Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Setting herself free from...

Part I Entrancing
It was a saturday. And it was raining heavily.
School gets over by 3 pm on saturdays and there would be sports classes after that.But cause of rain they were cancelled and they were let to go home. Everyone were happy as the next day would be a sunday. No need to do any homework as you have one long sunday for that! Postponing that task till sunday evening or monday morning!

She wanted to go back home and play around with her friends. Waiting for the rain to calm down so that she can go home. Cursing the rain cause her mother would not allow her to play in the rain. She heard her friends saying that its great getting drenched in the rain but she herself never did that. Her friends too were waiting with her. It was more than a half an hour that they were watching the rain drops dribbling. Parents of few kids came to the school to pick up their children. She knew that her father will not come to pick her up as he works in another town and he himself would have been caught up in the rain.

But she was not thinking of any of these things..she was not even thinking of the games that she would be palying when shez back home...she was not even thinking of her homework...She was ...with one thought..and that was how would it be to get drenched in the rain. Same thought striked her friend too, and finally they decided that they will reach home inspite of the rain. Their intention was not to reach home but to play in the rain. Rain was entrancing her...

First time...showered with the drops of rain...she had nice fun with her friends. It was a great adventurous event for her. They were not worried about the people around them who were running helter-skelter from rain. They were happy that it rained and were hoping for it not to stop till they reach home.

It was the end of such an elated, jubilant journey. She reached home finally. She forgot all about her world and she returned home gleefully. But her mother was not in the same mood. Her mother was schocked to know that she has come home in such a heavy rain. Later that evening the same thing was complained to her father and her father beat her for doing that. But poor SHE...she did not think that getting wet in rain is such a sin and that she would be punished that way for that. She did never think that it would be taken so seriously by her parents. It was like her mother would support her if her father was angry with her and her father would support her if her mother was angry with her. But that day both her father and mother were scolding her. That night she did not have her dinner...she wept to herself and made a promise to her that she would never again get wet in rain.

Things were normal the next day...and the climate too was normal the next day...but for her there was a great change...she never again dared to come home in rain. She started hating rain since then....hatred out of fear...fear of disturbing her mother again...fear of having to face her father's fury...fear of not able to face this from her parents, fear of desolation from them. From school to college, college to the world, in the world as a person staying away from parents, in search of a bright career, she has been hearing from her friends, companions, colleagues...many saying/ talking about rain. She can see the joy in their eyes when it rains...but for her it would remind her of that night where she wept alone. Rainy day would be the worst day for her...it had a very bad psychological effect on her that every rainy day she would feel lonely, dejected and irritated.



Part II Embracing...

It was raining again...she was so busy the whole day but was satisifed that at the end of the day she was done with the work. She can go back home peacefully. But this was not the case with her. Damn thing it was raining...though it was already late she sat back and was waiting for the rain to stop. Finally she decided to go home, thinking that the rain would not stop.

She came out cursing rain...but strangely she was not feeling lonely...her immediate subject matter was to reach hostel as soon as possible. She got into the auto and due to trafiic rules had to get down at a place from where she had to walk down to her hostel. She hurried to cross the road and now she was in the same isolated, most of the times empty lane that she takes everyday back to her hostel. There were few people hurrying to reach their homes, few standing at the bus stop sheltering themselves from the rain.

She suddenly slowed down...she slowed down to walk at a relaxed pace, to stop and look at the hurried world around. To look at inner-self.

She was letting the rain embrace her. Thousands of rain drops kissed her face. Those drops questioning her why she had to hate them for so many years. Why is that she felt lonely when it was raining? Why was it they were looked at with contempt? She veritably has a peaceful comfortable life and like any other human being she should enjoy the rain. Now those rain drops were slapping her face with these questions trying to wake her up. Those rain drops were washing off her hallucinations, wiping of the brinks that she has set to herself.

She was set free...set free from her rules, from her trammels, from her self-effacing, from her timidness, from her limitations, from her oaths to herself. She was set free from the umbrella of that was sheilding her from the love and happiness of the nature to embrace her.

She finally realized that there were no one who could constrain her apart from herself.

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