Tuesday, April 09, 2013

What is my EQ?

I have yelled at people. Big time. Family members, friends and even people at work. At work although it was not actually yelling but arguing logically in a raised voice. Till it happened to me I did not realize how bad it felt. Being yelled at. That too a person from work? On what earth does he even think he has that edge on me to yell at me? School was the only place I got yelled at. As far as I remember.

In normal cases my reaction is anger. I get angry, I yell back and the chain continues. But why the hell did I cry? I never cry in front of others( unless they are close to me). I did not realize the tears till the other person started consoling me. Gawd, am losing my composure, my strength. Is this me?

Anyways, lessons to learn. Yelling at people is bad. There is nothing that cannot be done with a sweet talk. With a pleasant smile and kind words. I should really admire people whom I yelled at in the past and who still put up with me. I do admire them whole-hearted today. I really do. Wish there was a way to tell them so[ May be they don't even remember. So why bother is what my wicked side says!].

From internet on why people cry?

We have tear ducts to lubricate and protect our eyes from dust and other particles.
The ducts are under the upper eyelids and produce a salty liquid—a tear-–-that gets
spread throughout the eye after each blink. Animals too have the ability to produce
tears, but not necessarily for the same reasons that we humans produce them.
Three types of tears are generated by the human eye. Basal tears protect the eye and keep
it moist. Reflex tears flush out the eye when it becomes irritated. And emotional tears
flow in response to sadness, distress, or physical pain.

Studies have shown that emotional tears contain more manganese, an element that affects
temperament, and more prolactin, a hormone that regulates milk production. Sobbing out
manganese and prolactin is thought to relieve tension by balancing the body’s stress
levels and eliminating build ups of the chemicals, making the crier feel better.

But this minor physiological benefit aside, the most likely reason we produce emotional
tears is because it’s a means of communication. Before babies can speak, they can cry.
The only way for infants to express frustration, pain, fear, or need is to cry. Adults
may use crying to bond with other humans. Expressing sadness can prompt comfort and
support from peers. Different languages can provide barriers to spoken communication,
but emotions are universal. There are also culturally acceptable reasons for crying
that bring people together, such as at funerals or weddings.

It can also be a survival mechanism, notes Jodi DeLuca, PhD, a neuropsychologist at
Tampa General Hospital in Florida. ''When you cry," she says, "it's a signal you need
to address something." Among other things, it may mean you are frustrated, overwhelmed
or even just trying to get someone's attention, which DeLuca and other researchers call
a ''secondary gain'' cry.

On top of that, crying may have a biochemical purpose. It's believed to release stress
hormones or toxins from the body, says Lauren Bylsma, a PhD student at the University
of South Florida in Tampa, who has focused on crying in her research.

Lastly, crying has a purely social function, Bylsma says. It often wins support from
those who watch you cry. Sometimes, crying may be manipulative -- a way to get what
you want, whether you're asking a friend to go shopping with you, your spouse to
agree to a luxurious vacation, or your child to get their math homework done.

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