Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Demeanor

Should your behavior change based on situations, environment, people? Or you should be the same person with your so called attitude everywhere you go no matter what the situation is? Obviously no one is same as they used to be in their childhood. I am not the same person I used to be few years back forget childhood days. So why do people forget demeanor is an important aspect of how much they are respected or admired for?

"Don't confuse my personality and my attitude because my personality is ME and my attitude depends on YOU"
 
Situation 1 - I was with a friend A of mine in a common meeting. And this person A is not from engineering background. But whenever there is a question or competition A was participating 100% and was bent upon winning the chocolate. It did not matter to A how big or small the gift was. It did not matter if A's answers were right or way too stupid. All that mattered was the chocolate. That is how a kid behaves. And I find it quite amusing. Being a kid, with no inhibitions, I think in situations like this is a good to have behavior.  In the same situation I did not care for those chocolate nor did I care to compete. I wrote the answers and I had 99% of them correct but did not try to show it off. Why? Probably I thought chocolate is not a big enough thing to win or I cared less. At times I fall short of few things and this was one.

Situation 2 - I was talking about FUN at work with my college friends. And one of them is managing a team, and she old me that fun means different things to different people. FUN at work is mainly meant for team building activity and not to entertain and keep the engineers rejuvenated. If given a chance each individual would like to get rejuvenated in their own way with their own preferred set of people( or family). I was on an outing the other day and I totally do not get why people force me to do something which I am scared of or which I do not want to do it. Is that fun to me? These people have no special bonding with me other than hi-bye relationship, but in the outing they behave as though am their best buddy and they want me to go with them. Why? Are they guilty of doing something themselves? Or are they scared themselves and want people like them also to be on board? I seriously think going to places like Wonder La with scary rides is not a good idea for a team fun. How should one behave in such situations? Should one be a team player and go on rides that scare the life out of them? Should one just stick to what suits them best? If the answer is former, why should one suffer their opinion of FUN for the sake of team? If the answer is later how do you enjoy events like those?

Situation 3 - My friend in the above situation manages a team which has good number of women. She said, "I do not want women in my team to be a source of entertainment for the rest, and as a manager I need to take care of those subtle team dynamics". Dictating how women in her team should behave in front of  rest of the team is part of her job? I do not know. I know that my friend has right intentions, being a conservative lady. And I do believe there SHOULD be limitations on women's behavior but each individual is responsible and be sensible of their own behaviors than someone telling them.

I guess mostly Women always face more of these behavioral questions than men. Somehow what a man does, gets unnoticed. But what a woman does becomes talk of the town. Till the narrow minds of men change there are going to be comments on how a woman behaves in public or socially, from the same men who enjoy the jolly good times in their company. Such hypocrites they are! So I guess my friend is right that one should guard themselves and not be a source of gossip or entertainment.

Women - the days that Gandhi dreamt of have not come yet in India. So be on check, be on guard and be protective of yourselves. Happy Women's Day!

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