Where do you put your trust?

For human beings Trust, Faith or Hope are essentials like air,water and earth. Life is such a complex thing, that we often face difficult situations. Situations might merely be difficult just because that is the first time you are facing it. So we fight, we struggle, we fail or we might succeed. All through this, what is the faith or belief that makes you fight for it? Whom or what do you trust in?

People. Do you go to your best friend? A family member? Or an expert in dealing with difficult situations? If your answer is yes, is your life not a result of the opinions of these people? Of what they think is success or failure? Is not your existence entirely dependent on these people? Can these people be really trusted? What happens when these people are no more in your life? Haven't we built a mental prison for ourselves in doing so?

Abilities. Would your abilities help you always? With your abilities you sure can control the damage but can you control what happens to you? Aren't most of the tough phases in life, which happen to us, are beyond our control. Take the biggest misfortunes like an accident, natural calamities to trivial day-to-day drama where you had been setup by evilness around. Is it lack of skills to overcome such situations or it's just a limitation that has let us down? No one is skilled to deal with more than what life has to offer him.

You.I believe only one person who totally understands you, who can think of nothing else but your good, and who will always be with you in the entire journey, and who would never give up on you, is only YOU. But isn't LIFE bigger than YOU, that putting all your trust in oneself, believing in oneself is not enough? Is this when you put your trust in the Almighty, a force which you believe is bigger than you,  that invisible force above all, called GOD?

God. If GOD is the answer, then how many of us have never failed? How many of us have a LIFE that is nothing but heaven? If the answer is not GOD, then where do you put your trust?
 

Dealing With Difficult People

I found this article on Financial Express News Paper dated May 2, 2011, Bangalore Edition. Author is Shweta Handa Gupta.

"In the school of life, difficult people are the faculty, They teach us our most important lessons, the lessons that we would be most unlikely to learn on our own"  - Mark I Rosen.

Difficult people are everywhere. At job, in personal life, at home. All around us. And this is the toughest challenge to face, if you are a person of mettle, character and who is not a second-hander [ Ayn Rand's definition of a second-hander ]. Dealing with such people is an emotionally draining process. I prefer to avoid such people and stay miles away from them. But many a times it just inevitable. This article explains on how to deal with such inevitability my seeing things through the other person's perspective, by not loosing your sanity and choosing your responses.

She goes on to explain how to try and understand the situation the Other person is put in, and why s/he is behaving in so-and-so manner. Each person's issue is a real problem to them. Like you, everyone has their own set of issues. In this light, do not be biased, and frame a negative opinion on the Other person based on a trivial negative trait about the Other person which is not of your liking. Trying to change the Other person is a dead end which will only result in aggravating the situation. 

Coming to One Self, there are people with whom you just do not get along, for many reasons. And if you are a person who does not want to be treated as a doormat, yet not get involved with these cheap tricks that others play on you, you may want to choose your responses. You may want to question yourself before you react.

• Am I taking personally something that is not specifically directed at me?
• Am I just trying to win the argument/ prove myself right? What do I gain out of winning this argument?
• Is it my rational brain or my ego that is driving me to this response? Will I actually feel satisfied if I win this fight?
• Will I be happy with my behavior at the end of this? Is this bringing out the worst in me and making me difficult to deal with too?
• Is this person always as negative as I believe him/ her to be? Can I think of some examples when this person has behaved differently from my negative perception?
• What do I feel when I think about this person? How do I behave when I am feeling this way? If I could let go of my negative emotions towards this person  how would I feel and behave? 

Article ends by quoting Einstein - "insanity is doing same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Si, if we want different outcomes to our interactions with different people, we need to focus on changing our responses and try to establish healthier patterns,

Trust

I have major trust issues. I cannot trust in people, situations or my fate. When it comes to trusting people, I do not trust anyone in my family. I do not believe that they will stand by me, for me, or that they will catch me if I fall. Not because they do not intend to, but to them am the supporter. It's the other way, they expect be to be there for them. Friends, well I do trust them, but unfortunately, time and again, all those whom I trust in, are lost, by distance. By my bad fate yet again. So that makes me one sad loner [ like that a$$hole said]? According to dictionary Loner is someone who avoids the company of other people, so that's not me. 

Colleagues at work? No way. I do not trust anyone. Not even my manager. No body. So my Bigboss promised me a promotion so that I will join his team. But I did not trust in him. He said I can change my projects as per my wish, that too I did not trust. But guess what, he has gone out of his way to get things done for me. Just because he gave me a promise. How many people do that these days? Of course I deserve everything that he has done for me, but still how many would fight with people, make few enemies, just to honor talent? Sincerity? and passion to work? I was so surprised to see that he kept his words. I was a bit embarrassed not to have put trust in him and for worrying. Work wise, Sharad[Manager] and Imran[Teammate & Senior] was one team where in I need not have to worry a bit about politics. Life was so peaceful in DCBU. Damn peaceful.

And given any difficult situation in life where patience is the only answer, I have a huge problem in having faith that things are going to be OK. No matter how many people tell me that it is going to be OK, I cannot sleep till the time when things are resolved. I do not remember if I was like this always, or sometime down the line I changed, that I lost faith. I have gone through so much in life. Yet I am here, successful, independent, then why the hell cannot I trust in my fate? Of course at relationships or people I have failed miserably. But can that decide the rest of my life?


Why can't I be positive? Why can't I just TRUST? Why am I skeptical or pessimistic about life? Why don't I have a positive outlook on life? I am being overprotective of myself? Can I blame people in my life so far who made me so negative in my outlook? 


I have DECIDED to be positive. And just TRUST in the best. Let me see if all my fears are real, if all my worries are worthy. Wish me good luck.