh Khul Jaati Hai Raahein
Lyricspassion.blogspot.com
Toh Khul Ke Khusi Lutaao,
Ye Kya Aadha-Aadha
Umeedon Wali Dhoop,
Sunshine Wali Asha
Umeedon Wali Dhoop,
Sunshine Wali Asha




Found english version with lyrics,

I'm free to be whatever I
Whatever I choose
And I'll sing the blues if I want
I'm free to say whatever I
Whatever I like
If it's wrong or right it's alright
Always seems to me
You only see what people want you to see
How long's it gonna be
Before we get on the bus
And cause no fuss
Get a grip on yourself
It don't cost much
Free to be whatever you
Whatever you say
If it comes my way it's alright
You're free to be wherever you
Wherever you please
You can shoot the breeze if you wanted